After pretty much NC the whole time...

[lostgirlaus]

He turned up at my door last night. We broke up a month and 10 days ago. He said he hadn't loved me in two months, and if you have read my older threads there was also a girl involved. While they never did anything, she was after him. He brought me a letter, because he isn't good at talking things out. Extractments from the letter ;

 

"At the time I didn’t know what I wanted, I was immature... At the time, I felt like we were at the end of the road and needed time to myself. This past month or so I’ve come to realize what I did was wrong (which was pretty much everything) and I realized that I really can’t imagine being with anyone else but you."

 

"Basically everything I have done in the past, I will never do again I really have learned a lesson, I miss you and can’t live without you, if you take me back you’ll be what I put first, all day, every day."

 

"As for ______, nothing went on between me and her while we were together, we were just friends and it is safe to say it will never, ever happen again, I can promise you that no girl is ever going to get that close to me ever again... I realize it was wrong of me to do that."

 

Me being the hopeless romantic that I am, couldn't turn him away. I never stopped loving him. I tried to fill the void with other guys but it didn't work. He came all that way in the cold just to give me a letter, not knowing what would happen. While we were together, he never came to visit me, so that was a big gesture on his part. I believe everyone deserves second chances, but I'm also a bit weary. It does seem like he has learnt his lesson, but who knows...

[ForumGuy]

The harsh reality here is that these are only words at this point. Since you do love him, which is great, keep your head on straight and let him back in, but at a slower pace. Be mindful to keep things respectful. I say this because my ex wanted to let me back in in a similar situation. She wanted to go at her pace, which was fine, except she was in the mode of "seeing what I would put up with" in order to get back with her and it became really a power game on her part (e.g. telling me she would call, then not calling) Hope this works out for you, looks good!!

[Ms Darcy]

The harsh reality here is that these are only words at this point!!

 

Do not go falling back into his arms. Keep him at a distance. Bad with words or not he needs to talk to you about these things and you should not put your whole heart into it again, especially if he left for someone else before.

[dancingcolors]

Be careful. My Ex left me to date other woman. Nothing materialized and he was back, crying on the phone for 4 hours how much he missed me, there will be no one else, I was his best friend. We had such a joyful reunion.

 

6 months later he left me for a woman at work, who he is still with after 1 1/2 years.

 

I think they come back because they get lonely. Probably it didn't work out with the other girl, so he is back.

 

I was madly in love with my ex. The second and final break up was much harder than the first. I think if they leave, and then they come back, somehow, the next break up is harder.

 

If it ever happened to me again, if someone left me for someone else, or left me to just date other people like he did, I wouldn't take them back. I feel like you are just setting yourself up for more hurt. Easier said than done when you are really in love. As I write this, I think, what if my ex, who I am still not over, showed up at my door today, wanting me back? And that is after 1 1/2 years of him being with someone else.

 

It is a tough call. Just be careful, and really look for the red flags and warning signs. I just think if they left you once, they can leave you again. I personally want a guy who would never consider leaving me for someone else, or to start dating other people. I want guy who I am the end of the road, and that is it. Because the other way hurts so much.

[lostgirlaus]

Thanks for the advice guys. He never actually left me for her. They never dated they were just REALLY close friends, and they flirted, but never dated or even considered dating. Even after we broke up, my friend still talked to him and had all the goss, so I know this.