Fudgie Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 Yeah I think things are different in the South. My parents at me in their mid/late 30s. Same with my friend's parents. My grandparents did the same, and that's why I only have 1 grandparent still living and she's 94. It's crazy. I also know a lot of people like myself, who aren't going to have children. I know I sound crazy but I still haven't accepted that I'm of the child bearing age yet, lol. I know like one girl (from another school) who got pregnant from a boyfriend (of only 2 months, it was a mistake). She had the kid and all. Seeing the pics on Facebook was just like....surreal. I guess it's not so much that I think I'm still 13 or something, but I just...I don't know. Motherhood still seems so foreign to me. It's always been a "everyone else does it" sort of thing. But it's surreal to see people my age having kids. I'm like not ready for it, haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 My mom was just happy I graduated unpregnant, and unmarried, the one wish she had for us. woah, not a very high goal. i went to a magnet high school, it was opposite, only one girl got pregnant in our senior year. she and her sweetheart got married, and a few years later had a nasty divorce. 97% of my graduating class went to college. og - don't feel bad, like batya says, "not everyone" is having babies, getting married, etc.... waiting those extra years will pay off for you, when you are more mature and financially stable. besides, your 20s are fun, who wants to waste them changing dirty diapers??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 annie - It was the same thing with my HS. I went to a private school and everyone went to college. About a quarter of the class went to IVY leagues too. Pretty crazy. And yeah, not everyone is having babies. Your time will come when you're ready and financially stable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 Don't worry. I didn't get married until I was 31 and didn't have my son until I was 32. I don't feel like I missed anything important. BUT, all of my friends who had children at a young age feel like they have missed a great deal indeed! Relax, you will have the life you are supposed to have and it will be fine! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 19, 2011 Author Share Posted February 19, 2011 It is. My mom was my age when she had me, my father was younger. In the south were we are, it's a huge goal not to graduate with a kid or married. Sad, but true. Honestly? I want to spend my 20's changing diapers, and I know that is so strange to hear a 22 year old say but it's the truth. And it's not like I have this naive outlook on babies, like it's a magical situation. I have baby sat since I was an early teen and have baby sat children of all ages from an hour or so to a few days. It ain't easy, I know. But I have never been one to go out.. I hate clubbing.. I just don't want to do the things normal 20 year olds do, you know? I can sort of understand how Fudgie feels in that she's almost expected to want to be a mom (simply because she's a woman) while as I'm expected to want to 'live up' my 20's simply because I am 20. I know. Just sucks when you see everyone else around you getting what you want most in life. That and neitehr of us wants to be having kids after he's 40- so 36 for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 well, you're not getting knocked up any time soon, so go out and enjoy your last days as a single, free woman. even if that means sleeping in or being able to do precisely what you want for an afternoon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 19, 2011 Author Share Posted February 19, 2011 I'd rather be changing diapers and having sleepless nights. I'm such an alien, lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 you are. lol. but you'll still be plenty young when it happens for you. i feel strange - i've never had the 'urge' to have kids. i'm not opposed to it, but i'm not strongly for having kids either. if i accidentally got pregnant (especially by my non-existent husband) i would keep it. but i don't hear my clock ticking. i hope i don't wake up when i'm 38 and have a change of heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 19, 2011 Author Share Posted February 19, 2011 It's def. different for every woman. I have wanted kids since I was a kid myself, just one of those things you always know you want? My best friend thought she wanted them but was the kind of person if you thought about having kids she would eat them (haha) and then she had my niece and she's one of the best moms I know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 you are. lol. but you'll still be plenty young when it happens for you. i feel strange - i've never had the 'urge' to have kids. i'm not opposed to it, but i'm not strongly for having kids either. if i accidentally got pregnant (especially by my non-existent husband) i would keep it. but i don't hear my clock ticking. i hope i don't wake up when i'm 38 and have a change of heart. I'm finding that the ticking clock isn't really true. Those who want to be moms will always want to be moms. I don't believe that people who are ambivalent or don't want kids will suddenly wake up and be like "I WANT KIDS." Yes, hormones are powerful, but not that powerful. I think if you really want kids, you'll probably feel the urge by your late 20s or so. I had a rough childhood in terms of my sibs. I know for a fact kids aren't for me. I find that I don't like them either, probably because of my past experiences. But that is me. My mother was concerned when I declared when I was 4 that I would not be having any. But she has since accepted my choice. OG - it's funny because I am getting pressure from some people to "solidify" my relationship with B by marrying him. But what's the point? I'm in school, I can't live with him, etc. I see no reason to marry him just yet. People think it's bizarre that we've been together for 2 years and yet no engagement. Others suggest that I leave him for someone who can bear children with me because I'm "getting close to that age". Huh? I'm enjoying my time now. I love going to school, being in classes, in the library all the time. I'm a little tipsy right now on quality vodka. Life is good. This is how I want my life to be. I know I would not be happy with children. And it's funny because you're going to marry soon and have kids and you're getting pressure to "live it up" in your 20s. Ahhh let's switch haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 19, 2011 Author Share Posted February 19, 2011 I do agree with that Fudgie. I don't think people wake up and change their mind. I think they wake up and if they don't have marriage or kids they feel like they missed out it's almost they trick themselves into thinking it's what they want. haha, we should def. switch places. People keep telling me I'm TOO young to get married and we are doing it too quickly... It's so hard to explain how I can be 22 and wanting to change dirty diapers instead of 'living it up'. Take my best friend and I. We are the same person in so many ways and but at the same time, vastly different. When we were teenagers I stayed at home, did my school work, and (almost) never rebelled. She would sneak out, party, drink, smoke.. I never had the urge to be that 'typical' teenager, even then. I wasn't a prude or did not get into trouble but I was no were near as bad as some girls I went to school with. I never got wasted in HS, I never had that urge to seek out alcohol like most teenagers. I also never had the urge to date as much as possible before I settled down, finding someone to spend my life with was always more important than saying I had 'x' amount of boyfriends before I left HS or before I was 25. I'm weird, lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 The more I have going on and the more fun my life is, the more I realize that this time is all about me! I really encourage you to get out there and have fun. Being in your 20's doesn't mean the only fun you have is clubbing (which isn't fun) there is so much to do. Try something new Do something that scares you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 Yeah I don't think people just change their minds like that. I think some DO, like if they don't make their original choice for the right reasons. I know my choice to not have children is filled with non-emotional reasons and logic, as well as emotions. And it's not because "oh I want to have no responsibilities". I definitely know how you feel...only I'm opposite, lol. I spend a lot of my free time in hospice and love to take care of older people. I've done this since I was 17 and wouldn't mind doing it through the rest of my 20s, and beyond. You just know what you want to do, you know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 19, 2011 Author Share Posted February 19, 2011 You do. I have always wanted to be an Egyptologist but that ultimate dream job interfears with this dream of being a mom. It's not exactlly a 'family' job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 sherry, Yeah I know what you mean. It's good to have fun. I enjoy alcohol alone (I am STILL tipsy now lol) but I don't really go out to be social or go clubbing. But life can be fun without it. I love to go on walks, go canoeing/kayaking, eating good food, making out with B, driving to new places just to explore... Life is beautiful. (yes I'm a philosophical drunk - lol, dont' get me started) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 19, 2011 Author Share Posted February 19, 2011 Aren't we all philosophical when we are drunk? lol. I'm a talkative drunk, you can't shut me up once I get past the tipsy stage... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 Oh I'm philosophical and emotional drunk. If I have any more past that (which I don't do, because that's BAD for me), then I start falling over and dropping things. I'm coming off of it though. I am glad. I just watched Harold and Maude (finished it) and I was like crying at the end, feeling all inspired and such, haha. Once my tipsy feelings go away, I need to leave to walk to the college post office to mail away the Netflix DVD so I can get another soon. If I don't do it now I'll forget it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 19, 2011 Author Share Posted February 19, 2011 That reminds me, I have to put my Netflix dvd in the mail so I can get Titanic by next week! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 Is the Titanic movie on 1 DVD or 2? Cause I remember I have the VHS of it at home (LOL!) and it's so darn long it's on 2 tapes. Cracks me up. My next film will be a Nazi documentary that I have been meaning to watch for some time. It will be good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 19, 2011 Author Share Posted February 19, 2011 I hope it's all on one, it's one of the movies we have planned to watch and for SOME reason it's not on Instant. Would suck if I got it and it was only the first half. :s Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 If you look at the Titanic movie and it just shows as 1 DVD to add to your queue, then yeah, you'll be fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 19, 2011 Author Share Posted February 19, 2011 Hm, I think it's one, it only shows up once in the queue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 I always hated kids. Couldn't stand to be anywhere near them. NEVER babysat, hated the screaming, the mess, I just never thought about having kids. Then I found myself pregnant, hating it the whole time, had my son...and fell instantly in love with him and kids in general. I now teach kids and they are my greatest joy. So, yeah, people can definitely change their minds on that issue...oh yes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 19, 2011 Author Share Posted February 19, 2011 Oh I def. think one's feelings on the matter can change if you never wanted them and then have one but to just wake up one day (without already being pregnant) after a lifetime of not wanting them? I dunno... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 Yeah I'm skeptical too. I think it MAY be different if you got pregnant (like jigs said) then had the son. But I don't see people waking up and saying "hey, I disliked kids my whole life. I want to be pregnant now." I've experienced enough of kids to know that I don't want any part of them. I know some people (like newwave who was on here) did not want kids and then experienced a nephew or something and wanted them. This is what happened to an ex of mine and it was a HUGE reason why I took off. But if you've experienced kids/babies, like I have, over the course of a while and STILL think that you don't like or want them, then it's not happening. A lot of the things that I said when I was young still hold true today. There's a lot of people waiting on me to "change my mind" but it hasn't happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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