supersquirrel Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 before you all read this... it's not that good. The suffering,by me. As I sit here in this immense heat I realize that I'm suffering Is it the heat? Or is it just life itself? Who know? No one. They don't know any thing. Nothing at all. My life is hell,cant you tell. My dad's an a butthole. And my mom's actually cool. And me I'm always in the middle. The heat only makes you hotter. But the life you live. Can last last forever. Memory's good or bad. Can last forever. Like a monkey on your back. You can't get ride of the suffering. so what do you think... I'm thinking of summiting this to a poem contest for teens, think it's good enough? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lunatic Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 I liked your poem and I thought it was amusing. If your going to submit it to a contest you might want to change the line about your dad being a butthole. Other than that it is a good read. Nice job! =D> Hubman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
under_the_pressure Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 First-don't worry if we will like it. All that matters about your poetry is that is expresses the way you feel and you feel a little better after getting it out. I liked the poem. ~Under~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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