Crazyaboutdogs Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 The way some people treat their partners maybe being the cat lady wouldn't be the worst thing. Isn't that the truth...I actually know a lot of women who would have been better off single...although married, their husbands treat them so poorly and without respect....bottom line is that they never found love either even though they got married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jazzykat Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 She's a cat lady because she never met the one. She tried and finally just gave up. That's why it's sad. Nothing against cats, I have one (a dog too) it's just she's sad because she never found love. How do you know all of this? ....Oh right okay, I just saw the part where you say you spoke to her.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavenderdove Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 Any kind of stereotype just is that... a stereotype! Some of the happiest people i know are people who work in animal rescue and have all kinds of animals and may be alone due to being widowed, divorced, or just never married, or they may be married! There are 'hoarders' who end up wtih 100 cats, but they are mentally ill and it has nothing to do with ending up that way because they don't have a partner, it has to do with their mental illness so you won't spontaneously mutate into that person because you're alone and older. And not surprisingly, most people, women especially DO end up alone when older because men die earlier. So having a partner is no prediction of how you will 'end up'. Regardless, life is about the journey and the here and now, so that is what you should be focusing on, not worrying about some nebulous stereotype that might not even be what you think (i.e., most cat ladies are quite happy with their circumstances, in fact, happier than many married men/women). And no i don't own a cat... LOL!! I just hate when i hear people come up with these stereotypes that are nothing more than a reflection of their irrational fears. Work on making your life happy NOW rather than thinking about what you don't have or all the possibilities that might happen in the future. You could marry tomorrow, then your husband die a year later... happiness isn't about being married, it is about living a full life and if you're lucky you find a partner you are happy with. But having a partner is no guarantee of happiness, and frankly, the wrong partner can make life a lot worse than being alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 She won't die alone. She'll die with a bunch of hungry cats crawling all over her. Awesome. And true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BriarRose Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 Isn't that the truth...I actually know a lot of women who would have been better off single...although married, their husbands treat them so poorly and without respect....bottom line is that they never found love either even though they got married. Or they stay out of financial need or they don't want to have to support themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 Yes, in your 40s, pickings are slimmer and clocks are ticking for people who want to have biological children . When I was turning 39 and started dating my husband, I had no problem meeting men to date - I had ended an LTR 6 months earlier and in that 6 months I dated one guy for 3 months, had been dating a guy who was serious about me for about 2 weeks when I reconnected with my now husband and had gone on dozens of dates and many second dates, third dates within the past 6 months. I met them through on line sites, at a holiday party, reconnected with a guy I had met on an online site in the past, etc. Only one of the guys I dated more than once was divorced, no kids - the rest were in their late 30s/early 40s never married. None of those situations worked out but I didn't find the pickings slim - and my standards were that they had to be marriage minded/want kids, at least college educated, same religion as me, comfortable with waiting until we were very serious to have sex (and other standards of course - chemistry, all the typical things, just listing the basics). Don't use the "slim pickings" excuse and the "there is only one person for me and he doesn't want me" excuse and then on top of that blame "god". You're going to radiate negative vibes and energy, for one thing, and that's not a real turn on to potential matches, you know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
u4me Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 Why is it if you're a woman with "a lot" of cats, you're the crazy cat lady, but if you're a woman with a lot of dogs, you're cool?! lol I happen to have both, but... I met a man when I was 50 who loved my cats, but wasn't so happy with the fact I had two dogs. Go figure. Our relationship was fantastic, right up until he cheated on me, cut me loose and he and the new one moved in together immediately. Two years later, they're going through the break up dance. I'm very content to be with my animals. That b****** put me through hell with the break up. Still plays games with me to this date. I can't even tell you the times I've started and broken NC. Day 11, today. I don't even take it serious anymore. Just a game I play to keep myself amused. Better go flip on the TV... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkly Eyes Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 Oh well. Honestly, in the grand scheme of things, it really doesn't matter. At the end we all just die. If you believe our souls are eternal, then living 40 years with or without love is not really a big deal, you probably have "forever" to find love. If you don't believe in it, again the same, life is not really that important to stress you this much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavenderdove Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 Why are you wasting your sympathy about how 'sad' some 'crazy cat lady' is, when she may be perfectly happy with her life and not feel 'sad' at all? She might think you are sad for feeling so desperate to find a man and that you think you are nothing or life is not worth living without one. A lot of these 'i feel sad' thoughts are either (a) a desire to feel superior and smug or (b) projecting your own fears onto someone else. They are basically a waste of time for everyone, yourself included. I'd focus on making your own life good, and let everyone else decide on their own how they want to live their lives without judging them, whether that is with 100 cats or anything else. And don't waste sympathy on someone who may perceive her life as being just fine... whether you feel sad or not is irrelevant to her life... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 I've never had a pet, but I hope I live long enough to be a "crazy android harem guy". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovelace Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Good thinking, blue spiral. I sort of wish they made those 'Real Dolls' in man form. Oh yes, that would be my harem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grai Posted September 19, 2010 Share Posted September 19, 2010 At least with no family she doesnt sit there wondering where her kids are and why they deserted her wait - maybe she does Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BriarRose Posted September 19, 2010 Share Posted September 19, 2010 Paid for house, doesn't have to work - things could be worse for her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wire Posted September 19, 2010 Share Posted September 19, 2010 First way to avoid becoming the crazy cat lady is to not own any cats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brightest Dark Posted September 20, 2010 Share Posted September 20, 2010 If you talk to this lady why don't you suggest she goes out to some places to meet some new people? Does she have no friends? How old is she? Instead of just feeling sorry for her and talking about her on here, maybe do something to help her. I'll probably be the cat lady (except I'm a dog person). I'd rather be single than with guys I'm not attracted to though. It's not our fault that we haven't found someone, but it's not that easy. Yes, you can try and do something about it - but at the end of the day, whatever happens happens. It's no good forcing the issue or dating guys you're not into just for the sake of being in a relationship. Some people are more alone and sad being in a relationship than if they weren't in one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BriarRose Posted September 20, 2010 Share Posted September 20, 2010 I agree with Brightest Dark. Let's face it, we could all be with someone if we didn't care who it was. While having someone special in your life is a beautiful thing, I would rather be alone than be with someone just to not be alone. I would rather be a cat lady than be without cats and with a man I did not love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shnoodle Posted September 20, 2010 Share Posted September 20, 2010 I'd like to think if life gives me nothing but failed romances by the time I'm old, I'll still find plenty of joy in life. I might still desire romance, but hey, I'll also still desire to win the lottery. Edit: Single or no, I aim to be a crazy cat lady. It'd be awesome to have my snuggle-buggle's face silk screened on to a snuggie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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