scotsguy Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 Not strictly related to facebook but could end up being I guess. I miss her this morning. Not sure why or what's different. I'm not gonna contact her because it would do no good. I suppose this is the down after the up on the rollercoaster. Ugh I need to stop feeling like this. Snap out of it. Happy thoughts It's slowly coming back to me, I think I dreamt about her last night. She wanted to come back and try things again. That's what has messed me up! Dreams have a nasty habit of hurting me when I least expect it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bart Posted August 12, 2010 Author Share Posted August 12, 2010 Not strictly related to facebook but could end up being I guess. I miss her this morning. Not sure why or what's different. I'm not gonna contact her because it would do no good. I suppose this is the down after the up on the rollercoaster. Ugh I need to stop feeling like this. Snap out of it. Happy thoughts It's slowly coming back to me, I think I dreamt about her last night. She wanted to come back and try things again. That's what has messed me up! Dreams have a nasty habit of hurting me when I least expect it. Yeah, don't let this low point get you down! More highs will definitely be coming, don't worry. And I hate dreams!! I've had 3 or 4 in my 3 months NC and each one deals with my ex being extremely cruel, and hating me. They are so scary, I hate having them. They usually put a damper on my day, so I understand what you mean. But try and remember it's just a dream..don't contact her! Although I have to admit, sometimes I wonder why we dream about the things we do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotsguy Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 Yeah, don't let this low point get you down! More highs will definitely be coming, don't worry. And I hate dreams!! I've had 3 or 4 in my 3 months NC and each one deals with my ex being extremely cruel, and hating me. They are so scary, I hate having them. They usually put a damper on my day, so I understand what you mean. But try and remember it's just a dream..don't contact her! Although I have to admit, sometimes I wonder why we dream about the things we do? I'm good now, after I got to work and chatted to people for a bit I forgot all about it the lows don't seem as bad or last for as long as they used to. Yeah dreams aren't fun. I guess you can distract yourself during the day but at night you have no control over it. There must be a reason for dreaming things though. Exactly! It is just a dream and has no effect on reality. Nothing has changed, I'm not gonna contact her. I'm still sticking to the fb challenge and now on day 13 of NC. Things are looking good for the future and I have a couple of things to get excited about. How are you doing today? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlegirlblue Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 Now i have another challenge...not FB anymore...now plentyoffish! Argh. A male friend told me he saw his new girl is on plentyoffish looking for a LTR. I had a wee peak at it (a weak moment AGAIN!) She had logged on today!? Hmmm...yet she is supposedly SO in to him according to him? I felt quite good about that but i know i'm over analysing again. Am i looking too much in to it?...my gut instinct says yes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirrorman Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 Um, block her POF profile. Now. Yeah, you're really shooting yourself in the foot by checking his FB page. You're keeping him in your life, you're staying up to date on his life and not letting go of this last piece of him. You can do it. I wish more people on here understood that checking FB is a form of breaking no contact because it's you holding on to them and, in a way staying involved. People think FB is so innocent but really, it's very invasive. I stopped checking my ex's page over a month ago...but I would be happy to join you in this challenge. Hear, hear. Unfriend him. Block him, or whatever the Facebook operating system calls it, just like you'd delete his phone number from your cell phone (if you don't have his number but need to contact him in a genuine emergency situation, I believe that there are ways to do that.