Is she having her cake and eating it too?

[jboptop]

So there is a girl at work my age who I have become friends with. We are both good at what we do, and we talk about work a lot, and trust each other in a professional way. Lately, we have had a couple more personal conversations though, and have been spending more time together or texting each other than your normal "professional friends". We have been out to lunch a few times alone and we just have a really good time together, it feels like we are on a date that is going well when we are alone sometimes. There is a little bit of flirting, but she is a friendly person, and its not too much, so I don't know if I should make that much out of it.

 

Not surprisingly, I find myself thinking about her a lot, and as more than friends. However, she has a "boyfriend". I say it this way, because it does not seem to be too serious, and she is even hesitant to call him her boyfriend. He just moved somewhere within the state, but a few hours a way too. None the less, when the weekend comes she is going to be with him, while I am going to be alone, or with friends.

 

I still am not sure if she thinks of me in that way. I am a little more experienced than her professionally, and I know she values my advice, so she could just think I'm a nice friend and great co-worker. I understand this is something I will have to figure out on my own.

 

My question is- do I continue to let her have both? I give her the attention and effort of someone I like as more than a friend. I want her to think of me like that, should I continue to show her how good we are together (letting her have her cake and eat it too), or should I now (as we say in sales) "take that away" from her in an effort to make her want to be with me?

 

Thanks for listening, any advice or comments are much appreciated.

[DN]

Much depends on whether she views you as a friendly colleague or in some sort of romantic way.

[jboptop]

Yes, this is true. Given that I don't know that, and cannot easily find out, any advice? Keep in mind, "going for it" in any way is EXTREMELY risky given that we work so closely together.

[DN]

All relationships involve risk. So you either have to accept a friendship and make no move or make a move and accept the risk. There is no easy way - unless she makes a move and I wouldn't hold your breath waiting for that.