Philabonia Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Ive been on here a few months now; check my related, insanely rambling posts about my ex. Man, its been one hell of a ride so far. Life has TOTALLY changed, more than I could ever dream. 6 months ago I was living with my fiance and we were talking about our life together. Now, I live in a completely different city, doing something completely different, and have not had any contact with her for over a month...until today. I called her, to check up on where the security deposit for our old apt. was. She didnt pick up, but texted me that she was at work (not sure I believe that...). I asked her what is up with the check, and we ended up swapping texts for a while. Turns out, she's moved out of her parents place, and in with a new guy. My heart stopped. But, I have learned to use my head over these past few months, and kept my cool. I let it roll off my back like water. I think she was a little surprised. Anyways, she's taking a job in Connecticut soon. This, after telling me only 2 months ago that she was moving to Europe. The women obviously has no idea what to do with her life - shes looking for something, but what that is, I do not know. I think that letting her know that I received the check will be the last time I contact her. Its all too obvious that shes lost. Do I still miss her? Like crazy - but I have learned to cope. Some days are hard, but its getting better. I can speak to her, and keep my cool. I act decent, almost chivalrous. I show her the best side of me I can. I dont do this for her - though I hold out hope that maybe one day she will come to her senses, I do this for me. I can move forward knowing that the guilt I had for my past misdeeds can be replaced by growing from my mistakes. If she ever comes back, I will be better, but I also will be better for who comes next. Part of me just wants to email her everything I'm thinking, or send that 7 page letter I wrote a few months back. I stop myself from doing this, because I think of it as acting weak. I've already done that, and it got me nowhere. Now, I approach it with a strong mind. I firmly believe that the emotions follow the outlook, so I try to stay positive and forward-moving. She no longer has control over me, though I do still care. I believe I always will. I truly did love her. Its sad the way things are, but I know that no matter what happens, I will be a better person bc of what I've learned from handling her crazy reaction to our break-up. I guess we all need a super-callous ex to teach us to handle our emotions, just like we need a heartbreak to teach us empathy. Just keep on rollin my friends... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Seeker Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 This sux. Today is 3 month and our anniversary would have today. My ex wanted to live in Europe someday. Ugh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunday2010 Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 all the best mate.. 5 and half for me... wow a rollercoaster ride of crap.... keep on truckin... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Philabonia Posted October 15, 2010 Author Share Posted October 15, 2010 Ya man, I actually get a kick out of how callous she is. I'll be the absolute nicest man in the world to her whenever we speak; Ill ask how her family is doing, how life is, and thank her for anything she has done (say happy birthday to my sister, return some stuff, etc.), and she always responds back with "no problem," or "sure thing" - it used to hurt, but now its kind of comical. She's trying so hard to act indifferent. I know she doesnt care like she used to, but c'mon...its getting kind of ridiculous when you pretend to feel nothing...such a shame, in the long run...reminds me of that song "You'll Think Of Me," by Keith Urban. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Seeker Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 Ya man, I actually get a kick out of how callous she is. I'll be the absolute nicest man in the world to her whenever we speak; Ill ask how her family is doing, how life is, and thank her for anything she has done (say happy birthday to my sister, return some stuff, etc.), and she always responds back with "no problem," or "sure thing" - it used to hurt, but now its kind of comical. She's trying so hard to act indifferent. I know she doesnt care like she used to, but c'mon...its getting kind of ridiculous when you pretend to feel nothing...such a shame, in the long run...reminds me of that song "You'll Think Of Me," by Keith Urban. Your lucky ex I'm jealous. You'll Think of Me. Good song! I wonder if my ex is thinking of me since today is our annivesary date. Memories of Us by Keith Urban is good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Seeker Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 double post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Philabonia Posted October 15, 2010 Author Share Posted October 15, 2010 Your lucky ex I'm jealous. You'll Think of Me. Good song! I wonder if my ex is thinking of me since today is our annivesary date. Id like to think so, but who knows what the hell they are thinking. I'm starting to believe they convince themselves they are right, and move on from that point. Note that I am having a good day today - give it a few days, or for something bad to happen, and I'll be right back where I was. But, I've noticed that I'm having more and more of these "strong" days - definite sign that I'm healing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Seeker Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 Id like to think so, but who knows what the hell they are thinking. I'm starting to believe they convince themselves they are right, and move on from that point. Note that I am having a good day today - give it a few days, or for something bad to happen, and I'll be right back where I was. But, I've noticed that I'm having more and more of these "strong" days - definite sign that I'm healing... LOL I'm having trouble getting rid of the anniversary date then anything else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Philabonia Posted October 15, 2010 Author Share Posted October 15, 2010 Yaa...I made SURE I had something to do at every moment on that day...literally, the moment I stopped doing something, I immediately thought of her...it was hard. But believe me, the farther you get past that day, the better you get. Of course, the first year out is going to involve a lot of road bumps (birthdays, holidays, etc. etc.), but it def. gets easier over time. BTW - this is my first trip through "hell" from a relationship - I was in a 5 yr. one before this...so I have a little perspective. The one thing I can say, though, is that it gets worse as you get older, because you feel like you live and learn, only to realize how little you actually know. You try to correct past mistakes, but when you do it all over again, you feel twice as badly, not only for letting them down, but yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Seeker Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 LOL This is my first breakup. Oh yeah the birthdays, and holidays. Greeeaaat. 5 year?! Whoa! Jealous of your ex again. Thank you for your wisdom. I really do appreciate it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Philabonia Posted October 15, 2010 Author Share Posted October 15, 2010 Sure thing. The greatest piece of advice I ever got for times like this was "you wouldn't arm wrestle with a broken arm, why would you trust decisions of passion to a broken heart?" - always think with your noggin when the heart is not quite ticking right. That, and always play it cool. That doesnt mean lie or pretend to be something your not, but to simply not act rash. Just go with the flow, and be the best person you can be. You will always win in the long run. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Seeker Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 Sure thing. The greatest piece of advice I ever got for times like this was "you wouldn't arm wrestle with a broken arm, why would you trust decisions of passion to a broken heart?" - always think with your noggin when the heart is not quite ticking right. That, and always play it cool. That doesnt mean lie or pretend to be something your not, but to simply not act rash. Just go with the flow, and be the best person you can be. You will always win in the long run. Cheers! That's very true! Thanks for the quote! Saving it in my quote book! You are definitely a philosopher. Thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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