bertdru Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 What about the circumstances? For example, in my city, it is next to impossible to find a girlfriend, sexual partner, whatever. My only chance is arranged marriage (for which I don't have much money right now and let's face it, money matters). So my only chance at sex is to wait till I get settled in life and married (which will be around my thirties). Do you think it is so bad that a guy like me (who is in such a situation) would seek out prostitutes? Please consider the circumstances also before answering. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 I do not live in your community, so I cannot relate to your dilemmas. But, I wouldn't date a guy who went to a prostitute unless it was long in his past. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dancing_magpie Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 Would you have a problem if your future girlfriend had paid for sex? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bertdru Posted July 27, 2010 Author Share Posted July 27, 2010 Would you have a problem if your future girlfriend had paid for sex? Considering I am open to doing that, I don't see how I would have a problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkly Eyes Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 We can't really answer your question, the women in your city should answer that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nerdyjock Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 I would be less attracted to a guy who slept with prostitutes. You sound like you are justifying sleeping with a prostitute (keep in mind I do not consider "justifying" a postivie/negative thing, but as a neutral thing). Are you ok with possibly being judged by a prospective gf for this? We all do things that bring judgment upon us later whether it is right or wrong, good or bad. What if you go your whole life without sex again and you end up lonely and bitter and wished you had slept with prostitutes since you never had a gf? What if you sleep with prostitutes and you meet a lovely woman who loves you in every way except this issue and she dumps you? To me those are the 2 extreme scenarious in this situation. Since we have no crystal ball to decide which is going to happen, which is LESS miserable to you? There's your answer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dancing_magpie Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 Considering I am open to doing that, I don't see how I would have a problem. I was simply curious - some men who would be happy seeing prostitutes seem to be uncomfortable with the idea that their partner might want to pay for sex. Have to agree with the other poster though - what everyone else thinks doesn't really matter. It depends on who you end up with or want to end up with. Only her opinion will count. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annbuckley Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 Unless you are Charlie Sheen - or on a TV show - not a chance. You would never be trusted by your wife to be. Ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosephase Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 I have an ex boyfriend who saw prostitutes all the time. It really didn't bother me. But I was the first girlfriend he has ever told about his sexual past. A LOT of men try out prostitution. Most of them never tell there partners and because of that women today have a unrealistic image of men. Which makes it harder for those who want to be honest to step forward. You could just be like 99.999% of all men who see prostitutes and never tell your partners. I wish men didn't feel the need to hide it but I think that would take women being a lot more realistic and open minded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 That's nasty. I would never, ever get involved with a man who either 1) currently sees prostitutes or 2) even has a past of seeing them. It says something bad about his view on sex: that it's the physical part that matters, not the emotional part and that he doesn't mind paying money to some STD dirtball just get his jollies off. If sex ever really mattered on an emotional level to a guy, he wouldn't be getting prostitutes. I mean gosh darn, not only is it illegal, it's gross...nasty. Think of what you are risking for a quick sex "fix". BTW, I do not only blame johns for prostitution, the ladies themselves are also half guilty. But by participating, you are perpetuating a hurtful system. Shame on you. We all get horny. That alone I don't feel is enough to justify going out and boning a total stranger. YUCK. YUCK. YUCK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkinmoon Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 Personally I wouldn't get involved with a man who had ever been to a prostitute. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaliyah Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 I'd personally have a low opinion of a guy who slept with a prostitute. In my eyes it sort of makes you look desperate and pathetic. Not only that it makes me wonder about your self worth and values... I mean would you really waste money on a one night stand with a complete stranger who more than likely doesn't want to sleep with you in the first place? Using another human being as some sex object you can play around with and toss out when you're done? Most of the prostitutes have issues anyway, having to sell sex as a last resort to pay bills.. Some of them are in desperate situations where they have been kidnapped and forced into prostitution by pimps.. You paying and sleeping with them doesn't help their situation at all... Not to mention you're more than likely to catch an std with them since they've been with so many random men... yuck! But if you want to sleep with hookers.. that's on you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 I would much rather be with a man who slept with a prostitute once or twice in his life than with a man who made a habit of having casual sex with one night stands, FBuddies, FWBs etc. To me someone who has paid for sex in the past and then never did it again and was not interested in doing it again and then just had sex with someone within the confines of a committed relationship is more admirable than someone who can't seem to go more than a week or two without sex and is thereofore out there trolling for freebie sex with anyone who would agree to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