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bart Posted August 12, 2010 Author Share Posted August 12, 2010 Now i have another challenge...not FB anymore...now plentyoffish! Argh. A male friend told me he saw his new girl is on plentyoffish looking for a LTR. I had a wee peak at it (a weak moment AGAIN!) She had logged on today!? Hmmm...yet she is supposedly SO in to him according to him? I felt quite good about that but i know i'm over analysing again. Am i looking too much in to it?...my gut instinct says yes Oh no! Now you have two websites to worry about, I hate that! But yeah, try not to go on either. Remember when you looked at her FB the other day and it only hurt you?! I'm glad looking at plentyoffish didn't really hurt, but what if one day you look and it does? Try to avoid it, it'll give you less things to overanalyze! How are you doing today? Yeah, I find talking to others always helps take my mind off things! I knew you'd still stick to NC, woohoo!! I'm doing pretty good, thank you for asking! I had a few little memories that set me back for a couple minutes today, but it was only for about 5 minutes out of my day. Feel really good now, and about to go buy some new shoes so I'll probably be feeling even better later, hahaha. I'm proud of us for doing almost 2 weeks no FB! (and 2 weeks NC for you -- yay!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotsguy Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 Now i have another challenge...not FB anymore...now plentyoffish! Argh. A male friend told me he saw his new girl is on plentyoffish looking for a LTR. I had a wee peak at it (a weak moment AGAIN!) She had logged on today!? Hmmm...yet she is supposedly SO in to him according to him? I felt quite good about that but i know i'm over analysing again. Am i looking too much in to it?...my gut instinct says yes Yes you are reading too much into it. It doesn't matter if you think their relationship has a shaky foundation or is doomed to failure. Did you feel good because you don't want him to be happy, or because you think if things don't work out he'll come back to you? If it's the latter, remember he has chosen not to be with you. First of all he may not come back, and second do you really want to be his backup plan? Find someone who will make you his number 1. If it's the former then that's okay, it's normal to feel like that at times. If you're unhappy, then why should he get to be happy? I admit I've felt like that at times. I said to you in my PM that I'm uncertain if things will work out for my ex and her bf. Also I know that she's struggling with money just now. I probably shouldn't, but I do take a little pleasure from these things. Just don't let it get out of hand. Healing is getting to the point that you don't have any strong feelings one way or the other about your ex. In the meantime stay away from plentyoffish too, and ask your friends not to give you any updates. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotsguy Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 Yeah, I find talking to others always helps take my mind off things! I knew you'd still stick to NC, woohoo!! I'm doing pretty good, thank you for asking! I had a few little memories that set me back for a couple minutes today, but it was only for about 5 minutes out of my day. Feel really good now, and about to go buy some new shoes so I'll probably be feeling even better later, hahaha. I'm proud of us for doing almost 2 weeks no FB! (and 2 weeks NC for you -- yay!) Work is good at the moment because one of my colleagues is a massive fan of the same band as me. So we have loads to talk about haha thanks. I don't think there was much chance of me breaking it. I'm so used to not initiating contact now. Ooh I had a bit of a panic this afternoon. My phone rang, the caller had blocked their number. Since she's done that before to get me to answer, I just ignored it and assumed she would leave a voicemail. Thankfully it turned out to be my insurance company. Phew! Glad I managed to ignore anyway. That's great it was only 5 minutes today! Stay positive, you're doing so well. Get some nice shoes, are they for anything special? It's great that we're sticking to this so far. Let's keep it up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bart Posted August 13, 2010 Author Share Posted August 13, 2010 Work is good at the moment because one of my colleagues is a massive fan of the same band as me. So we have loads to talk about haha thanks. I don't think there was much chance of me breaking it. I'm so used to not initiating contact now. Ooh I had a bit of a panic this afternoon. My phone rang, the caller had blocked their number. Since she's done that before to get me to answer, I just ignored it and assumed she would leave a voicemail. Thankfully it turned out to be my insurance company. Phew! Glad I managed to ignore anyway. That's great it was only 5 minutes today! Stay positive, you're doing so well. Get some nice shoes, are they for anything special? It's great that we're sticking to this so far. Let's keep it up! Haha I hate blocked phone calls, they always make me paranoid. But I had to go get some shoes for a new job I'm starting, exciting! And I agree, we can do it!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bart Posted August 14, 2010 Author Share Posted August 14, 2010 Had the urge to look today, but I didn't. How's everyone else doing with this challenge? