OptomisticGirl Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 Most people who were there were there for the mundane reason that they worked for a living and that was the time they needed to be there. I believe it was timed with that in mind. It's unfortunately that simple. I just think to think of it like that cheapens those people's deaths, you know? They died because they were killed by terroists. I chose to look at the tragedy as such that no one on that day died without reason. There was a reason those specific people were put on that plane that crashed into Pennyslvania. They had the courage to stand up and make it so that although they died, 1,000 more weren't killed that day. And even those who weren't on that plane, they died for something. Not that cause the terroisits believe in but for a reason none of us know. I refuse to even try to understand the reasoning. I do believe one of that reason was to unite this country. For a short while after the attacks we were united like we hadn't been since Pearl Harbor and it showed us, as a country, we could be brought to our knees just as quickly as any other country. It put a massive dent in our egos and I believe it made us a better people because of it. I have always been proud to be American but after 9/11 I was even more proud to be American. And I think that was largely because of how I viewed the tragedy. Yes, those people were there because they had to work but some called in sick, some were running late... no one knows why things happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophie274 Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 Ah I posted something but never mind. In spite of my personal penchant for politics and interest in foreign policy ... to me, those deaths served no higher purpose. No cosmic power taking people to their deaths for the "greater good" - it happened because people planned and executed and those deaths were absolutely senseless. I don't mean that in an ingenue way - of course the attack had political purpose - but some sort of fate or meaning ... not for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 Unfortunately your theory means that the people who happened to not be there that day are alive for a reason - which means that the people who did die somehow died for a "reason". I still think it's easier for those who didn't have personal connections to those who died (or had to escape) have a far easier time thinking of this as "this was to unite the country". I would never say that to someone who lost someone as a way to help them -- I am quite sure it would offend them and in my opinion, understandably. I don't think most of the victim's families and loved ones find any comfort in trying to find a reason other than perhaps a reason found in their religious beliefs. Obviously whatever works but I respectfully disagree with your analysis of the tragedy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 Unfortunately your theory means that the people who happened to not be there that day are alive for a reason - which means that the people who did die somehow died for a "reason". I still think it's easier for those who didn't have personal connections to those who died (or had to escape) have a far easier time thinking of this as "this was to unite the country". I would never say that to someone who lost someone as a way to help them -- I am quite sure it would offend them and in my opinion, understandably. I don't think most of the victim's families and loved ones find any comfort in trying to find a reason other than perhaps a reason found in their religious beliefs. Obviously whatever works but I respectfully disagree with your analysis of the tragedy. Exactly. But as I said, that is how I chose to view the tragedy and how I processed it. And I would never say that to someone who had lost someone in the tragedy, but it's the view I take to get through it as I did my sexual abuse as a child. If I had the mentality that 'nothing happens for a reason' then why was I abused? Why did it happen to me? Why did I have to be one of million of statistics? I overcame that sexual abuse because I looked at it as it happened to make me who I am, that is the reason it happened. It was a horrible thing to happen and I would rather have not dealt with it but in having gone through, I am who I am today. It made me the woman I am today and I would not have overcame it if I had looked at it as 'there is no reason this happened, it just happened'. That wasn't my analysis of the tragedy- it's my own personal view of how I, as an American, got through it. I did not know anyone personally in the attacks but I am a part of this country and while it didn't effect me on a deep personal level, it effected me none the less. You don't have to agree with how I dealt with the tragedy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 Today was such a better day. No crying! lol CS and I webcammed for like 4 hours today, the most we have been able to because of our work schedules. Obviously I got flowers today (yay!) and we had a sort of deep conversation today, touched on a subject we had touched on before but we went deeper with it today. I have a shopping date with my best friend tomorrow, looking forward to that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 You should google flower pressing/preservation so you can dry a couple of them out and keep them forever. I wish I'd done that with my roses! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 My mom told me to freeze one and I was like 'and how do you expect me to get that over to England when I move?' hahaha I'm def. going to press a rose and a daisy though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 ha ha - that's hilarious - so who's your favourite on the Bach? I'm in a funny position where my favourite is Emily, but I don't want Brad to end up with her because I think she deserves something .. a little different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SayWhen Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 I saved a rose from the first bouquet my fiancé ever gave me, and one from when we got engaged. We will each have one with us when we get married...I am a huge fan of scrapbooking so flower pressing/preservation is something I enjoy...I think it'd be great for you to save one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 I am rooting all the way for Emily, lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brazilgirl21 Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 I just caught up on all this and I don't even know if its appropriate for me to give my opinion: but I don't think CS handled the situation very well at all. You have been so excited about this wedding day, planning everything, getting everything ready... and he couldn't manage to get a later flight or a flight on the next day?? I just have a hard time believing he tried that hard. I travel ALL the time and have been to heathrow a few times... in fact my friend just travelled from Heathrow to meet me in NYC and he missed his flight too because of a work meeting and was able to get another one in the next day. Actually in a time spanof 12 hours. He did pay a fee but honestly, you were getting married, couldn't he afford the fee? Like I said, I hate to be posting this and make you both feel bad but it's just how I felt reading this. Like it was not fair to you and CS should have tried harder. Missing a wedding day? Just seems like to much of a big deal to me... specially considering we live in a global world nowadays with 1 million and 2 airlines. I have a VERY hard time believing he wouldn't be able to get another flight... Even if he had to pay a 200-500 fee. Heck, I'd send him the money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
