When break up love turns to hate and hopelessness...Why?

[hshot_rooke]

I've only posted a couple of times, but the long and short of my story is that I neglected and hurt my GF of 2.5 years. She was the perfect girlfriend. I thought I needed some space and broke it off with her. It was a mistake because we were almost perfect together and I never realized that I loved her so much until I found out that she was gone for good. I tried to get her back but she said no. I blame myself for all the problems in the relationship.

 

She's now seeing another guy and won't speak to me or see me.

 

For the past month, I've done nothing but think of her and what could have been. Cried a lot, haven't slept, eaten or worked properly for the last month.

 

Today though, the feelings of pity for myself have subsided it seems like. The love for her now seems to have subsided as well, being replaced by a little bit of hate and hopelessness.

 

If I feel like this now, then she must have felt like this when I broke it off with her. Meaning that there is a little bit of hate in her heart for me. Also that the love she felt for me has subsided as well. Which means there's almost no chance for us to get back together.

 

I'll always love her I know because she was my first GF and lover.

I'm glad that the pain I'm feeling is starting to subside, but part of me doesn't want the pain to go because it means I'm starting to let her go.

The other part of me wants her back so badly.

[sisterlynch]

It seems to me that our brain gets into the habit of doing things a certain way then when that changes, it is very difficult for us to respond properly because we were so used to our brain thinking one way, we must make an effort to break out of our habits of thinking.

 

You feel bad that she left you and that is understandable, the more quickly you can move forward, the healthier for your brain to react to new stimulation.

 

It is good to have the support of others around you, let your emotions out occasionally. We are all here to support you, like others have supported us in times of need!

 

This is another thing that I had to learn when my dad died. The amount of love that you showed the person while they were here is the only love that is possible. You cannot love a person who has harmed you by leaving you. You need to give up on ideas of continuing the relationship with her, she has chosen another path and the quicker you think that way the better you'll feel.

[osewa77]

These, apparently, are just the stages you have to go through in breaking up. Apparently you wish to have the process reversed but as long as the other guy is treating her well enough ...

[Gilgamesh]

like Osewa77 wrote, you are going through the different stages of the healing process,

 

sorrow, sadness, anger and fear.

 

not necessarily in that order.

 

its good to feel all those emotions, and then let them go, this will heal your heart to love again.

 

When we repress one or more of these emotions, it will make it impossible to love completely and to give yourself completely to the future woman in your life.

 

learn from the mistakes you have made, write them all down, think of her mistakes, write them down.

 

its good to sort it all out.