Need some tips, pretty new to the whole sex thing...

[lostgirlaus]

So I've just gotten back with my boyfriend. When I met him I was a virgin, I NEVER had the desire to have sex or even masterbate. Once we started having sex, I'd crave it all the time but I always had to initiate it. I was also scared of orgasming, because it felt like I needed to pee. I've read many places that this is normal, but I'm still scared. Penetrative sex doesn't do it for me, and using my own fingers doesn't work either. For the last few days he's been really horny. I have no idea what changed but I like it. The night he came over to make up, he was extremely horny and I denied him sex. I noticed kissing him passionately works wonders and also nibbling on his lower lip gently.

 

I need tips on how to turn him on without making it obvious, I'm sick of the initiating! I see him this coming weekend and I want to turn him on, but I don't want to do the above, I was something different so it won't get boring. I'm looking for more physical things to do rather than visual, because I know the short skirt and bending over thing works for him haha. We will usually watch movies all night long and then have sex, I want something that will make him turn off the movie and want to have his wicked way with me LOL

[Snowy]

First of all, I just want to say I wish my ex was like you LOL. She never initiated either. -.-"

 

Umm, try not initiating for a while.

 

If that doesn't work, I would just tell him that you don't want to initiate ALL the time and that he could be more proactive. (:

[lostgirlaus]

First of all, I just want to say I wish my ex was like you LOL. She never initiated either. -.-"

 

Umm, try not initiating for a while.

 

If that doesn't work, I would just tell him that you don't want to initiate ALL the time and that he could be more proactive. (

 

Haha well it was pretty much I'd initiate or not get any Yeah I've decided no more initiating from me for awhile Just need tips on getting him horny and wanting to initiate..

[Godless_Heathen]

The night he came over to make up, he was extremely horny and I denied him sex.

That's a one sure way to make him avoid initiating in the future.

[lostgirlaus]

That's a one sure way to make him avoid initiating in the future.

 

definitely not, he's even more excited to see me now... It was a one off thing and he knows it

[dan92]

definitely not, he's even more excited to see me now... It was a one off thing and he knows it

 

If it was playful in denying him i could see that, but it will knock a man back.

[lostgirlaus]

If it was playful in denying him i could see that, but it will knock a man back.

 

Ah now I'm a bit worried! I hope he'll initiate in the future now... Any way to make amends?

[mandyc]

i'm having this issue too. im tired of initiating all the time! If you want to be quite ovbious about it you can replace the movie with an adult film, or if that seem too bold maybe choose a steamy movie known for its sex scenes, like fatal attraction or something, and when those scenes come on start touching him or lightly massaging him. That always helps my man get the hint lol, but I need to think of some other ways too. good luck

[lostgirlaus]

i'm having this issue too. im tired of initiating all the time! If you want to be quite ovbious about it you can replace the movie with an adult film, or if that seem too bold maybe choose a steamy movie known for its sex scenes, like fatal attraction or something, and when those scenes come on start touching him or lightly massaging him. That always helps my man get the hint lol, but I need to think of some other ways too. good luck

 

Ooh I like that! Haha I'm definitely going to try that out now Thanks, good luck to you too

[Edmund Exley]

Instead of denying him the time he did, or not initiating, how about telling him "I love sex with you, but I feel its always me who initiates.....maybe you could sometimes"......sex isn't so complicated, people are just afraid to talk about it.

 

I had a girlfriend that denied to the point I didn't bother to try because it made me feel I was rolling the dice. It was a major factor in me ending things. Don't deny, talk. He may just be sorta afraid to start, denying him won't fix that.

[lostgirlaus]

Instead of denying him the time he did, or not initiating, how about telling him "I love sex with you, but I feel its always me who initiates.....maybe you could sometimes"......sex isn't so complicated, people are just afraid to talk about it.

 

I had a girlfriend that denied to the point I didn't bother to try because it made me feel I was rolling the dice. It was a major factor in me ending things. Don't deny, talk. He may just be sorta afraid to start, denying him won't fix that.

 

This is the first time I denied him, so I didn't realize it could cause "harm" so to speak. I'll wait awhile and if after a few times he doesn't initiate, then I'll talk to him..

[Edmund Exley]

This is the first time I denied him, so I didn't realize it could cause "harm" so to speak. I'll wait awhile and if after a few times he doesn't initiate, then I'll talk to him..

 

If its bothering you, why wait to discuss it?

[MsMargarita]

When I talked to my partner about the same issue I have found out that I deny him most of the times he initiates, and he just always wants sex, so it's me who has to let him know when i feel like it. This is unfortunately true, so maybe it's not so bad to initiate myself after all..

But if you don't want to initiate visually, how about kinky talk? Sometimes just a little hint makes wonders and it feels like he initiates it, even though i made the naughty comment!=)

[lostgirlaus]

If its bothering you, why wait to discuss it?

 

As I said in the OP, we've been broken up for a month and a bit, and haven't had sex in 2 months. Last weekend was the first time we had seen each other in 2 months, and I denied him. I'll see him this weekend. I can't just have the talk with him this weekend without even giving him the chance to initiate...

[lostgirlaus]

When I talked to my partner about the same issue I have found out that I deny him most of the times he initiates, and he just always wants sex, so it's me who has to let him know when i feel like it. This is unfortunately true, so maybe it's not so bad to initiate myself after all..

But if you don't want to initiate visually, how about kinky talk? Sometimes just a little hint makes wonders and it feels like he initiates it, even though i made the naughty comment!=)

 

Yeah I was thinking something along those lines. I suck at kinky talk, but I shall practise now haha