What do you guys think?? [Need urgentish advice :( ]

[myonlymotive]

Hey guys!

 

So myself and 3 of my friends are moving out together. Originally it was supposed to be January, because one of their leases doesn't end until then and also because I really need some more time to save because I'm not comfortable moving out on my current finances.

 

So the other day they found the 'perfect' house and the 3 of them went on an inspection today to check it out. I couldn't go because of my sister's baby shower but they all fell in love with the place... but that's the thing.

 

It looked great from the pictures online but there's so many things I hate about it!! There are a billion windows (barely any of which have locks), the downstairs is being rented commercially, the inside and floors are nice enough but it's very much a dump- and not a very cheap dump either. The last thing is that it's next to a central train station, which means- to me- lots of loud noises all the time. It's not a bad suburb, not.. y'know.. infamous or anything- but it's not the best either.

 

And I really, really don't like it. I haven't had a chance to voice my opinion and we have an appointment with the real estate agent in two days and I really, REALLY don't want to move in there. I have a few expensive things that I worked really hard for and I'd be freaked out about break ins and the people downstairs. Also the train station, the lack of security.. I have so many hang ups about it, but they're so desperate they offered to pay my share of the rent for as long as it takes for me to save up more.

 

I'm really good friends with all these girls and they have their heart set on it.. but adskfjaslsdafdsf!! I just don't want this house.

 

The other thing is, because it's nearing the end of the study year, SO MANY people will be moving out and there will be more houses available (in about a month). SO MUCH MORE VALUE FOR MONEY TOO! I've explained this but... they don't seem to get it- and it's driving me insane that they don't see it?!

 

I really don't know what to do, I'm so stuck on this. Do I just put my foot down or go along with it or?... Please help!!!

[lavenderdove]

This is a no brainer. Just tell them you hate the house and hate the location and it won't work for you. That you understand if they want to find another third person besides you to move in with them.

 

You can still keep them as friends if you don't live with them, but you will be hating life moving into somewhere that is a bad location. They may be hating life too, as train stations are noisy, dirty, attract transients and drug users etc. And living above a commercial store means there will be all kinds of strangers tramping in and out down there too. the door opening and slamming a million times a day.

 

If you have any kind of noise problems or other dispute with the owner, the landlord will side with the commercial business because they make more money from them and know they are longer term tenants than 3 women upstairs would be.

 

Don't let them talk you into it... i think they won't be happy once they move in either...

[catfeeder]

This is the downside of opting into real estate by committee. Two scenarios I'd consider:

 

I'd tell them I'm thrilled they found what they want so early, and this leaves them plenty of time to replace me as a roommate. I wouldn't try to talk them out of something they're thrilled about, because then it's on me to find a better solution to please all of them--immediately. I also wouldn't position myself to live with anyone who might resent the others going along with my influence. That's a setup for living in hostility, and I'd rather put my money away for future options solo or find another setup with other roommates.

 

On the other hand, if living with this group is what matters to me, then I'd make it about the people instead of the place. I'd invest in making this the best possible outcome and consider the friends more important than the space. I'd invest in good locks for my windows and bedroom door, pare down the valuables I bring, maybe store the rest. Then I'd have a ball with my friends instead of shooting for 'ideals' this round.

[metrogirl]

Trust me, living close to a train station is no picnic. I live a few miles from one and I can still hear the train rumbling through in the middle of the night, imagine living that much closer to one. YIKES.

 

Personally, I wouldn't move into any house that I didn't like, especially if I was bound by a lease. Wait until the right house comes along.

[pitifulmess]

Have you tried making all of these points to them? It sounds like you're all fairly young (as am I), and I can speak from personal experience that the great notes you made aren't always things I would think of in the selection process of a new home. Mentioning the screeching train, lock-less windows, and too-close neighbors might check them back into reality.

 

Also, the three of them were together when they looked at it, so they might have just been feeding off of the group energy and getting each other excited over nothing. If you talk to them during down time or maybe even one on one, they'd be much more likely to express their real feelings if they have any that weren't in line with the decision to choose the place.

 

Ultimately, if they are your true friends and one of their priorities is to keep their promise to include you on the move, they will hear you out. One dissenting roommate with good reasons to be rejecting the house is a good enough reason to keep waiting.

[geekgirl4]

This sounds good.