sherryberrypie Posted March 25, 2011 Author Share Posted March 25, 2011 Well Alex has decided not to take the job for noble reasons, but I am ticked. I am also heartbroken. I'm sick of hearing how he would do anything to make things move faster, etc... I just want to scream that he has that chance now, and he is not taking it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 Honestly I would be frustrated as well. I mean, I understand noble reasons and all but didn't you say there is no guarantee with this company getting off the ground? What will he do then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 Grrr - I understand the frustration. It is obviously a very difficult choice for him if he feels such a strong loyalty towards them and I guess he doesn't want the responsibility for the start up crashing down.. but .. yeah I come from a world where firms are never loyal to you so you'd never be loyal to the firm. They'd get rid of you in an instant if it suited their bottom line - so if you get opportunities elsewhere you take them. But it sounds very different where he works. This is really frustrating for you though Its hard to be in this spot - you can't yell at him because its his decision but its upsetting that you won't be able to fast track things as much. Bah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted March 25, 2011 Author Share Posted March 25, 2011 I'm utterly miserable right now. He said if the company did fail then he would go and work for the city... there are very few techs here and so they are in demand. I understand his reasons for not taking it, and they make a lot of sense, but I just keep thinking about how everything COULD be. His promises and his words mean very little to me right now, and he just keeps telling me to have faith. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 Actions speak louder than words. He can say have faith in me and yes, we are building this life together but his actions aren't saying that's what he wants. Not saying per say he doesn't want it but yeah... you know what I"m getting at. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted March 25, 2011 Author Share Posted March 25, 2011 Thing is, a lot of people would get hurt if he went to the "other side"-- the side that is trying to recruit him is literally their enemy. He also said that his boss definitely panicked when he told them what had been going on with the city offering him a job and whatnot. The company is a subsidiary of another company that has been successful for 21 years. That and with his current position, he gets to be the boss, he gets to design and create and bring it to life. He gets to be right in the centre of everything. With the other job, he'd just be a minion, monitoring and doing the same thing day after day. There are so many reasons, but all I can think is that those reasons are for everybody else, not for us. Obviously I want him to be happy and I am so glad he is so happy with where he is at, but I just can't swallow my disappointment right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 I'm utterly miserable right now. He said if the company did fail then he would go and work for the city... there are very few techs here and so they are in demand. I understand his reasons for not taking it, and they make a lot of sense, but I just keep thinking about how everything COULD be. His promises and his words mean very little to me right now, and he just keeps telling me to have faith. Hold tight.. Maybe the health issues contribute to the decision too? There could be all kind of reasons why him feeling vulnerable healthwise might play into a decision to not want to appear disloyal and not wanting to change things up. I don't know - I completely understand the misery and you have every right to feel utterly disappointed right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 You know, he's probably thinking "delay short term gratification for long term reward - for me And sherry".. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted March 25, 2011 Author Share Posted March 25, 2011 I'm glad you ladies understand because I really do feel like a cow about it all. I should add that his current boss is paying him for full days that he did not work--there have been a few days where he only worked 3 or 4 hours because he was so exhausted, but he is being paid as though he was there all day. His boss said that if there is something wrong healthwise, he doesn't want us to have to worry about money. Right there I can understand his reasoning and I realize that I am lucky to be with someone who has such strong morals. I was just looking forward to a bit of instant gratification. Yes, he doesn't feel like he is up to the stress of a big change either. At any rate, I told him that just like his goal was to have a house by 24, my goal is to be at least engaged by 26, and him turning down this job makes that very unlikely because we just cannot save. He knows my dream, he's working towards it, we'll find out in a couple of weeks what is going on with him, and things can get back to normal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted March 25, 2011 Author Share Posted March 25, 2011 You know, he's probably thinking "delay short term gratification for long term reward - for me And sherry".. That's exactly what he said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 It would def. be hard. One of the reasons I'm moving to England is that 'instant gratification'. L could never make here what he makes there so it makes more sense for me to move there even though I have the stronger family connection. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted March 25, 2011 Author Share Posted March 25, 2011 Meeting up with a friend for post-emotional breakdown ice cream. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted March 25, 2011 Author Share Posted March 25, 2011 I guess the jist of it is I allowed myself to dream and imagine all the possibilities, and it was kind of ripped away. Life is so disappointing sometimes. Yesterday: Breakfast- maple nut oatmeal crisp Lunch- lamb pita with greek salad Dinner- remaining greek salad orange juice some orange blueberry danish Snack- some trail mix Then there was a late night small sized chocolate/peanut butter ice cream This morning I burned 312 calories in 32 minutes on the elliptical! I worked very hard and got very sweaty, and I feel accomplished. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted March 26, 2011 Author Share Posted March 26, 2011 Yesterday I went to a thrift store-- got some curtains, a painting to hang in the bedroom, and I found this really cool antique model/toy plane that I picked up for Alex. Turns out he doesn't think much of knick-knacks, but I think it's neat because it's handpainted, solid metal, and both of the props and wheels spin. I got it for $1.99, and maybe that's all it's worth, but I like to believe that it's a treasure Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 Oohh - the antique model plane sounds awesome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted March 26, 2011 Author Share Posted March 26, 2011 We have noisy cats. Moe was actually good, but Java wailed all morning. I'd get her a kitten or something, but she might hate it, and really, I don't want another cat. Okay, well I do, but Alex does not. We don't really have the space for three cats...not the way these two take up space. Last night a bunch of us went out for a birthday dinner to a pizza/pasta place. Best lasagna ever. Best salad ever too! Afterwards, we all came back to the friends house for cake (two kinds) and movies. He wanted everyone to drink a bit and have a late night, but I was so tired and sitting and watching movies does not help. Alex told everyone his decision and his friends thought he was nuts too, but then when he explained that he could be CEO within a few years, they changed their tune. Just watching him talking shop with the other guys made me so proud of him. He's so smart and handsome and truly passionate about his field Gym this morning and then I have massages scheduled for the two of us. Then I have to go to work and be evaluated again. So sick of this. I thought it would be a laid-back place to work, but there are so many rules! I wish I knew what was going on with school so I could apply for a full-time job for the summer. There is now a lawsuit involved...can't help but think we're NOT going back. *fingers crossed that we are* Yesterday: Brunch- 2 boiled eggs, half bagel toasted with marg tall glass of milk Snack- apple Dinner- salad, lasagna, cake for dessert. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted March 26, 2011 Author Share Posted March 26, 2011 Reached my goal at the gym- 320 cals in 30 minutes. It was harder this morning since I hadn't had breakfast. After that Alex and I went and got massaged. It was the first time for both of us, and it felt sooo good. I didn't know I was supposed to completely strip down. Felt a bit like a prude LOL. After that I was officially starving, so we went to this new BBQ restaurant and chowed down on pulled pork, BBQ chicken, cornbread...all kinds of yummies. Too bad I have to go to work. I'm feeling so sleepy and relaxed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted March 27, 2011 Author Share Posted March 27, 2011 Today: Breakfast- granola bar thing Lunch- BBQ Dinner- vegetarian dal stew with basmati rice Dessert- fruit salad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 Woohoo on keeping up with the food! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted March 27, 2011 Author Share Posted March 27, 2011 I think I'm doing pretty well. While we were eating lunch Alex pointed out that one bite of lunch was probably equal to my workout (jerk) LOL. I'm not going to starve myself because then I won't have energy to work out! I think I overdid dinner. I wasn't really all that hungry, but I ate the whole 250 gram pack of rice and a 550 gram fruit salad. At least it was fruit... I don't want to get all anal retentive and obsessive about grams and calories and such. I hope what I am doing now will pay off because it's really nice allowing myself to have treats when I want to. I used to calorie-count, but I'm so over all that. I officially need to job hunt... going to apply at a call-centre. I work 6 days this week, and I will only come away with $175 dollars :S. If I had eight hour shifts, I'd have made over $400. I need to find something better so I can contribute to the household too. It's tough though because I can't go and apply for a full-time summer job there because I don't know when school will be back in, if it does come back in. It's been two full weeks already, and things are just getting worse, so I really don't know what to think at this point. The other night when we were having the fight from hell, Alex let it slip that he tried to design a ring for me. He never fails to amaze me. I didn't know that he even knew that could be done! It's nice to distract myself from all that is going on with thoughts of what he views as the perfect ring for me. I know we're going to get engaged this summer, so now I am finally able to just enjoy the last few months of being bf/gf. He insists that everyone he knows well calls me his wife, but everyone I know still calls him my boyfriend (one friend says hubby-bubby) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 What fight from hell? Am I slipping? lol I don't count either. I still have bad foods but I'm watching how much I have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted March 27, 2011 Author Share Posted March 27, 2011 The other night. It was so bad. We don't fight, so any real conflict is heart-wrenching. I consider us very lucky to have such a calm relationship. I get ticked off easily, but he has calmed me so much. His sister finally broke it off with her long-term, live-in bf because they were always in a fight, and neither of them could handle the stress of constantly battling anymore. I always wondered how they stayed sane. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 L and I fight occasionally. Oh we will have those silly spats over stupid things but real fighting, like we did earlier in the week, is rare. Maybe once or twice every six months. That was the furthest one of our fights went and it was just so emotional. And I"m like you, I get ticked off easily and to add to that when I'm mad, I KNOW what will hurt the most and I say it. Like our last argument, I compared us to me and my ex... yeah. Not good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted March 27, 2011 Author Share Posted March 27, 2011 Only things we have ever really fought about: 1. Money-- way in the past now 2. Marriage 3. My depression-- which is thankfully under control! I don't mention the ex anymore, it just makes Alex feel bad about all the crap I had to deal with. I don't intentionally say something hurtful, but Alex gets hurt fairly easily. He'll try to pry something out of me that I don't want to say, and when I finally do say it, he gets that "stomped on puppy dog look". Like, for him, this house represented a big commitment between us, but for me it doesn't because we are at the same level of commitment that we were when we were renting. Bank account has been joint for a couple of years now, etc... That really hurt him and he got it into his head that nothing makes me "happy." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 I make L feel like that a lot, that he can't make me 'happy' but he does! I just don't understand how he gets it... I mean, obviously when we are arguing I'm not in the best of moods, of course I'm not going to be happy. I do moan a lot I suppose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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