j1970 Posted July 28, 2010 Author Share Posted July 28, 2010 Not a good move on your part.....hopefully you cleared this up with her? Doesnt excuse her bizarre behavior tho..... Funny you mention that.. She understands perfectly how I was raised and the beliefs that were instilled in me, and knows how I fought against my parents for acceptance of my choice in a woman, etc. I battled them for a long time and they opened up. So I would like to think "yes". However, during one bad breakup we had, after like 50 breakups every few days, and things finally got squirrelly and out of hand, she said something like "I never forgave you for rejecting my kids at the beginning of our relationship, and I have been punishing you all this time"... essentially trying to hurt or reject me endlessly because she was hurt by my rejection of her "situation". But that was a long time ago, and she's voiced words of forgiveness, but I guess in reality you never really know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michaelhopes Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 I guess in reality you never really know That's it in a nutshell...... If it wasnt that excuse it would be because you kept leaving the toilet seat up One of my ex's left me because "I was never going to get out of the low paying industry that I was in" - I ran a photolab... One year later I chose a new career path. One year later she took her life savings and bought a photolab..... Go figure Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 is this just a plain ol' toxic relationship that should be abandoned? Yes..toxic relationship that should be abandoned. Do you really want to spend the next 5 years walking on eggshells with her...her emotional abuse and always playing the victim. Life is too short to waste on someone who is this messed up in the head and has no interest in fixing herself...just blames you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Funny you mention that.. She understands perfectly how I was raised and the beliefs that were instilled in me, and knows how I fought against my parents for acceptance of my choice in a woman, etc. I battled them for a long time and they opened up. So I would like to think "yes". However, during one bad breakup we had, after like 50 breakups every few days, and things finally got squirrelly and out of hand, she said something like "I never forgave you for rejecting my kids at the beginning of our relationship, and I have been punishing you all this time"... essentially trying to hurt or reject me endlessly because she was hurt by my rejection of her "situation". But that was a long time ago, and she's voiced words of forgiveness, but I guess in reality you never really know. She is a real nut job and she will find any way to blame you. She is just using that same old tired excuse for lack of anything better to justify her abhorent behaviour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j1970 Posted July 28, 2010 Author Share Posted July 28, 2010 In all fairness, this has ended up as a death spiral and I have been trying to power my (our, I thought) way out of it. I realize that you can't control someone into making a decision. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. If she read this thread, she would no doubt chime in about all the horrible things I did. To be honest, sure, I've done some pretty stupid things out of purely emotional reactions to how I was being treated. For instance, I broke a hard drive that I gave her, and ended up buying her another one and filling it up with stuff. I really only did stupid stuff when I felt completely overwhelmed by her rejection. So maybe I've got a screw loose as well... who knows. However, I have generally acted unselfishly and put our relationship and her needs first, before my own. I have been the one writing long, apologetic emails with pleas to communicate and work on our issues. I have been the only one who seemed to keep our relationship alive and try to protect it and nurture it. I have told the whole story, with my bad acts included, to others when asking for advice. I don't think she really told others that I was essentially her yo-yo on a string. Perhaps I valued what we had, or at least the potential of it, and she just plain did not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Closed upon request. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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