Army Posted July 10, 2004 Share Posted July 10, 2004 Last night i had a dream... We were both laying in the sand by the lake. The sunset was beautiful but it was nothing compared to how beautiful you looked. We must have layed there for hours just gazing into each others eyes. Then i started to storke your hair, and we both moved in about to kiss... Then i hear "STEPHEN WAKE UP" and i relize it was all a dream, but i wish it could be real. Tell me what you think about and can you give me any mistakes or anything to help it thxs to everyone that helps. i no its short but its my firstone EVER!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duderanomi Posted July 11, 2004 Share Posted July 11, 2004 Aside from the typos, I think you're on the right track. I think all poetry should rhyme though, makes it sooooo much more fun. Seriously though, you need to organize your poem into stanzas and such, can't just write it as paragraphs or else it has no rhythm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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