KH26 Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 Ohh yeahhhh! You'll have lovely pictures with the Autumn colours! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 What's done is done...what's the point in going on about it? I think it's great that OG and CS took it in stride and are working to better their relationship and to reconnect emotionally after having spent so much time planning their wedding. Now that all the planning is essentially done, they can focus on each other and anticipate getting married without as much stress. I am thinking of you both today since I know the 16th was your planned wedding date...I hope you get some video chat time and can find a way to make today special Thank you Saywhen. We did get to talk today and so far reconnecting emotionally after extensive wedding planning is going well. I'm sorry I didn't want to make anyone feel bad... I probably shouldn't have commented but when people come to ENA, they do open their life and choices for criticism. Heck I know it has happened to me a few times and I do get upset by some feedback. I wish OG and CS very well, I hope it doesn't seem like otherwise. You only open your life up for criticsm when you ask for advice, not jut because you are an ENA member who posts a journal. Is today shopping day with the bestie, OG? Will your niece come along too or does she hate shopping centres? I couldnt stand them as a kid (and not much has really changed Yes it was! I'll make another post about the trip. She likes shopping centers but when my best friend does intense shopping she doesn't bring her so she wasn't there with us today. Poo. I think fall colors will be better for outdoor photos rather than February slush. I do too, which is why I think it worked out in the end. That and it will fall on a Saturday so more family can come. Granted we have to do a little more planning with it falling on a Saturday- courthouses aren't open- but everything else is essentially planned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RougeKali823 Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 I'm sorry I didn't want to make anyone feel bad... I probably shouldn't have commented but when people come to ENA, they do open their life and choices for criticism. Heck I know it has happened to me a few times and I do get upset by some feedback. I wish OG and CS very well, I hope it doesn't seem like otherwise. This is totally correct. I recall OG exclaiming how much CS makes and how due to this he has been able to fly out pretty often. As someone in a LDR I have experienced this situation quite a few times and my fiance has waited for much longer for less significant dates. Had it been me and my fiance I would have expected that either he or myself would have changed the ticket by paying the fee or explaining to airline staff that it was our wedding day, in the hope of getting a comp switch. I have gotten tickets switched free of charge many times during my relationship so I know that airline staff (contrary to popular belief) can and will assist you if you are polite and assertive. I'm big on being assertive so even if my fiance hadn't been able to afford the change fee I would have expected an attempt. I mean for months OG has had a ticker and been posting about her wedding and now it was all for naught. @ Brazilgril21-ENA is supposed to be a place where people can express themselves so I don't think you did anything wrong by simply expressing what has turned out to be an unpopular opinion. I'm not criticizing but simply stating what I and I'm sure many other brides to be might have expected to happen had they been in this situation. I think that's all Brazilgirl21 was doing. Also I don't believe that wealth, or lack thereof, matters here. I believe that where there is a will there is a way. However, you two seem content with everything, so I wish you well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 Granted we have to do a little more planning with it falling on a Saturday- courthouses aren't open- but everything else is essentially planned. Does that mean you might use a celebrant? Because if so - you get to write your own vows!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 Fall weddings are awesome!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 Are some of you just blind? THE ISSUE HAS BEEN EXPLAINED TO DEATH. FFS just appreciate that noone can understand someone elses financial situation, noone understands or knows the intricacies of their lives better than them - they could NOT have gotten married if he came the next day (as OG's family couldn't have made it - they had to take the day off to be there on the original day) and we've MOVED ON. This is now just rudeness. Arrgghh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RougeKali823 Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 Are some of you just blind? THE ISSUE HAS BEEN EXPLAINED TO DEATH. FFS just appreciate that noone can understand someone elses financial situation, noone understands or knows the intricacies of their lives better than them - they could NOT have gotten married if he came the next day (as OG's family couldn't have made it - they had to take the day off to be there on the original day) and we've MOVED ON. This is now just rudeness. Arrgghh There was just a post by OG citing a comment made by Brazilgirl21, less than 20 minutes ago. Clearly it's still relevant. If you post a public journal then other users are able to comment. Just because what they say is unpopular does not mean they lose that right, unless they are being disrespectful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 Okay everyone, I'm saying this and this will be the last time. Yes, CS makes a good living but as he said, he pays for the bulk of our trips since I make far less. In doing so, he isn't left with much cash. I am sick of hearing how other people would have handled the situation and how my fiance did not 'try' or did not 'attempt' to come see me. You know what all you nay sayers can do don't you? Are you in this relationship? Do you know our financial situations fully? You can say you would do this and that but until you are in that situation, you don't know what you will do. And for the record, I think any woman who would make her