Circe Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 Oh yes, I had checked that site out. Apparently some of those companies are selling glorified cz's for 100x the price so I'm a little bit wary, but still considering telling Alex about that alternative. *drool* link removed It's #24 Do you mean the square shaped one? That's gorgeous - very elegant. If you pay an extra 100 - they give you a certificate - and then you can get it independently verified that it's not a cz. If you were going to pay close to $1000 I think getting the certificate would be worthwhile for peace of mind.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted February 27, 2011 Author Share Posted February 27, 2011 Mm hmm that's an asscher cut. I've loved them since I was a girl. I'd just like the smallest size, almost a carat is still very big in my eyes. I'd be happy with a half carat, but for that price, why not? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 Exactly! I wish I'd known about this sort of thing two years ago! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted February 27, 2011 Author Share Posted February 27, 2011 It's sooo much more important for us to continue to grow a savings cushion, be able to travel a bit, have a little wedding. I do not ever want us to feel broke and know that it's because of the ring on my finger that could have gone to much better things. (btw, diamonds in jewellery stores are crap for the most part). Actually, my manager the other day was freaking out that she was broke... but she's wearing thousands of dollars in gold and diamonds on her finger. I felt bad for her and realized that I would never want to be 'put out' by a trinket. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 Oh absolutely - if we'd paid the same amount for a diamond at a chain store it would have been a much more.. elaborate ring (rather than my half carot - round shaped one on a completely plain, thin white gold band) which just goes to show that - as far as the 4 Cs go - most of the rocks in most stores are pretty crap. And even then they are over priced. We got ours at a store owned by the uncle of one of my H's closest friends. The ring we picked was priced at $5k (and as I said - just half a carot, but high "quality" - whatever that means - its just a pretty rock at the end of the day - and very plain and simple) - not on sale or anything and he immediately took $3,000 off the price so all we paid was 2k. Just shows what the mark up is.. And one of our married friends (with a ring more than 50K on her finger) were telling us the other day how they had been looking for homes and just couldn't afford them and saying stuff like "how does anyone afford them these days" and my H and I just politely shut up but we were both thinking - "by not blowing 50k on jewellry for a start.." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted February 27, 2011 Author Share Posted February 27, 2011 OMG! $50,000?! I think some people just don't get it. I will be stoked if I can get Alex to consider a faux diamond (something tells me he may balk at that) but when you think about it, $600+ is still a large sum in the grand scheme of life. That used to be our rent money LOL! That's a great deal to have $3000 taken off the price of your ring. It must be a really nice clarity, etc... How do you feel about the ring in general now? I know some women who just get sick and tired of banging the stone on things and replace it with their wedding ring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted February 27, 2011 Author Share Posted February 27, 2011 OG- I just took another look at your dream ring, and realized that the cluster of stones is just like the one that I have been "visiting." link removed Everytime I see it, and put it on, my heart flutters. But, I wonder if I would like a cluster setting less as life goes on Obviously you like the style too though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 Yeah - I know.. the mark up on this stuff is insane. And as for the $50k + ring - yeah - he got it from Tiffanys so that would have had a really big mark up for the brand. But - that's not abnormal for the people around us who have been getting engaged and married - it's pretty much the norm. It amazes me too but its become a "must" for a lot of them. I don't think they see it as a waste - I think the men see it as a status thing and .. I don't know what the women think but they certainly don't object and I know many expect it. (I don't think this particular girl would have wanted, demanded or expected it - but its what she got because even the men have bought into thinking this is what has to be done). I'm of two minds about my ring. Sometimes I just love the sparkle and wouldnt swap it - other times I get bored and wish engagement rings didn't come with a culture of "must wear forever" because I'd rather not wear it every day and I'd love to mix and match my wedding band with other rings if I could. Other times I really just don't want to wear anything but my wedding band - but my wedding band is really thin (designed to "match" with my engagement ring) so if I don't have another ring next to it - it looks reeeeaaaaally weird. It doesn't quite look like a ring. And - luckily - the "your diamond is so small" comments seem to have stopped now. I can't help but let them annoy me - because there's just nothing I can say. I can't say "yeah cause spending a fortune on something bigger would have been a completely stupid move" because that's insulting to them and while I know they are being insulting to me - I can't exactly do it back. I don't know why it annoys me so much but I guess I'm just not used to it. I've never had people speak to me that way or act all condescending towards me for any reason before (unless they were a judge in court - and then that's their job!! ha) and getting it so often with this ring has really upset me. It's one of the reasons I wish we'd gone with that massive flower shaped thing with the really tiny diamond in the centre! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted February 27, 2011 Author Share Posted February 27, 2011 People can be so cruel and silly! I'm sorry that they made you feel bad in any way... so rude! The flower ring would have been the same story: "Oh..how unique. Where is the diamond? Because you don't have a ridiculously large ring you can be in school without worrying about money, you and your H can go out for dinner and wine like you love to do, and most importantly, you get to go on a long vacation before settling down comfortably with children (if you are so blessed!) I'm honestly not worried about what other people think. I have small hands that luckily rock smaller stones. There is just such an odd status quo about these things. I had an e-ring before that was a tiny peridot surrounded by two small diamonds on a thin gold band. People were so awkward about it that it made me love it a little less, so I can relate. That $50 K thing still has me floored. That would pay off most of our combined student loans. Oh, to each their own I guess! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 Oh so true.. it would have been "but.. didn't he get you a diamond ring?? Does this count as a real engagement?" No - I agree - I know we are blessed. But you know if a big ring makes them happy so be it. We spend too much on certain things that make us happy - they can do the same. I agree about the ridiculousness of some of those ring prices - I should be used to it because it's been happening without exception (and while I don't know the price of more than a handful that the girls have been quite open about - the size of the others - the glare from the sparkle would knock you out ) - so I should be used to it but I'm not. I'm floored too. But maybe if you were more of a jewellry person.. I don't know. It's not that I don't like jewellry I just.. maybe being brought up with such little money the thought of throwing money away on decorations gives me a mini heart attack. One birthday he got me a necklace - .. now he's a massive James Bond fan and loves Casino Royale.. so he went and got me the algerian love knot that Vesper wears - but he got one by the lady who actually designed the one for the movie - I've forgotten her name now - but it came in a box with the details (including the price in pounds). To be honest I was a bit gutted. It was so overpriced. I loved it - its gorgeous - but the price made me love it less (more than what we spent on the e-ring) and the gold bits were plated - which freaks me out because it cost so much but its not even gold so it could get damaged with wear. Don't get me wrong - love it and love the thought - but the price made me feel more stressed than happy. Especially when there are like 1000 versions of the same thing that cost a tiny fraction of the price. I just don't want to spend money on that stuff. That stuff brings me about 2 seconds of joy when I see it for the first time - and that's really it. On the other hand - dinners out - make my life. That's what brings me happiness. And I know people say that they should know your taste in jewellry etc - but because I never had much jewelry to begin with and don't shop for it - he doesn't. And I don't really have a "taste". As long as its not too gaudy and too yellow I like it all.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 OG- I just took another look at your dream ring, and realized that the cluster of stones is just like the one that I have been "visiting." link removed I do. Normally I'm not into cluster but there was something about that ring... it was the first one he ever sent me - so he picked it out all by himself - and I remember my jaw dropping. I think what I really love about it is it looks like a star in the middle and the way the band twists, it looks like two bands but it's one. Of course it only means I'd have to have a special wedding band made so it would fit flush to the e ring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 I love jewlery and 50,000 on a ring is ridiculous. I know some people who spend that on weddings and I"m like 0.o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted February 27, 2011 Author Share Posted February 27, 2011 That's like this one. The website picture honestly does it no justice. In real life it looks like a 1 CT super sparkly solitaire. I had to look at it under a loupe to see the "cluster". I'd be thrilled if we could pull off a $3,000 wedding. I've got crafty friends, photographer friends, a university culinary program at my uni... lots of ways to cut costs and save for an amazing honeymoon (He's requested a Med. cruise) Okay so us students are all still sitting on our hands waiting to see if the faculty are going to strike. Rumor has it that about 82% voted YES to a strike. The article about it is due on Weds, but we won't know until the Friday, so I think I am just going to tell the design team that it will be a certain number of words with a photo, and to save space. Too bad I'm not psychic. This would be the worst possible time for a strike. We have 6 weeks to go until the end of the semester! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted February 28, 2011 Author Share Posted February 28, 2011 Busy day at work today! I feel pretty sleepy. Hopefully morning class won't feel so early tomorrow. I can't believe "that" was reading break. My article about the staff strike has been featured on the national university newswire Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 This wedding will cost us about... hm, $2,000 I beieve. I haven't set down and figured everything out. It can be done, most def. That's a reason we went with a ring I could see and try on here - our dream ring is over there in the UK - and CS wanted me to see it in person before we bought it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted February 28, 2011 Author Share Posted February 28, 2011 Good grades!! The global studies exam I was dreading- B Media studies news article- A Feature article- A- Along with a featured article on the newswire, I'm feeling pretty good about myself! Two assignments due on Wednesday, not too worried about them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alezia Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 I think 600$ is a resonable price for an engagement or wedding ring - it's exactly what my bf paid for mine too. The central diamond is on the small side but it`s balanced with the side diamonds. I'm the one with the smallest diamond of all our friends, yet we're the couple with highest income. I feel it's all about appareances anyways. One of my friends DEMANDED a 10K$ engagement ring. It's gorgeous indeed, but seems like a total waste of money. I would never feel entitled to a diamond ring, it's so low. In perspective, you will probably find the 600$ like a very reasonable compromise in quality-price. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted March 1, 2011 Author Share Posted March 1, 2011 This is going to be long... Oh my gosh ladies, I just went through the biggest emotional upheaval/balancing out ever. I feel exhausted now! So I have been researching gemstones and ethics/environmental impacts for a research article due at the end of the semester. Alex and I got into talking about diamonds, lab-created, etc... and he clearly stated his preference for Canadian diamonds, not the lab made kind. So, I searched Canadian diamonds to find out about the business practices, and I wound up checking prices, etc... to see what the difference was. I found an asscher cut at a great deal, asked him if he wanted to see it. He said "not really." Cue my heart smashing into a million pieces because he has no interest in going to stores with me, or looking for himself. I kept it together until I was alone, but he came in and saw me crying and knew instantly what it was about. After a long time, we discovered that the wedding itself has been forefront at his mind. He KNOWS we can't have the kind of wedding we both deserve and will appreciate at this point in time. He wants a classy affair, not outrageous, but special and to not have to whittle down a guest list to nothing for budgets' sake. In his words, he wants to give me the wedding I deserve. (swoon) Years ago, we agreed that a long engagement is not a good idea. I had since changed my mind but had never told him that or admitted it to myself, because it's important to him. So we talked it out because I was really getting stressed at the thought of us waiting ANOTHER 3 years or so to actually get engaged so we can have a year to plan a wedding. I told him that I really can't do that, but I have to know that he is okay with having a longer engagement, and he said that he is completely happy with that and that we can get engaged anytime. He was just worried that I would be unhappy with a long engagement. I told him, it's not the wedding that I want, it's at least being engaged, taking that next step. I said it feels ridiculous at this point to be putting off engagement just so we can do everything "right" (one year engagement to plan). I mean, look at it this way, I'm accomplishing goals, I'm rocking life right now, everything is good, but this is driving me INSANE. I said, we met young, things are different for us, and we're not going to be able to have that ideal scenario. Nothing is ideal anyways, and he agreed. He was just really worried about me getting antsy for a wedding like I have been for a proposal. I said, look at it this way, we will have 2 years (approximately) to plan something amazing, as opposed to me going insane for another few years JUST so we can do it "right". I said it's not worth it in my eyes, and he agreed because he sees how upset it makes me (super stupid that it does, but that's beside the point). He told