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotsguy Posted August 14, 2010 Share Posted August 14, 2010 Had the urge to look today, but I didn't. How's everyone else doing with this challenge? Well done for not looking it gets easier, doesn't it? Another completely facebook-free day for me. Is that officially 2 weeks now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bart Posted August 14, 2010 Author Share Posted August 14, 2010 Well done for not looking it gets easier, doesn't it? Another completely facebook-free day for me. Is that officially 2 weeks now? yeah, it does get easier! glad you're still going strong as well haha, and yes 2 weeks today! yaaay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotsguy Posted August 14, 2010 Share Posted August 14, 2010 yeah, it does get easier! glad you're still going strong as well haha, and yes 2 weeks today! yaaay I think if you're wavering a little bit, it helps knowing that you'll feel guilty about it on here afterwards also I can't believe it's been 15 days of NC for me and I still feel good haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bart Posted August 14, 2010 Author Share Posted August 14, 2010 I think if you're wavering a little bit, it helps knowing that you'll feel guilty about it on here afterwards also I can't believe it's been 15 days of NC for me and I still feel good haha. Haha definitely, I'm too proud of my 2 weeks of no FB to just let it slip away due to one little urge. But yes, your NC is going really well! I'm glad you're still doing good..I remember my whole first month of NC was pretty up and down, but by month 2 I had no desire to contact the ex anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hell_On_Heels Posted August 15, 2010 Share Posted August 15, 2010 I love shoes....hope you got a fabulous new pair Still no word from friends on what he is doing, so we're all doing great with my Group NC Project. LOL I'm expecting my divorce papers to be served to me next week or so. Once I have them, I can block his email address, and possibly change my phone number. Ugh - I don't really want to lose my phone number. I've had it for years and many of my friends are located all over the country and in Canada...we don't always talk often, and I like to make sure they can reach me even after months of no calls. So I'm undecided on the phone thing. I tell myself I doubt he will call....but I AM scared he might some day, when he needs a fix from me (his ego boost and comfort when he's screwed his life up). It would make me feel better just to be safe, but it'd also make me feel worse about possibly losing some of my long distance friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bart Posted August 15, 2010 Author Share Posted August 15, 2010 Do you have caller ID on the phone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hell_On_Heels Posted August 15, 2010 Share Posted August 15, 2010 I do have caller id. I took him out of my cell phone, but he's still in my computer. I tried to delete him there, too, but when he calls it does show up with his name...weird. I don't think he will call any time soon. I'd expect maybe in 1-3 years...Sometimes I think I am borrowing trouble. Other times I realize I am doing whatever I have to so that I don't get dragged into his nightmare world again. But you're right...caller id, so long as it keeps working (lol) is the answer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bart Posted August 15, 2010 Author Share Posted August 15, 2010 I don't think he will call any time soon. I'd expect maybe in 1-3 years...Sometimes I think I am borrowing trouble. Other times I realize I am doing whatever I have to so that I don't get dragged into his nightmare world again. But you're right...caller id, so long as it keeps working (lol) is the answer. Haha yeah definitely, since you have caller ID, I'd say keep your phone number that way all your friends can reach you. Just don't answer his call..if he calls, haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
everybodyknows Posted August 15, 2010 Share Posted August 15, 2010 i freaking hate facebook, my sister's account was logged on today when i was over at her place and i looked at his profile even though i told myself not to do i!! i saw nothing bad but he keeps updating his status and its so annoying. i hate him. mine is the same, looking busy, being with friends, whatever. but i wish he was hurting, i wish he was missing me. i know i seem fine and so does he, but i'm hurting so badly on the inside. i need to NOT LOOK at his facebook. this is what makes me hurt/annoyed/angry the MOST. i need to keep moving on and looking at his fb doesn't help me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotsguy Posted August 15, 2010 Share Posted August 15, 2010 Quick update for today. I was on facebook tonight, typing a friend's name in the search bar to look at some pictures they posted. All of a sudden I had a strong urge to type in my ex's name (even though I would only be able to see her profile pic anyway). I didn't though I closed the window straight away and left the computer until the feeling had passed. I'm pleased I didn't give in but it was a close one. Phew! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stu1973 Posted August 15, 2010 Share Posted August 15, 2010 I've not looked at my exes for 6 months but.... A couple of months ago I was at my brothers girlfriends birthday night out, and some girls I used to work with ten years ago were there, so I knew lots of people. I was introduced to another girl, who I chatted to a while, but nothing came of it. Next day, she added me on facebook, I added her back, was looking through her friends, and guess who's a mutual friend of one of her friends ( complicated I know )....my ex. I should know better! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bart Posted August 15, 2010 Author Share Posted August 15, 2010 Next day, she added me on facebook, I added her back, was looking through her friends, and guess who's a mutual friend of one of her friends ( complicated I know )....my ex. I should know better! Did you look at your ex's FB? Quick update for today. I was on facebook tonight, typing a friend's name in the search bar to look at some pictures they posted. All of a sudden I had a strong urge to type in my ex's name (even though I would only be able to see her profile pic anyway). I didn't though I closed the window straight away and left the computer until the feeling had passed. I'm pleased I didn't give in but it was a close one. Phew! Haha I'm proud of you! That's always my downfall too..typing in the search bar. I can be browsing FB with no problem, but if I have to search for something it always leads to me going to my ex's page. Hahah so really well done! i need to NOT LOOK at his facebook. this is what makes me hurt/annoyed/angry the MOST. i need to keep moving on and looking at his fb doesn't help me. FB really does suck, you should join our challenge! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stu1973 Posted August 15, 2010 Share Posted August 15, 2010 Nope, I resisted!!! But innocently wandering around facebook, and she jumped out at me, it was like an ambush!!!! And something just happened just now, right now. One of my friends posted the usual "good night everyone" and someone replied "schlaf gut". Now I alway remember that phrase, as my ex texted it to me one night when I was in Germany. this was 8 bloody months ago, yet reading it made my heart jump into my mouth. Ouch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotsguy Posted August 15, 2010 Share Posted August 15, 2010 Nope, I resisted!!! But innocently wandering around facebook, and she jumped out at me, it was like an ambush!!!! And something just happened just now, right now. One of my friends posted the usual "good night everyone" and someone replied "schlaf gut". Now I alway remember that phrase, as my ex texted it to me one night when I was in Germany. this was 8 bloody months ago, yet reading it made my heart jump into my mouth. Ouch Ouch is right. It hurts really bad when you get ambushed like that - and that's twice in one day for you. Well done for resisting. i need to NOT LOOK at his facebook. this is what makes me hurt/annoyed/angry the MOST. i need to keep moving on and looking at his fb doesn't help me. I agree with bart, you should join our challenge. If you ever feel like you're going to look at his FB, close it down and go outside until the feeling passes. There's a few of us around here who will support you if you want to post in this thread. You can always PM me if you want to vent or rant in private! Haha I'm proud of you! That's always my downfall too..typing in the search bar. I can be browsing FB with no problem, but if I have to search for something it always leads to me going to my ex's page. Hahah so really well done! Thanks! I'm going to try to avoid searching from now on. I feel good that I resisted, it's given me a little boost Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bart Posted August 16, 2010 Author Share Posted August 16, 2010 Nope, I resisted!!! But innocently wandering around facebook, and she jumped out at me, it was like an ambush!!!! And something just happened just now, right now. One of my friends posted the usual "good night everyone" and someone replied "schlaf gut". Now I alway remember that phrase, as my ex texted it to me one night when I was in Germany. this was 8 bloody months ago, yet reading it made my heart jump into my mouth. Ouch Good job resisting!! Sorry about that little surprise though..it's unfortunate when that happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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