jboptop Posted October 26, 2010 Share Posted October 26, 2010 Well today makes it 1 week of NC. I have been doing okay, it has not seemed that hard. This brings me to my concern.. I have tried NC over the past 2 months, and other times the first few days or first week have been kind of easy. When I contacted her it went so poorly and made me so desperate I felt miserable during it. However, at the end of these contacts, i always end on a "good" note. What I mean is just that I say something like "okay, I get it" and indicate I will move on. I can't help but hope that saying that combined with the NC will have her coming back to me, which obviously has not happened. I worry the first week is easy, and that as time goes on I am going to keep getting to the point where I really realize she isn't going to contact me, hit the same wall and contact her all over again. I don't really know what exactly I am saying or asking, just thought I would share anyway! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manicdogbert Posted October 26, 2010 Share Posted October 26, 2010 I'm into my third week of NC. My ex and I broke up about 2 months ago (after 6 years) but I wasn't able to move out until the beginning of October. I broke down the day after I saw him last but I've actually been fine the last 2+ weeks. I, too, was worried how easy the first week of NC was. Someone on here suggested that I was able to adjust to single life quicker than most. I really was thinking that I was going to have a hard time dealing with this and staying NC. However, yesterday, a friend of mine suggested that I thought I'd be a difficult time because that's what the "old" me (ie the person who I was before I got in my relationship with my ex) would have gone through. Basically, she said that I underestimated how much I've grown up and how mature I had gotten. I'm inclined to agree with her in that regard because I really was a miserable bast**d back then. Ha ha ha ha. Seriously though, I have had small periods of being sad and crying but for the most part, I think I'm doing okay without him. Right now, I'm seem to be going through some minor anger phases, which I think is natural and I know I won't dwell on them too long. Going NC has really allowed me to think about the relationship (both good and bad parts). Even though we broke up on somewhat good terms and we said that we would try to stay friends when we were ready, I'm having second thoughts about whether or not that could actually happen. I'm realizing that we have NOTHING in common. (Which, in retrospect, makes me wonder he we managed to stay together for 6 years.) I really don't know how we'd be able to be friends without the intimacy involved. Sorry if I babbled. Just thought I'd share what I was going through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hell_On_Heels Posted October 26, 2010 Share Posted October 26, 2010 It's normal to want to contact them during NC periods. You'll need to have something ready to stop yourself when you feel that temptation. Sometimes pride is enough, sometimes we need lists to remind us of the reasons we're in NC, and how lousy we've felt with them in the past. Whatever you think might work fo ryou, have it ready. And if you don't need it in the end, great! At least you're prepared just in case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SVSV Posted October 27, 2010 Share Posted October 27, 2010 Check in here, and we'll remind you to stay away from her. Are you finding other things to fill your time and your mind? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jboptop Posted October 27, 2010 Author Share Posted October 27, 2010 Thanks guys. I have been hanging in there- reading, some exercise, writing, job interviews.. all the stuff one is supposed to do during a break up. I have not really come close to breaking NC, but its probably mostly because I know how there is no chance I can convince her to take me back anymore. I still have dreams where she does, but it legitimately feels like I am making some progress. In the beginning, I was able to survive by forcing myself not to think about things, now I can often think about it, and then try to move on. I worry though because I felt good before and things came crashing down real quick- I started panicking and ended up contacting her. I really need to make sure that does not happen again. I do feel better as I mentioned, but I can't say I am sure I will be able to handle it if I start to feel really bad again. Right now it seems like I can, but again, can't help but worry. Thanks again guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lia86 Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 I'm realizing that we have NOTHING in common. (Which, in retrospect, makes me wonder he we managed to stay together for 6 years.) What is up with that? I am starting to realize my ex and I didn't have a whole lot in common either. I think for the first year we were so into each other it just seemed that way. But the two of us at our core, most natural personalities, are really nothing at all alike. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manicdogbert Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 What is up with that? I am starting to realize my ex and I didn't have a whole lot in common either. I think for the first year we were so into each other it just seemed that way. But the two of us at our core, most natural personalities, are really nothing at all alike. Well, the thing is with my relationship, we were both aware that we didn't have anything in common. I think we just stayed together because we liked being with each other. For me, I think I chose to believe the whole "opposites attract" thing as well. But, yeah, looking back, we really didn't have anything in common except for sex and our love of Hawaii. Ha ha ha ha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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