me that he has gone to caterers, gone to florists, etc... and tried to plan things out. I was stunned. I still am. I hadn't even gone that far! He confessed that it's been killing him too and that it's not the ring that's the problem, he could go out and get me a ring anytime. So he's actually been like 5 steps ahead of me this whole time. I've just been wanting to be engaged so we can work on the next step together. He wants to be on the next step! The whole thing was so sweet ("at our 75th wedding anniversary, this is going to be a drop in the bucket.") See I never flat out said engagement, I would say marriage, married, etc... not engaged, so he thought that I want to be married, like, next year. Truth is, as I told him, I was just feeling like engagement talk is taboo... because, well I really can't explain it, but it's like I'm asking him to propose when he truly wants it to be a surprise (told him that's not really possible at this stage) and he wants to pick the ring by himself, so I haven't wanted to impose. He really does want to pick the ring by himself though, and he reinforced this. So, my job is to back off, quit hinting, and let him pick something he knows I will love, and we will plan a wedding over a long period of time together-- slowly and thoughtfully. I feel a million times better about everything now that we are completely on the same page. *deeeeep breath* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alezia Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 You are probably only antsy and psyching yourself out for the engagement more than you really need to because you are excited and looking forward to the wedding/marriage. Ultimately what counts is that you both desire the same things and can communicate it. It's just a matter of timeline. So you can now relax, and think of other things until that moment comes. Then again, I'm probably the worst person to give you advice as far as engagement goes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocio Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 So, my job is to back off, quit hinting, and let him pick something he knows I will love, and we will plan a wedding over a long period of time together-- slowly and thoughtfully. I feel a million times better about everything now that we are completely on the same page. *deeeeep breath* That's all that matters. That you're both ok with the way things are going. Honestly, I couldn't care less about the whole diamond ring thing. I have a white gold band and it's very "me". My H wants to buy me a huge, expensive rock. But we've been married now almost 4 years and we still aren't close to being able to buy it. We just have other priorities. I told him to forget about it at this point because anyway it's going to look so random if I start wearing a huge rock out of nowhere! ...But then, if he wants to buy it for me, I'll love it. I think it's as much for them as it is for us. Kind of like how it almost feels better to give a present than to receive. That's why I just don't understand women who demand a particular ring at a particular price, and won't consider marrying the guy if he doesn't deliver. I bet THAT guy feels like crap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alezia Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 Exactly UMA. I never understood that perspective. I think it's ok for a girl to state her ring preferences ex: I would like white gold instead of yellow gold but putting a monetary minimum value on a ring makes a guy feel bad. The guy which I mentionned really hated that idea at first, but he still caved in and bought her a gorgeous 10K ring. It's not that he couldn't afford it, but that money should have gone on his house downpayment instead. I guess some girls are clearly better at manipulating their boyfriends than I am. She kept on going about how she deserved that type of ring, how if he really loved her - he would get it for her etc... You don't have much bargaining ground when you put the kid before the ring Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted March 1, 2011 Author Share Posted March 1, 2011 He is the one insisting that it has to be worth at least $1000. I shudder at the thought. $600 is my number. I'm blessed with small hands, so I can wear anything. As long as it's not diamond chips like the ring my ex "gave" me, I'm happy with being surprised with what he thinks I'll love best Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alezia Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 Sounds good. To me 600$ and 1K are pretty much the same value, so that's close enough to come in due time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 I'm glad you guys talked Sherry! See, you were on the same page the whole time and didn't know it, lol. I think two years is a good amount of time... and it gives you more time to plan and a better budget to work with than a year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted March 1, 2011 Author Share Posted March 1, 2011 I feel like a huge weight is off my shoulders. I don't want to plan a wedding while in school anyways, maybe we could make an Oct or Dec 2013 wedding Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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