Facebook Challenge

[bart]

Haha I understand, my ex has a new girlfriend as well, and I tried looking at her page but it was completely private..thank God! I think that helped me, because I probably would've looked at her pictures just as you did. But you've already looked and know that it only hurts you, so you won't do it again, you're on the right path now!

[littlegirlblue]

Yup...no more. I know what she looks like. Does it make me big headed to think i am prettier than her and she's 5 years younger than me yet looks a lot older. I thought she was in her early 30s. I'm 32 and i still get asked for ID when bying alcohol because they don't think I look 18 haha. Oh well if it is big headed, so what. I need to find ways to make me feel better i guess!

 

A drifting thought there, he hides his age on FB. I wonder if she knows he's 36? or did he lie again! He's always lying to people about his age. He's so not taking care of himself these days and is starting to age quite quickly. Sad thing is he'll always be handsome in my eyes! grrr! lol

[scotsguy]

How are we all doing today? Thought I would check in again. I've been good today and haven't even been on facebook at all. Not really interested at all to be honest! Bart did you keep up your end of the bargain so far?

[bart]

How are we all doing today? Thought I would check in again. I've been good today and haven't even been on facebook at all. Not really interested at all to be honest! Bart did you keep up your end of the bargain so far?

 

I did indeed! Haha, I haven't gone on FB all day either! I definitely get the lack of interest thing, and honestly, I feel better on the days I don't go on it, don't you?

[scotsguy]

Great, well done! Yeah I think it's a positive cycle: the less you go on, you realise how much better you feel and it motivates you to continue. It gets easier wih each day that passes. I honestly think fb is poisonous for relationships generally, even for friendships. I had a chat recently with a friend about this (in person!) and we've both had problems with dealing with certain people and situations on fb.

[bart]

Yup, it does get easier each day! And I agree with you about fb being poisonous, I never really liked it much anyway, I actually find it quite boring haha.

[Nappyloxs]

I'm in.

 

I broke NC today after a month because of stupid facebook. I was trying to avoid it, but it is like a drug (according to yahoo!).

 

I am starting NC all over again and will avoid facebook too. I have deleted my facebook bookmarks (still go on for stupid mafia wars!), but I don't check my pages or my other accounts.

 

New stronger and better me here I come!!!!!!!

[bart]

I'm in.

 

I broke NC today after a month because of stupid facebook. I was trying to avoid it, but it is like a drug (according to yahoo!).

 

I am starting NC all over again and will avoid facebook too. I have deleted my facebook bookmarks (still go on for stupid mafia wars!), but I don't check my pages or my other accounts.

 

New stronger and better me here I come!!!!!!!

 

I saw you post about that yahoo article on another thread, do you have the link? I'd love to read it, haha.

 

But I'm glad you're joining us in the challenge! It might help to block facebook as well, I downloaded some blocking thing and you just paste the facebook link in there & your internet blocks it! So, you can still play mafia wars but your ex's specific page will be blocked. It's worked pretty well for me!

[scotsguy]

Yup, it does get easier each day! And I agree with you about fb being poisonous, I never really liked it much anyway, I actually find it quite boring haha.

 

How are you coping generally now? I saw you said on another thread that you've been doing nc for 3 months. Has it gotten any easier as time goes by?

[bart]

How are you coping generally now? I saw you said on another thread that you've been doing nc for 3 months. Has it gotten any easier as time goes by?

 

The first month of NC was pretty bad, as to be expected haha. The second month, I rarely thought of him..but I think that was because I was SO busy with university courses and a new job!

 

But this 3rd month has had its ups and downs. I do think of him, but not for more than 5-10 minutes a day. I'm not as busy as I was in month 2, so I think having more free time is what causes me to think of him.

 

But it definitely has gotten easier! I would never, ever wish to go back to the first few weeks after the break up, it was horrible! I have no desire to talk to him anymore, I don't think of him that often, and I don't cry about it anymore. So, yeah, I've definitely improved with time.

 

What about you? How long have you been NC & how are you coping so far?

[scotsguy]

I know what you mean about the first few weeks. I couldn't cope with that again! For me it's been 5 months since we broke up. First month was the worst, I made all the mistakes haha. After that I did a few bits of nc, the longest being about 4 weeks. Just now I'm on day 11 (I know, not long) but it's totally different this time. I think something has clicked for me and I feel very positive about the future, whether it includes her or not. Right now I'd rather it didn't include her!

 

It sounds like I'm at a similar stage to you. I'm tired of all the drama and just want to get on with things. I think about her a bit but have no desire to speak to her. I've started to make long term plans that don't factor in her coming back.

