Guy still talks/hangs out with old ex's and old hookups?

[Hannah13]

Idk if anybody else has experienced this, but for me, it stabs at my jealousy side real bad. My guy and i have been dating for about 3 months(no label or anything, but we dont hookup w other people now) and things are so good, except for the fact that he still hangs out with old ex's and old hookups. One ex i KNOW for a fact thru mutual friends that she still has feelings for my guy. Im pretty sure he doesnt have any for them except for one girl he hooked up with(never dated) because she seems to be in his eyes, the one who got away.

 

We are both mid 20's. I hate to bring stuff like this up cuz im not very confrontational and dont wanna seem too clingly. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[dancingcolors]

My guy did that. Bad sign. I didn't know he was talking to one old hook up for a year, and still had strong feeling for her. I know he still emailed a wild one night stand. He wouldn't quit. I wouldn't put up with that sort of thing again.

[rosephase]

Do you trust him? It sounds like (correct me if I'm wrong here) that you would maybe like this to have labels?

 

I normally have to opinion that if a person is still close to there ex's that mean they are a good guy but I would feel a little strange if there wasn't any context for my relaitonship with them. Do other people know your dating? Do you still hang out with any ex's?

[Hannah13]

i personally feel that my ex's are my ex's for a reason, esp the ones with sexual attatchment. i dont talk to any of them. i dont think this guy would purposely screw me over, but at the same time im like, why the heck do you need to talk to them?!

[rosephase]

i personally feel that my ex's are my ex's for a reason, esp the ones with sexual attatchment. i dont talk to any of them. i dont think this guy would purposely screw me over, but at the same time im like, why the heck do you need to talk to them?!

 

SO what is up with the label thing? Do you want to be his girlfriend? Who is making the choice to keep it label free?

[Hannah13]

we didnt wanna rush into a label because it was only about a month after he broke up w his ex that we started any of this. i DO wanna be his gf, i just dont know when that will happen

[GotMyLifeBack]

If he's in a committed relationship with you, he doesn't need to be hanging around with his exes. I think the occasional phone call (every month or two) can be harmless depending on his intentions and trustworthiness.

 

You have to make a choice. Do you want to share him with his exes? If not, be clear about it with yourself. Then you have to talk to him and tell him your boundaries - that's fair - but be prepared for the possibility that he walks away.

[Day_Walker]

Considering the fact that you dont have an official title it doesnt seem to me that you can "stake" your claim to him because even though he may not be hooking up with others he can since you guys are not actually in a relationship.