fiance sit in an airport for any length of time just to catch an airplane so he didn't miss their wedding is a selfish person IMO. It's not all about you as the bride, it's about you as a couple. CS asked me did I want him to stay at the airport and I told him no, no question about it. I was not asking that of him. To say he did not make an attempt to come see is rude and extremely judgemental. ONE board member had these same questions and PMed privately. I had no problem answering them as I don't expect support simply because of who I am-- you got questions, I'll answer them. Everyone else has deemed their opinion worthy enough to post on my journal and insult my fiance by insinuating he did not attempt or put enough effort into coming to see me. So my last word on the matter is anyone who would make their SO sit in an airport for any length of times needs to rethink if they really need to get married or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 there was just a post by og citing a comment made by brazilgirl21, less than 20 minutes ago. Clearly it's still relevant. If you post a public journal then other users are able to comment. its still relevant because you people wont drop the damn subject already. If you have a question or issue how my fiance and I handle things, PM us. Don't clog my journal with unsupport. And when a decison has been as clearly this is, keeping the issue going IS disrespectful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 Sorry - had a bit of a spaz. What did your bf get, OG? I'm still no further in finding a dress for the ball. I'm thinking of getting a short sleeveless cheongsam online just a s a summer dress (that's like a traditional chinese dress - I think they are beautiful and my H loves them) but - even though I can find a lot of cheap ones online I find it so hard to bring myself to spend any money on something that is just for me because I'm making hardly nothing at the moment (literally less than 1/10th what H contributes). My H works so hard for the money he makes that I just can't bring myself to spend what is essentially the money he makes. He'd tell me I was being silly if I said this to him but its how I feel. So I keep looking at things but I can't make myself buy anything. And even though I make money with teaching - I just don't feel its enough (and if that's all I had to support myself - I wouldn't be able to do more than just live day-to-day really). I really have to do something about feeling this way. Otherwise I'm not going to be able to buy anything for 5 years! I'll be wearing holey clothes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 Does that mean you might use a celebrant? Because if so - you get to write your own vows!! Yes, just a matter of finding someone since most priests won't marry you unless you are a member of their church. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 So on too happier topics! I went shopping with the bestie today. I have to say I think I'm lacking a very crucial gene when it comes to being a woman... I hate shopping. I don't know what it is but I just don't like it. I hate going into a bunch of stores... I hate looking through things.. I just want to get in and get out. M (my best friend) is the opposite. She LOVES retail therapy. And I think it also has to do with I'm a very frugal person... I can't spend a lot of money on something and so I tend to do my own shopping alone because of that. Like today, M bought about $400 worth of stuff and I think I spent $60 total. All I got was this cute blue tank, some work out pants, a new wallet and change holder, and I got a french manicure (CS told me to treat myself as I deserved it after the last few days). But M spent like $90 on a pair of shoes and I stood there like o.0 I just can't do that... it's not in me to do that, lol I had fun though. we went to lunch as well and chatted and got caught up on things. Apparently my niece is a Justin Bieber fan.. *groan*. And her divorce is finally going through... I'm happy for that. She's found a far better person than her ex was and I think with some time, she will want to get married again. She just picked the wrong person the first time around. I talked to CS on the phone today a little so we got some talk time in. He had lunch with his gran today so we both kept busy. I think the emotional drainess hit him today and he was super tired- he really is my old man. We have a date to watch Days of Thunder tomorrow, I'm looking forward to it. First time in a long time we have watched a movie together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 I love clothes, shoes, makeup, all the girly things, but I hate crowded malls and I hate shopping! When I do go shopping, I seldom spend less than $200-$500. That way, I don't have to go shopping again for awhile. I love jewelry and that is one thing that will get me out of the house to shop for! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 Oh that would be pretty! I can't buy things, I'm always thinking 'will I really need this' or 'how will this be worth it?' We went into a Coach store today and my jaw dropped at the $200 purses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 I don't like shopping either. I know its very disappointing to my MIL who thought "yay, I finally get a daughter and can go shopping with her". But unfortunately I Hate shopping. I just walk into those stores - see lines and lines of clothes that just aren't even that inspiring - and just want to go home. It's really rare that I see anything that I really want, anyway. I like things that look unusual but still really pretty - and its rare that I see something that fits that description. I think I'm more of a chocolate therapy person than a retail therapy person Or massage therapy.. Was it a fairly easy divorce? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 I love clothes, shoes, makeup, all the girly things, but I hate crowded malls and I hate shopping! When I do go shopping, I seldom spend less than $200-$500. That way, I don't have to go shopping again for awhile. I love jewelry and that is one thing that will get me out of the house to shop for! I can never drop that much! To me I spend like $50 and that's over spending to me. I do love jewelry though. And for me it doesn't have to be expensive but I love wearing rings, necklaces, earrings, braclets. Make up I buy at Walmart, shoes I won't spend over $20 on a pair and clothes I go for what is comfortable. I have no style, lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RougeKali823 Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 its still relevant because you people wont drop the damn subject already. If you have a question or issue how my fiance and I handle things, PM us. Don't clog my journal with unsupport. A lot of assumptions are made on ENA. I mean just because Brazilgirl21 is wealthy doesn't mean her opinion holds no value. I won't be PMing as I don't have a vested interest in this marriage lol. However, I will restate that just as I cannot say what is right for you and your fiance, you cannot know that a bride-to- be who expects her man to wait in the event of a flight issue-ought to rethink marriage. Marriage is about compromise indeed but it's also about sacrifice so I suspect that most successful marriages are aided by a certain amount of initiative. This is not to criticize CS as he seems like a very likable guy. I am just saying that not all women who would have given the go ahead are selfish. Things happen and plans change and all of us handle that reality differently. No one way is correct and/or indicative of whether or not someone is mature enough for marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 I love clothes, shoes, makeup, all the girly things, but I hate crowded malls and I hate shopping! When I do go shopping, I seldom spend less than $200-$500. That way, I don't have to go shopping again for awhile. I love jewelry and that is one thing that will get me out of the house to shop for! Well, online shopping is just perfect for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 I don't like shopping either. I know its very disappointing to my MIL who thought "yay, I finally get a daughter and can go shopping with her". But unfortunately I Hate shopping. I just walk into those stores - see lines and lines of clothes that just aren't even that inspiring - and just want to go home. It's really rare that I see anything that I really want, anyway. I like things that look unusual but still really pretty - and its rare that I see something that fits that description. I think I'm more of a chocolate therapy person than a retail therapy person Or massage therapy.. Was it a fairly easy divorce? Oh I agree, massage therapy. I'm that girl, lol It's the same for me. After a few stores I get board. I like to know what stores I'm going to, buy what I need, and go. Not hang around. It was a fairly easy divorce. They were married a year and he really was a scumbag. Truly but I'm biased, I"m her best friend, you know? She has primary care of C (her daughter) and I think he gets her... once a week, MAYBE two and that's all he wants. Hopefully it will be over quickly. I asked her today would she ever get married again and she said no but I told her she has always wanted a family (she's a child of divorce as well) and I think if she were to stay with her current guy for about five years with as good as he is to her, she will come back around to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 THANK YOU. This is the point I have been trying to make and the reason I said that in my post. You can not know what a bride to be or groom to be is thinking or why they do things. You can only put yourself in their shoes and say 'I would do this and that'. Just as I can't call a woman selfish for wanting her fiance to make the sacrifice, means that doesn't mean my fiance did not try his best simply because he didn't act how 'other fiances' MIGHT act during that scenario. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 You know.. all through my life, when the $ was not an issue and I was single so I wasn't saving for a family or the future - I had no desire to spend on things like super expensive clothes or shoes. In fact I had no clue why girls loved shoes. I was like "you just put them on your feet, who cares?" Now - when I no longer make much $ and do have to think about saving for the future - NOW I finally see that shoes are just beautiful!!! LOL I don't know what happened. It's like the universe went "mwahahah - now that you can't have those shoes - I'm going to see that you want them!" When I'm finally at a point where I don't have to worry about saving and I'm working full time again - I'm going to get some of the highest heels I can. I found a perfect pair online but they were $300 (and that was on sale!!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 I couldn't do that- the price and the heel, lol. I wear flip flops all year long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 It was a fairly easy divorce. They were married a year and he really was a scumbag. Truly but I'm biased, I"m her best friend, you know? She has primary care of C (her daughter) and I think he gets her... once a week, MAYBE two and that's all he wants. Hopefully it will be over quickly. I asked her today would she ever get married again and she said no but I told her she has always wanted a family (she's a child of divorce as well) and I think if she were to stay with her current guy for about five years with as good as he is to her, she will come back around to it. Yeah - it's probably way too fresh for her to be able to imagine being married again. That's pretty dodgy that he wouldn't want to see C more than once or twice a week. But if he's that much of a jerk maybe that's best for C. Poor kid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 Yeah - it's probably way too fresh for her to be able to imagine being married again. That's pretty dodgy that he wouldn't want to see C more than once or twice a week. But if he's that much of a jerk maybe that's best for C. Poor kid. Exactly. When she was a baby he really didn't do anything. M had to constantly beg him to help her give her a bath... spend time with her... and when M wanted an hour or 2 to herself and asked him to watch her, he would call his mom. 0.o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 Wow. Did he change or was he always that irresponsible and selfish? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.