russ978 Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 As you can see from other people's posts...a lot of women don't view it as an 'ok' thing. I wouldn't think you would want to do it...but if you do, just make sure you don't tell your future girlfriend...just like you might not tell her about the time you masterbated to gay porn or a dog having relations with a woman...it really isn't any of their business and you don't have to share anything from your sexual past that you aren't ok with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkly Eyes Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 As you can see from other people's posts...a lot of women don't view it as an 'ok' thing. I wouldn't think you would want to do it...but if you do, just make sure you don't tell your future girlfriend...just like you might not tell her about the time you masterbated to gay porn or a dog having relations with a woman...it really isn't any of their business and you don't have to share anything from your sexual past that you aren't ok with. I'm sorry but our health IS our business. You can't test for everything and I wouldn't want to risk my health with a man who slept with prostitutes. So I take it you'd be ok if your future girlfriend was a prostitute in her past and didn't tell you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 I'm sorry but our health IS our business. You can't test for everything and I wouldn't want to risk my health with a man who slept with prostitutes. So I take it you'd be ok if your future girlfriend was a prostitute in her past and didn't tell you. You can catch diseases from the person who had one night stands or a casual FWB or FB. People are free and easy with sex these days and they don't have to do it for money in order to catch diseases. I have seen enough posts on this forum from people who had casual sexual encounters and then a week later started dating someone who then became their boyfriend in less than a month. There is most certainly a risk of disease being passed on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragon lady Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 Yes, I would be significantly less attracted to a man who had slept with a prostitute. First, I don't want to be with someone who can view women in such a way. It says a lot about his character. Second, I'd wonder why he felt the need to use a prostitute. If it was because he couldn't get it any other way, then that would be off-putting to me. I don't want to be with someone who had to resort to that. If some of the grossest and rudest men I know can get laid, I'd be wondering why that guy can't. If he was in a relationship, got "bored" and just wanted some fun on the side, I'd have an even bigger problem with that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkly Eyes Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 You can catch diseases from the person who had one night stands or a casual FWB or FB. People are free and easy with sex these days and they don't have to do it for money in order to catch diseases. I have seen enough posts on this forum from people who had casual sexual encounters and then a week later started dating someone who then became their boyfriend in less than a month. There is most certainly a risk of disease being passed on. Yes, but prostitute are just another matter. I cannot imagine a prostitute actually being clean. They sleep with hundreds or thousands of men, it's almost impossible (statistically speaking) not to catch anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
russ978 Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 I'm sorry but our health IS our business. You can't test for everything and I wouldn't want to risk my health with a man who slept with prostitutes. So I take it you'd be ok if your future girlfriend was a prostitute in her past and didn't tell you. I would be ok with it if I didn't know. As for the health aspect, you might be more at risk from sleeping with a prostitute but you're also at risk if you sleep with anyone. What you choose to share with your future partners is your choice...you don't have to tell them if you were involved in a gangbang, had a breif homosexual relationship, were abused as a child...any of those. Is a good idea to get tested before entering into an exclusive relationship, yes. Do you have to share your past? Nope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shnoodle Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 I would never date a man who has seen a prostitute, ever. I find it repulsive and desperate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostnscared Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 Nope. I agree with Fudgie. Is plain disgusting to me and I view sex as somethings sacred and something you do in a committed relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savignon Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 I would not date someone who had been with prostitutes, but just as much as it simply grosses me out (personally), it also would have me wondering why the guy was in such a desperate state as to pay for sex. Low self esteem? Doesn't think he can get a girl to pay attention to him without paying her? Can't manage to hook up on his own? I'd wonder about and be turned off by those things just as much as the disease factor, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkly Eyes Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 I would be ok with it if I didn't know. As for the health aspect, you might be more at risk from sleeping with a prostitute but you're also at risk if you sleep with anyone. What you choose to share with your future partners is your choice...you don't have to tell them if you were involved in a gangbang, had a breif homosexual relationship, were abused as a child...any of those. Is a good idea to get tested before entering into an exclusive relationship, yes. Do you have to share your past? Nope. "might be" more at risk? Nope, you are definitely more at risk, unless the prostitute shows you her last std checkup. Prostitutes sleep with multiple men EVERY DAY. Luck can help them just so many times. Sleeping with a prostitute is an irresponsible behavior, just like sleeping around with women who you don't know at all. It can be something you can forgive if it was done just a few times. But a man who did it continuously just can't be trusted imo. You can't just justify it by saying you could get std from anyone. There is a chance of dying in everyday life too, but that doesn't justify us going in the middle of highway standing still. Hpv is not something a man can test for and I would rather not take a high risk. How would you feel if you give your future wife cervical cancer? "oops, sorry, I didn't think my sexual past was of any importance". I don't mean to judge people based on mistakes they have done at some point of their lives, they happen to the best of us. But the idea of someone who thinks he can do whatever irresponsible behavior and then just get away with it by lying about it is just in not cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dancing_magpie Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 Hpv is not something a man can test for and I would rather not take a high risk. How would you feel if you give your future wife cervical cancer? "oops, sorry, I didn't think my sexual past was of any importance". A man who has had unprotected sex with many partners but never visited a prostitute could also still give his wife/partner HPV that could result in cervical cancer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waveseer Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 It does change my opinion of him because it speaks to how he views women in general. It's a lifestyle choice and I choose differently. I definitely wouldn't want to be seen as a high maintenance prostitute. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.