 

Do you find you get any attention from guys? How do you cope with it? One of the biggest things for me at the moment is interest from girls. Any time someone gives the smallest sign that they might be interested in being more than friends, I panic and pull away. Think I'm becoming a bit paranoid lol.

[Wildflower88]

I am 19 days NC and NC FB.... it sucks I fight the urge

[bart]

It sounds like I'm at a similar stage to you. I'm tired of all the drama and just want to get on with things. I think about her a bit but have no desire to speak to her. I've started to make long term plans that don't factor in her coming back.

 

Do you find you get any attention from guys? How do you cope with it? One of the biggest things for me at the moment is interest from girls. Any time someone gives the smallest sign that they might be interested in being more than friends, I panic and pull away. Think I'm becoming a bit paranoid lol.

 

Aw, 11 days is still something! I think I've only had the strength to keep NC because I fear what his response would be if I did contact him. Haha, there were definitely moments within the first month that I wanted to contact him, but that fear kept me going.

 

We're certainly at a similar stage though! I just am ready to move on, I'm tired of thinking and over analyzing and basically just not being myself! I'm ready to be happy again, and content by myself. It's good that you're at a more positive place now, I think that comes with time. Can I ask why you've kept in contact though (well, for brief periods)? Isn't that harder? If I did that I know it would delay my healing process, haha but you seem to be doing well!

 

I'm not too sure about guys at the moment. When I get attention from them, I'm always nice and I don't pull away or anything, but I don't think I've reached the point where I'm ready for someone new either. What are you paranoid about? Haha, don't let this one girl affect the chances you may have with someone new! But I have to say, pulling away and panicking probably just mean you're not ready yet. I'm not ready yet either, I just react differently to attention.

[scotsguy]

Well all the times I've done nc before, she was the one to break it and contact me. I just wasn't strong enough to ignore her. I think if she hadn't, I wouldn't have broken it. I did about 4 weeks before the latest contact, and I'm kinda glad I did speak to her this time. It totally killed any hope I had and released me from hanging around for her. Hurt like hell for the first couple of days but much much better now.

 

I'm done with it all now though, she's had more than enough time to reconsider things. I've only done 12 days now, but it's going to go for months this time.

 

Haha I am nice to them! Just things like when a girl keeps commentating on every fb status and finds silly reasons to text me all day, I wonder if something is up. Another one is a girl I just met yesterday, we exchanged numbers and she ended up texting me for the rest of the day putting kisses in the messages too. But I'm saying paranoid because it could all be totally innocent! I think though, as you say, I'm not ready yet either way.

[bart]

But I'm saying paranoid because it could all be totally innocent! I think though, as you say, I'm not ready yet either way.

 

Oh okay, well that's understandable. My ex contacted me twice in my first month of NC through a website we used, but I never responded. Idk if he's contacted since as I blocked the website. But I had to really restrain myself to not answer those two contacts, so I get why you responded to your ex.

 

It's good you're done with it now though. If you ever feel like you're going to break it just come to this thread! We'll support you.

 

Hahahha and about the girls..I don't know if you're being paranoid. I mean, some ladies just overuse those emoticons/kisses, but some use them if they're being flirty. Hey, you never know, maybe they all just got out of a break up and your male attention is boosting their self esteem! They want you to be their rebound, ahh watch out!

[littlegirlblue]

Well I blocked both their pages last night and have no urge to unblock them. Only 2 days NC and 3 since i last seen him. It's hurting so much today. Worse than when i looked at the new girls FB page yesterday Why do i feel like i'm going backwards?

[bart]

Well I blocked both their pages last night and have no urge to unblock them. Only 2 days NC and 3 since i last seen him. It's hurting so much today. Worse than when i looked at the new girls FB page yesterday Why do i feel like i'm going backwards?

 

It's only been 2 days, that's why! Everyone hits the highs and lows while going through a break up, and you'll be hitting them especially because you're in the early stages of one. Some days are going to be really hard, and some you'll rare think about it. Just know that better days are coming.

[littlegirlblue]

2 days NC but 3 weeks tomorrow since he ended it. I was doing reasonably ok until i got drunk and answered his text to go round there on Saturday night. I don't think i can sink any lower so the only way is up!

[scotsguy]

2 days NC but 3 weeks tomorrow since he ended it. I was doing reasonably ok until i got drunk and answered his text to go round there on Saturday night. I don't think i can sink any lower so the only way is up!

