Facebook Challenge

[bart]

Anyone else down for this?

 

I can't seem to last more than a week. I don't have a FB, but I use my brother's to look at my ex's profile.

 

I actually have his FB blocked..but his profile's public, so whenever I get the urge to check it I just unblock the page & look anyway.

 

Tomorrow is the start of a new month, August 1st, and I decided I really, REALLY need to stop checking FB.

 

I've been NC for 3 months now, & have no urge to contact him..but I can't seem to kick this FB habit. I still want to know what he's up to, which isn't good. I'm hoping this will help.

 

If anyone wants to join, please do!

[Eddie37]

Yeah, you're really shooting yourself in the foot by checking his FB page. You're keeping him in your life, you're staying up to date on his life and not letting go of this last piece of him. You can do it. I wish more people on here understood that checking FB is a form of breaking no contact because it's you holding on to them and, in a way staying involved. People think FB is so innocent but really, it's very invasive. I stopped checking my ex's page over a month ago...but I would be happy to join you in this challenge.

[bart]

Yeah, you're really shooting yourself in the foot by checking his FB page. You're keeping him in your life, you're staying up to date on his life and not letting go of this last piece of him. You can do it. I wish more people on here understood that checking FB is a form of breaking no contact because it's you holding on to them and, in a way staying involved. People think FB is so innocent but really, it's very invasive. I stopped checking my ex's page over a month ago...but I would be happy to join you in this challenge.

 

haha, thank you! i think i just need some support. its weird, because i feel over him. i think of him everyday, but nothing sad, and only for a few seconds.

 

and im always busy! so im never usually on the computer, but when i am..even for 5 minutes, its like a different person takes over my body and forces me onto his fb. i dont know if it has to do with us being in a LDR, so the computer was kind of 'our thing.'

 

but i deleted/blocked him on all the sites i use, so even if he wanted to check he has nothing to look at. but he didnt delete any. and there are soo many sites we signed up for together out of boredom, and ive been doing great not checking those. but fb is just killer.

[annie24]

i'm pretty good about not checking exes' facebooks. I just like to assume the worst - they have a new gf, and she is a victoria's secret model, and is kind to children and animals and is amazing in bed. then i just move on. nothing i can find on his facebook would be worse than that, lol.

[blueeyedme]

Yeah, I blocked her because in my head every new friend was the new BF and I just didn't need to torture myself with that anymore. I know I can unblock her anytime, but taking that extra step I hope makes me think why I did it. I think I need to keep her blocked until I don't care if I do or don't.

[heartbroken9]

So joining this challenge. I look at my ex's page everyday to see what he's up to..to see if he commented a girls page, to see if he has a new friend added thats a girl, or to see if a girl comments him! Its crazy! When i try not to look at it, I can go maybe a day and then I just get this anxiety and I have to go check it..but I deactivated my profile tonight and hopefully that will help with the urge..Facebook is evil.

[annie24]

So joining this challenge. I look at my ex's page everyday to see what he's up to..to see if he commented a girls page, to see if he has a new friend added thats a girl, or to see if a girl comments him! Its crazy! When i try not to look at it, I can go maybe a day and then I just get this anxiety and I have to go check it..but I deactivated my profile tonight and hopefully that will help with the urge..Facebook is evil.

 

I know - and I hate sitting around trying to figure out if the girl who left the comment is a girl he is dating, just a friend, a lesbian friend, a coworker, his cousin, or she is stalking him, or what?! bah, it can get maddening!!! better not to look at all.

[Samedy]

I used to check exes profiles and all that jazz... But eventually I got bored of doing that...

[eikal]

I deleted my ex as a friend and blocked her, i deleted her number as well, luckily i dont have it memorized. I have no way of contacting her even if i wanted to. It's hard. but it works.

[stay_positive]

This is the one time I'm thankful my ex doesn't have a facebook... I will never have to deal with this. Good luck on the challenge!!

[biggestdork]

All my friends are practically her friends, so I just decided to deactivate my facebook account.

 

Now Im super bored and lonely. I dont know if that was a good idea, but there wasnt much I can do.

[bart]

This is the one time I'm thankful my ex doesn't have a facebook... I will never have to deal with this. Good luck on the challenge!!

 

Thank you!

 

And thanks to everyone who commented & decided to join in, it's good to know I'm not the only one!

[jennb0benn]

Count me in!

[Baurman]

All my friends are practically her friends, so I just decided to deactivate my facebook account.

 

Now Im super bored and lonely. I dont know if that was a good idea, but there wasnt much I can do.

 

I'm here with you man. I as well deactivated my Facebook and STOPPED going on Facebook because of my Ex. The reason is because if I stay on Facebook, I am friends with a lot of her girlfriends and I just don't want them spying on me, viewing what I do, etc. And of course, everytime my Ex updated her status with things she was doing -- HURT ME!!!

 

So deactivating the Facebook, CLOSE THE DOOR on the past. Even though it sounds cruel now, You need to stop talking to any Mutual Friend, Disappear from the Ex's life completely.

