jboptop Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 The breakup was 2 months ago, after a 3 year relationship. It has now been almost 2 weeks NC. I had tried not contacting her (before I knew about this site), and never made it past 2 weeks. The same thing keeps happening, where I feel okay for the first few days-1 week, then she starts creeping more and more into my thoughts. I feel it getting really bad again today. I hate Halloween, I always felt uncomfortable with her dressing... well you know how girls dress on Halloween, and going out even when we were together. Now the thought of her going out single like that makes me sick. I cannot stop thinking that she is going to call or e-mail soon, even though she wont. All day my thoughts are conversations we would have when she calls, and how we would fix things and get back together. I was doing okay for a while, I have mostly been doing all of the right break-up things but again, its starting to get worse again and I just cannot stop myself from thinking these thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzexxx Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 *hugs* i know exactly how you feel tonight, ive pretty much posted the same thing! Well done for managing two weeks without NC. I've not even managed two days in a row yet, so really thats an achievement in itself. I have the same thoughts as you, although i'm obviously worried about barely dressed girls getting his attention tonight. I also think also about what to say to him when i next see him and today ive even planned my outfit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jboptop Posted October 30, 2010 Author Share Posted October 30, 2010 it tough right now, but i have to just stick it out, i know things will get better. how long ago way the breakup? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SVSV Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 You can do it. One thing I've been trying is to think of someone else. Or heck, maybe just think of a number and count backwards for a little while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AutumnBorn Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 Jbop, two weeks is pretty good. If healing were a linear process, if step 1 to step 2 to step 3 were smooth and seamless, we'd all be happy and have let go and wouldn't need this forum. You were in a long relationship, so it's going to take time and effort to move forward. This time is for you to work on yourself, not white knuckle it. What are you doing to make personal progress? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jboptop Posted October 30, 2010 Author Share Posted October 30, 2010 Autumnborn, that is a good point, thanks for reminding me of that. She was also my first real relationship, I don't expect things to be fixed, its just frustrating to keep going in the same cycle. I know it is up to me to change it, and I am really going to stick with the not contacting her, unless she decides she wants to fix things. I know it is pretty unlikely at this point, but I can't pretend it is not possible. To make a long story short, we were living together happily for most of our relationship(3 yrs), we broke up because I recently admitted to cheating on her 2 years ago, during the first year of the relationship. To me, it seems like a situation that can be fixed. She is unwilling to try despite me saying everything possible to convince her. I think this is what is really hurting my progress, I just don't believe we should be broken up, I think we should be working through it. That being said, I have to accept at this time she is unwilling to. But like I keep repeating, I just can't pretend I know it is over, and agree it should be. I have been doing some good things, just to keep myself sane really. I have been reading, writing, and exercising. I am also in the process of finding a new job since I moved out to a new city when we broke up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lia86 Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 Jbob, I'm right there with you. Two months out of two years. It sucks! And yes, Halloween sucks. I've gone out all decked out and cute for as many years back as I can remember. I think tonight I may just have coffee with a friend and tomorrow night just stay in. I feel so BLAH. It hurts. We've hardly spoken a word since. I don't even care what he is doing or if he meets someone else because 1.) I know she won't be as good as me, and 2.) I know if it works out she'll be miserable. But that confidence doesn't change the fact that I miss him like crazy and a broken-hearted mess over all of this. It really does seem like it's getting worse sometimes. And sometimes it IS getting worse, but that's just the way the path has to go before it gets better. So even when it's getting worse, it's still getting better. This process is a nightmare. A huge pat on the back to all of us for the sheer fact that we're still even alive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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