Oneironaut Posted October 20, 2010 Share Posted October 20, 2010 I just found out today that my long-distance ex-boyfriend put a personals ad in his local paper looking for "Friends, Sexual Encounters" WHILE WE WERE STILL TOGETHER... Quick timeline: We hooked up in January of 2009. I flew to his city and met him in October of 2009. He broke up with me on August 7, 2010, saying he'd been having the urge to flirt with other women, and didn't want to cheat on me, among other reasons (we'd been fighting a lot, and he was tired of that). He placed the personals ad in May of 2010. I just don't know what to do...he was emotionally abusive and I'd already decided a few days ago that I need to work hard towards moving on...then today I got bored, and surfed Google for an unusual nickname that he uses...that's how I found the ad. I was thinking about simply sending him the link on AIM, and nothing else. But my friends so far recommend not saying a word, and just cutting him out of my life entirely. Considering that he swore up and down that he would never, ever cheat on me, I feel the need to let him know I caught him in a LIE...but at the same time, I also think maybe it would be better to walk away without another word. Opinions, please? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted October 20, 2010 Share Posted October 20, 2010 I agree with your friends. If he does reply he is likely to say something hurtful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dancingcolors Posted October 20, 2010 Share Posted October 20, 2010 What would it prove? It would jst open a can of worms and hurt you. It is over between you, and the past. Listen to your friends. Don't contact him, or look for his name anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oneironaut Posted October 20, 2010 Author Share Posted October 20, 2010 Sorry about the infraction, I was feeling highly emotional...I'm calming down now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted October 20, 2010 Share Posted October 20, 2010 have you been tested for STDs? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oneironaut Posted October 20, 2010 Author Share Posted October 20, 2010 No, I have not, and yes, we had unprotected sex. /headdesk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted October 20, 2010 Share Posted October 20, 2010 Let the "past" stay in the past. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted October 20, 2010 Share Posted October 20, 2010 No, I have not, and yes, we had unprotected sex. /headdesk i would get yourself checked out for STDs. if you have something (and you haven't had sex with anyone else) i would keep those ads as proof in case you want to sue him in the future. just my take. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted October 20, 2010 Share Posted October 20, 2010 Instead of confronting him, why not treat yourself to something special and celebrate the fact that you are no longer with this abusive, sneaky snake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted October 20, 2010 Share Posted October 20, 2010 Don't confront him....really, think about this, what are you hoping to gain for confronting him? He's probably going to get angry and say something hurtful. He's not going to go "ohhh d'awwww I'ma sorry." NO GOOD can come out of you confronting him. Don't do it. Think of it this way, he was emotionally abusive AND he was cheating on you. You really dodged a bullet on this one. You deserve so much better. I'd get yoursself tested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oneironaut Posted October 20, 2010 Author Share Posted October 20, 2010 Yeah...I've been thinking, and talking to friends...this really hit me hard...but, to heck with confronting him. We were long-distance, and I think he just couldn't take it anymore, but didn't really have the courage to dump me yet, for whatever reason. He has a terrible history in general, with women, family, and what-not, so I think it's just better to simply sigh, vow to never be taken in like this again, and walk away with my head held high. It's going to continue hurting for a while, and it'll be some time before I can trust a man again, but in the meantime, I need to heal whatever it was in myself that allowed me to not only stay in an abusive relationship for so long, but has actually caused me to want him back so desperately. Sorry again for the infraction, I was seeing red and not thinking clearly. Thanks to everyone for your replies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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