 

After 3 weeks I was still pestering my ex, convinced that she had made a mistake and would realise at any moment how stupid she had been. I spent the first month praying that it was all a dream and wasn't actually happening! 3 weeks isn't a long time, and you seem to be holding up pretty well compared to some people (me included). The healing process is different for everyone and it will probably take you a while to get to a point where you feel okay with things. Keep doing NC and keep your friends around you. If nothing else they will stop you doing anything stupid! And you can always come and post on here - there are tons of people who will help you out if you're struggling or just want someone to listen

[littlegirlblue]

We split up for a month 2 months ago and for about 3 weeks of that i was sending him "I miss you" texts. Then i stopped and about 10 days later he contacted me! If only i could turn back time! lol

 

My normal small circle of friends are all loved up with new partners just now which is making this even worse as much as i'm happy for them! I can tell they're fed up with the whole on / off "he's at it again" which has been our relationship for the past 2.5 years. I told my best friend what happened at the weekend and she was really angry with me asking me why did i text him. This coming from the girl who can't control herself at all when she's drunk. I felt a bit upset when she didn't seem understanding. I think i've worn them all down with this to be honest.

 

I feel like I'm faking it a lot of the time but hey, if it helps stop me from breaking down I guess it can't be a bad thing and when things are really troubling me i always have here as a safety net

[scotsguy]

I don't want to come accross as preachy at all because I know it's horrible if you feel someone's talking down to you - so please take these comments in the spirit they're intended.

 

It sounds like things have been a bit shaky for a while. Maybe you feel like things would be perfect if he came back looking to reconcile. But would they really? Your relationship with him has been on/off since the beginning. Can you handle the heartache and emotional stress that comes with that sort of relationship? Don't think of NC as a struggle to not contact him - think of it as 'me time'. Take some time out and start to recover before you think about what you want.

 

I understand what you mean about faking it. My friends were interested for about a week, then they just stopped asking how I was coping etc. I could tell they weren't interested anymore so I stopped talking about it. It feels exhausting to pretend you're okay when you're crying inside. When I first posted on here and on another site it felt so good to talk about it. It does you no good to keep things bottled up. If your friends aren't interested, talk to us. Feel free to PM me if you ever need to rant or unload on someone without them judging you

[scotsguy]

Oh okay, well that's understandable. My ex contacted me twice in my first month of NC through a website we used, but I never responded. Idk if he's contacted since as I blocked the website. But I had to really restrain myself to not answer those two contacts, so I get why you responded to your ex.

 

It's good you're done with it now though. If you ever feel like you're going to break it just come to this thread! We'll support you.

 

Hahahha and about the girls..I don't know if you're being paranoid. I mean, some ladies just overuse those emoticons/kisses, but some use them if they're being flirty. Hey, you never know, maybe they all just got out of a break up and your male attention is boosting their self esteem! They want you to be their rebound, ahh watch out!

 

Thanks this thread is the place to be! I guess I responded to her for two reasons - 1. I didn't want to be rude - okay that's ridiculous in hindsight! What was I thinking? And 2. I didn't want to spend days wondering what she wanted. If she called now, I hope I'd be able to ignore it and forget within a few minutes.

 

Haha thanks for making me laugh! I'd be a rubbish rebound at the moment. That raises an interesting question though, can two people rebound together?

 

I should give an update on my facebook use for the day. I did look at it today, but nothing to do with my ex or her BF. Thanks for your PMs by the way

[bart]

 

Haha thanks for making me laugh! I'd be a rubbish rebound at the moment. That raises an interesting question though, can two people rebound together?

 

I should give an update on my facebook use for the day. I did look at it today, but nothing to do with my ex or her BF. Thanks for your PMs by the way

 

Hahah if she does call, just try and ignore it, you can do it!

 

And about the two people rebounding..I've often wondered this myself. I mean..I'm sure they can? Haha, I don't know. But I have heard it helps to have a friend whose dealing with similar things, so maybe that would work.

 

Haha and good job with FB. I haven't checked for 11 days, woohooo! And you're welcome! Hope our other buddies from this thread are doing good with No FB as well!

[scotsguy]

Hahah if she does call, just try and ignore it, you can do it!

 

And about the two people rebounding..I've often wondered this myself. I mean..I'm sure they can? Haha, I don't know. But I have heard it helps to have a friend whose dealing with similar things, so maybe that would work.

 

Haha and good job with FB. I haven't checked for 11 days, woohooo! And you're welcome! Hope our other buddies from this thread are doing good with No FB as well!

 

Well done yourself! I think we're onto something with this mutual encouragement business. I think a double-rebound would be a very strange relationship, not one that I'd want to experience. A friend though, is different. I guess it would be helpful to have a friend who knew what you were going through (a bit like a real-life ENA

[bart]

Well done yourself! I think we're onto something with this mutual encouragement business. I think a double-rebound would be a very strange relationship, not one that I'd want to experience. A friend though, is different. I guess it would be helpful to have a friend who knew what you were going through (a bit like a real-life ENA

 

I think all the ENAers are like real friends who are in a similar situation. Haha, it's like one big support group!