civilservant Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 You know what you can do don't you? Who the hell do you think you are exactly? I'll tell you who- a typical ENA member that is quick to call an execution on relationships. I'm sick to death of this place and being judged for making a decision. Were you there? No. Do you know our financial situation? No. And as for 'feeling bad posting it' here's a little tip. If it makes you feel that way it'll make someone else feel that way- so don't bother. *breathe* And relax...... Anyone for a cup of tea? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 All flights were booked (and they over book planes nowadays). We (not just he) could not afford the fee because of the fact we were getting married. This is a major LDR, both of our incomes go into seeing each other and while CS makes a great living, flying to see his fiance every 3 to 4 months is taxing on one's income to the point there is not extra money. Sure, he could have paid the fee. But we wouldn't have been able to eat during our honeymoon. More importantly, even if he had taken the Friday flight, we wouldn't have been able to get married. Having my family therei s important to us and the way we had the week scheduled out (and him using money to pay for the fee) we wouldn't have been able to drive the 2 1/2 hours to my home town just to get married because we would have had to spend the night there (there is a 24 hour wait on marriage licenses). I can understand how from an outside view people think he didn't try but what everyone is forgetting, this was not just my wedding. This was his wedding as well and he was heart broken he missed it. He tried as hard as he could and we both came to the decision we did together. It was not just him, it was not just me. It was us, together. Financially it made more sense. Honestly, while I'm sad we didn't get married this week, not having the wedding doesn't bother me. Marrying him was never the 'end' goal to this trip... seeing him he was. And I believe the reason we are able to so easily move the wedidng back is because we know we will get married.. doesn't matter when, doesn't matter how. And in a way this worked out better for us because we are looking at a Saturday date now and more of my family can be there that wouldn't be able to this time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KH26 Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 I can understand where they're coming from too, BG. I think if I were in OG's place I'd have been feeling quite selfish about it all tbh and would have wanted him to wait till Friday. But think I would have calmed down and looked at the bigger picture. I think they're handling it very sensibly. I asked OG too why they couldn't just look at other flights. But I can see why paying more and not having spending money would be a problem, especially for your honeymoon. Even if it is longer to wait (which must be heart breaking for OG and CS), can imagine that their honeymoon and wedding will be better if they have the money too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 I had a plate with a piece of pizza on it. Jasper was laying beneath it (it was on a shelf) and he reaches up and before I can stop him he knocks the plate off and the pizza hits him in the head. He goes, "meoooowwwww' like he's just been clobbered with a hammer. He's def. his father's son. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KH26 Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 Haha awww dramatic cat! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 That he is. I just caught up on The Bachelor. Gah. I hate getting caught up! And after the last video played Hulu said, 'You have been watching Hulu for more than 3 hours, want to take a break?' Um, no. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KH26 Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 Going to sound stupid but is that a TV serious? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 Yeah, one of those reality love series were 1 guy has like 30 women to chose from and week by week he sends more home til he gets down to one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KH26 Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 Oh right! There's a show on over here at the moment called Take Me Out. There's a bunch of like 30 women and they get a few different men on each week and the women have to decide if they want to go on a date with this guy or not. If they don't they turn their lights off. Then at the end the guy has to choose one woman to go on a date with. It's so awful! But I can't help loving it lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 It's so sad that I love reality tv shows but I do. I can't stop myself from watching them, lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KH26 Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 Lol I like some... but wouldn't admit it usually haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 I am too but we don't get enough here on free to air TV. I wish we got bridezillas and all the Bachelor/Bachelorette series but nope.. nada (unless you get cable and even though everyone else in the country has it - I grew up without it and refuse to pay for TV Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 I watch Bridezilla too. I can't believe some women act like that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 BG - I read in one of your threads that, as someone from a wealthy family, you thought nothing of spending several hundred dollars on a bag to save walking a few extra yards in a mall to buy a less expensive one. I have also followed threads where you fly home on weekends, fly to New York or Florida or LA. Most people don't live like that. They can't afford to blow hundreds of pounds on hotels and extra flights - they live on a day to day basis and just don't have the sort of money that you are fortunate enough to have. I understand that rich people live lives somewhat insulated from the harsher realities that most people have to cope with but perhaps this will prompt you to take a look and see how other people have to deal with the vagaries of life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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