lillady898 Posted July 24, 2004 Share Posted July 24, 2004 My boyfriend broke up with me because he says he needs time to think things through. He says he's stressed with things. I've asked him and he says he doesn't know if we'll get back together, because he is going to live a couple hours away in a month. And he doesn't think I'll be able to deal with it and will ruin his concentration on school. I have told him over and over that I would never allow myself to do that, but he has no faith in me. I know the best things are worth waiting for, but I'm scared because I don't know if I'm waiting for something that's not going to be there anymore. He told me to go out and explore because I am young and free. I tried so hard, but I would break out in tears within an hour of hanging out with someone else. I've never loved anyone like I love him. He has been getting pretty hostile with me, even to a point where he said I can only be his friend or else he won't know me anymore. It's like he forgot about my feelings and just doesn't care anymore. I've been trying to convince myself that he is wrong for me, but it won't work. It's been a while, yet still I can't get myself to have fun with other guys. I really believe he was meant for me. How much of this time should I give him before he decides whether he wants to be with me or not? Should I wait or force myself to go out with other guys? Is there any way to show him how much I care and how I would never want to get in his way while at school? Everything else in my life is starting to fall into place, except this. I can't imagine even enjoying all of the things I've been gaining without him by my side. I want him to share in my joy, or else I feel it would mean nothing. I'm just so confused. ANY advice would be so great! Thanks a bunch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
howtodeal011 Posted July 24, 2004 Share Posted July 24, 2004 Hi lillady, I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. I am in the same position because my gf of almost 6 years wants time away and space. It is absolutely devastating to know the person you are in love with does not want to be with you. I agree with you that the best things are worth waiting for. I want to wait so much for my ex to realize that i am the one for her, the one she cannot live without. However, before you can wait on it, you need to know if he is willing to come back to you in the future after he straightens out his priorities. My ex is trying to sort hers out and leaves the door a lil open. I will be waiting for her because i love her so much. It's the right thing to do if you really feel it's worth all the pain being without that person for a while. Just try to really think on the things he has told you and think whether or not is sounds like he may want to come back or not. Otherwise, you may be waiting for nothing. I feel yah because I also have such great things happening for me this year and it made all the difference to be able to share with that special person. But I know it sucks when you want to share, but they do not care. *SIGH* This sucks! I dont know why such bad things have to happen to people like us. I guess we take what's dealt to us and play it to the best hand we can. Just hang in there and feel out the situation if he seems like he may want to come back to you. Otherwise, I know it will be very very very hard, but each day slowly try to forget about him and keep occupied so you dont have to linger on it. I know it is easy to say...dont know if i can do it myself...but thats like the only thing that can be done if you are to get over him. Hope this helps. If you want to talk more... AIM: "o8anaga" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mun Posted July 24, 2004 Share Posted July 24, 2004 Hi, I think you should let him go now. He has told you that he wants his space and has even told you to go out and do your own thing. What are you waiting for? I think once he started being hostile it was time to get going. You can't push him into having or keeping a relationship with you if he does not want it. Be your own woman and walk away. If this is meant to be then he will come back and find you one day in the future. If you continue to hover over him he will only grow to resent you and become even more hostile. I am sure you are a great girl that any guy would love to spend time with. Treat yourself well. Give YOURSELF some time to get over this break up and then move on. Start slow. Go out with your friends and you will start feeling better eventually. Good luck ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lillady898 Posted July 24, 2004 Author Share Posted July 24, 2004 The thing is, he says he wants to remain friends. I don't know if he's just saying that to soften the blow, but how am I to let go when we're still hanging out? We hang out about once or twice a week now. It's so difficult. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mun Posted July 24, 2004 Share Posted July 24, 2004 Is he calling you to ask you out or are you calling him? He sounds confused. You can help him in his confusion by seeing less of him. If he wants to be "just friends" then I hope for your sake that you are behaving like ONLY friends. If you are still kissing and such then he succeeded in dropping you as his gf but he is still getting the benefits of it. That is not fair to you and it will only hurt you in the long run. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shylah Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 I would tell him how you feel about him. Then I would tell him that if you are to be friends, it will be just that. Continuing to be semi-intimate with him is showing him that he can still get you but without commitment. It is also giving you what may be false hope that a relationship will resume. I would take advantage of the "exploring" time, even if you don't want to start dating so soon. It will be hard to move on since you care about him so much. But take the opportunity to hang out with your friends and the chance to get to know yourself minus him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lady00 Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 I think you should move on. Moving on doesn't necessarily mean giving up on someone for good but moving on opens up your options...it will mean that you will be fine without him and you will also be in a better position to get back with him in the future but I would assume it's over for now and try to move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justtwicethen Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 Hi, I just want to let you know that, that quote from Laroche Focauld is one of the most amazing things I have ever heard in my life... wow.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saltwatergirl Posted July 26, 2004 Share Posted July 26, 2004 Why does going out wtih other guys have anything to do with this? You dont have to go out with other guys...there is nothing wrong with being alone and let him think. Other guys shouldnt even be a factor right now.... I'd say give him time, dont call, and leave him alone to think. Do your own thing. Spend time with friends. It doesnt mean you have to go out with anyone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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