 

I did that and only now am I seeing results of HEALING every day I get better and better.... I also agree that viewing her page is equivalent to BREAKING CONTACT because What happens when you break contact? You feel hurt, rejected, nothing gets better right? Well what happens when you look at your Ex's facebook? NOTHING BUT GET HURT! So safe yourself the pain from getting hurt and just stop looking at the page!

[Hell_On_Heels]

i'm pretty good about not checking exes' facebooks. I just like to assume the worst - they have a new gf, and she is a victoria's secret model, and is kind to children and animals and is amazing in bed. then i just move on. nothing i can find on his facebook would be worse than that, lol.

 

Annie, this is hilarious!!

 

I do the opposite. I figure he has a girlfriend already, she's not very pretty, she's probably sweet as can be, and he will hurt her the way he's hurt everyone else. One day she'll contact me via FB to see if it's her or him - if he's screwed her mind up the way he did mine and the woman before me. (I didn't know about this pattern until our divorce.)

 

Occasionally I can see or hear what he's up to from friends. I do have him blocked on FB so I can't see his comments even on mutual friends' pages - love that feature. I also blocked his son, which I feel mean about, but it's too easy for them to check on me - not that I think they care, but still. His son is still friends with my 3 kids...it all gets nutty pretty quick!

 

My friend told me yesterday he "liked" a picture/comment. The picture was a friend of his and his wife. The comment was that she was his WAY better half. And my ex liked it? In the middle of our divorce, and from a man who can't keep a relationship together, he liked this comment?

 

That hurt. And I can't even say why. So, I'll join the challenge and keepp trying to get my friends to stop telling me things he did. (His page is set to private, as is mine.)

[taylorhill]

I'm so glad I DELETED, not just deactivated facebook 2 months ago. Do I miss it? Actually no!

 

"Liking" photos

status updates

tagging pictures

farmville

fishtankville

people spying

worrying about the ex

[Hell_On_Heels]

More hilarious comments I'm loving this.

 

I keep my FB and I like it. I have friends all over the world, and it helps me stay in touch, even if that contact is not very meaningful most of the time. LOL, my current status says that I found a fabulous art/drafting table free on the curb yesterday. Seriously, who cares besides me and my crafty friends? But, we can stay in touch that way.

 

I'm also pretty careful on mine because I have a lot of business contacts on there. I actually know every one of my friends, but I only have 111, I think. I don't put highly personal info on there - I use messaging for that.

 

So, like all social/business networks, I think it's good. But not to be taken very seriously. I really don't like the people who use it as a way to hurt exes. Ugh!

[lvsthebeach]

I so need this challenge! I have deleted my ex from my friends but his profile is open and I can see every post. He hasn't posted anything in a couple of days and still has his relationship staus as married. I guess he is waiting to change that until the divorce is final. I just took off a relationship status. We have so many mutual friends but I have deleted all of his family from my friends. I do not put anything on my status that would hurt the divorce proceedings. All of the updates are pretty generic. I do have my privacy settings that only friends can see my profile but like I said, we have many mutual friends and he could ask them to check my page. I really don't care if he does. I just need to stop looking at his. This site has been so helpful to me during this crazy time! 14 years with someone and then not is hard.

[bart]

Yeah, this site helps a lot! 14 years is a long time, so it will definitely take some time to get over. Don't be too hard on yourself for checking his FB. But.. it still isn't a good thing, so I'm glad you joined the challenge!

[bart]

Made it through Day 1, yayy!

 

How is everyone else doing?

[hours]

I unfriended and blocked my ex shortly after we broke up, but we were together for over 10+ years and have a lot of mutual "friends" on there. Every now and then a picture or something about my ex shows up on one of our mutual friend's walls, which then shows up in my news feed, and seeing it is like going back to heartbreak ground zero all over again.

 

If I hadn't moved away to another city right after our break up, I'd delete my account, but there are people I am trying to stay in contact with on there, even though my ex has ended up with most our mutuals on her side.

 

I don't know, sometimes I think I need to completely start over from scratch - as our mutuals will always be tied to her. I guess it's time to pull the plug on facebook -- which BTW, is probably once of the most painful places if you going through a break up.

[bluebaby]

I totally feel for you. This is exactly my same problem...like away from the computer I'm empowered, feel like I can say I'm getting over it and I won't check his facebook ever again.

 

But put me anywhere near a computer, where I can see his public profile or through friends profiles, and I can't resist the urge to look whatsoever. Even with no direct contact, I see all his photos, who he's been with/seeing and every event he goes to or thing he's doing. You'd think I'm getting some sort of satisfaction by putting myself through this pain!

[bart]

completed day 2, which was hard considering i was home most of the day & on the computer, but i did it!

[HPZOOM]

completed day 2, which was hard considering i was home most of the day & on the computer, but i did it!

 

Congrats bart. I KNOW how hard it was to do it. But like I said, you will get to that point, that we discussed.

 

Slowly but surley.

[everybodyknows]

i hate facebook. i look at his STUPID profile even thought i know it will do me no good whenever a friend who is friends with him logs on. I want to clock that stupid @%%wipe in the face. Every time I see his stupid face or look at his status updates, living life like everything is okay (i'm doing it too), i just want to rip him to shreds.