How do i break up with someone without hurting them badly

[sweetpea43252452]

first i have to give you a little history. im 17 and i was dating this guy that i loved with all my heart and i thought he loved me. well it turns out he didnt because he cheated on me and broke up with me over the phone from his other girlfriends house.

 

ok a couple of months later i started dating this guy thats 16 that i really thought i liked. weve been friends for a long time. i really thought i was over my ex but now i realize im not ready for another relationship right now. when he kissed me the other night for the first time i realized that the only feelings i had for him were feelings of friendship. im really un happy and really stressed and i know i need to break up with him, but i dont want to hurt him. how can i break this to him easy? i really need help. i feel like such a horrible person. please any advice will help. the last thing i wanted to do is hurt anyone. i feel like im acting just like my ex.

[saltwatergirl]

My advice: do it in person. Tell him you care for him greatly, but that you realize you are not yet ready to be involved with someone romantically. That you are still healing from your last relationship, and that it woudn't be giving the 2 of you a fair chance with your heart not totally opened up to someone else yet.

 

Ask if he would continue to remain your friend, and apologize for any hurt you may be causing.

 

That's all you need to do. You dont owe him anything, except honesty. Do NOT drag this out, you will only hurt him more later.

 

Salt

[Alabama]

Okay, when you talk to him, just act relaxed. Tell him in person and directly that you want to break up with him. Do it kindly and tell him the truth plain out. I'm sure if you tell him the whole truth, he'll understand. Good luck!

[Gilgamesh]

I agree with the last two posts, he may be upset/sad, but at least you are being honest and not playing games.

 

I wish I would have received theplain truth instead of being lead on, lied to or left in the dark.

[avman]

You can't do it without hurting the other person, unfortunately. But as the others said, its best just to be honest and straight with them. The longer you let it go, the worse it will be.

 

He will be hurt and probably distant for awhile, but hopefully the friendship can return.

[stopbluebaby]

Basically, you have to act/become so undesirable as to have THEM want to break up w/YOU. For example, pretend to be obsessed with them and call them all the time, gain weight, don't shower, act crazy etc....of course, despite what people say about not wanting to hurt the other person, that is mostly bs - we are all basically selfish and care most about ourselves. thereforeeee, we would refuse even a slight wound to our own dignity, even if that would save the other person immeasurable pain.