5 year relationship down the drain...need advice

[tlong8212]

This is my first post and I just found this site and am hoping for some help...here is my story...

 

 

I went out with this girl since my senior year of high school. I treated her like a queen. I gave my life to this girl and got nothing in return but hurt. She screwed me over and lied to me on so many occasions and I just kept taking her back. No matter how bad she hurt me, I still went back. After 3 years, it all caught up to me. We broke up b/c I was way too hurt. We got back together but things just weren't the same. I'm not the same person to her anymore that I am to everyone else. I have this bitterness involuntary towards her and I can't stop it. We broke up last summer b/c she wanted to be single and she felt guilty for everything she did for me. Last summer was hell. I did nothing but cry over her and write poems for her and the whole deal. We got back together that September but like I said, things just werent the same. I could not wait for her to say those words that she wanted me back...but once I heard them I didnt want to. I knew she was only doing it b/c she felt guilty and didn't want me to hurt anymore. I was right. We broke up AGAIN this past March. It has been really hard on me...especially when I found out she is dating someone else now. I am only 22 and me and her were together for 5 years. That's a long time when you conisder its about 1/4 of my life. We still have contact with each other. I've tried to stay away and I've tried not to talk to her but I get drawn to her so easily. She also keeps me haning on by telling me how much she loves me and misses me and all this other stuff...but yet still dates this other guy. I was in her town a few weeks ago and I had just spent the night with her the previous night and she was at this kids house when I drove by, when she me and our mutual friends she was going to sleep early. It's stuff like this that just breaks my heart...there is SO MUCH more to our relationship but I wont bore any of you with it. I just need to know how to deal with this. I've tried avoiding her but she was my best friend. I am apart of her family. Her Mom still calls me, her brother refers to me as his best friend, her grandma writes me letters...its so hard. Not only did I lose her, but I lost a family too. How can I stay away when she wont cut off contact? How can I get over her when she tells me how much she loves me and can't see her life or marrying anyone else then me? Am I just wishful thinking or do you think she really means those things? I am just so confused and I know I need to move on but no girl out there has what she has over me...and I am afraid no girl ever will. I'm going out and dating other girls but no girl has come close. I would really like to take any advice anyone is willing to give...I've heart all the advice...but maybe somebody has something that I never tried...thanks all for reading..

[saltwatergirl]

I'm confused. Do you WANT to be with her? But can't get past the anger? Does she want to be with you too? Or have you decided to end it and are just having a hard time with the pain of letting go? If it's the 2nd one, I'll try to offer some words of encouragement although at the moment I'm in a big black hole of pain myself so I'm not much help.

 

If its the first one......and you really want to be together (both of you), here's my suggestion: Go get a dictionary, look up the word PRIDE. Then ask yourself which is worth more to you, your pride, or your girl. Because one of them you'll have to lose for the other.