nothingontheinside Posted July 8, 2004 Share Posted July 8, 2004 I wrote this poem in a lyrical format with one refrain after every two verses, don't know how it works like that but I tried it anyway! My first upbeat poem in a long time... Please tell me what you think. This poem is dedicated to a girl who I care very much about and I'm trying to show her that the light at the end of the tunnel is not a train but the sun. Hold your chin up baby Keep your head up high And think that just maybe It is all right to cry Place your head right here upon my shoulder And rest your hand here in mine The world seems as if it is getting colder When really it's just fine Sometimes life deals us cards that we don't like But you'll have to move on and forget it Even when it feels like you're just waiting for the bad guy to strike But remember you can never quit Hold your chin up baby Keep your head up high And think that just maybe It is all right to cry I will hold you until everything feels okay If that means I'll be holding you forever its fine with me And since I'm here ill kiss you along the way Baby you're as beautiful as can be I'll kiss your face where the teardrops once fell And wipe away the bad feelings in your heart And you can crawl out of your protective shell And you can do anything again from the start Hold your chin up baby Keep your head up high And think that just maybe It is all right to cry It's all right to cry Lay your head on my lap And cry Cry Let the teardrops fall Let go And cry Tell me honestly what you think Love, Ness Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tombo123 Posted July 8, 2004 Share Posted July 8, 2004 thats a really touching poem whats happening to your friend? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PunkPyro912 Posted July 8, 2004 Share Posted July 8, 2004 Its a good poem/song. I bet if you add a soft accoustic rthym to it, it would be even 10 times better. Even though the song is good as it is. Nice Job =D> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tombo123 Posted July 8, 2004 Share Posted July 8, 2004 gd idea!!! =D> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_hate_the_world47 Posted July 8, 2004 Share Posted July 8, 2004 That was amazing.Keep uop the writing u have talent. Meagan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nothingontheinside Posted July 9, 2004 Author Share Posted July 9, 2004 someone asked whats happening to my friend. well the same thing thats happeneing to me really. she cuts, and i do aswell, but her mom just found out. im tryin so hard to get her to stop cutting because shes only been doing it for about 3 months, i on the other hand have been for about 2 years, and i care about her so much. also shes been having problems with her best friend and such... oh yes and her mom just found out that shes bisexual, dont know how shes taken it yet though. my mom found out about my sexuality only about 2 months ago... maybe 1... dunno... didnt take it well... bought books to teach me to be straight (i laugh) okay so goin back onto track about my friend... she is just goin through A LOT... oh yes and her best friends dad just died. hehe not too great. i dunno she worries me a lot and i love her with my whole heart. i dont know what to do, i want to help dig her out of her hole but at the same time im digging my own hole... i want to show her that the light at the end of the tunnel is the sun, not a train but i myself dont know, it could be another lost person like us with a flashlight (lucky soab)... i dont know cuz ive never been there. im so confused! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tombo123 Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 Ness.. this is a beautiful talent you have.. keep it going!! See, the more you do poetry, the better! Keep it up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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