OptomisticGirl Posted January 28, 2011 Author Share Posted January 28, 2011 Aye what a day! I have been up since 7 am, AGAIN. Wonderful. I did try on the corset today with the wedding dress and was so happy it fit and you couldn't see it thorugh the dress. I did however realize how wide I look with the strapless dress and have decided to put straps on it. The alteration lady said it would only cost me $10 so I was like, SCORE! lol, dropping the dress off tomorrow. I got a rash at work. :s Well, maybe not a rash. I have sensitive skin and sometimes when I rub up agianst something I break out in this rash like thing on my arms (the part that rests on the table). I think I rubbed it against the cafeteria table today and it's awful. I have a badnage on it now but it hurts when I touch it or anything. ugh. I have having sensitive skin. God, I'm also not off til Tues or Wed of next week. Long stretch. >. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted January 28, 2011 Author Share Posted January 28, 2011 Well. I was taking a shower just now and had a complete idiot moment. This is my normal routine in the shower: Wet hair Put shampoo in, lather Wash Rinse shampoo Add conditioner Shave whatever needs to be shaved Use shower gel Rinse conditioner And done Well, I was on the use shower gel part and I usually use a poof to apply it to my body. I couldn't find mine so I just squirted it in my hand and was going to apply it.... so I squirted it in my hand and instead of applying it to my body I put it in my hair. :s Major fail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetpea03 Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 lol. it's just an off day. I do things like that from time to time. I was so tired the other morning, I had poured my cereal in and then the milk, then went to the pantry to put the milk away! yea, don't know what I was doing there... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted January 28, 2011 Author Share Posted January 28, 2011 I have tried putting the box of cereal in the fridge before, haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted January 29, 2011 Author Share Posted January 29, 2011 Alright, I decided to write this ramble before I eat. A bunch of us girls were talking at work tonight and the subject of impending marriages came up. Me and 3 other girls are getting married this year (I'm the first and the other two are in May I believe). Anyway, there is this CNA that I swear never has a positive thought to save her life. Ever. She's always a downer and we try to stay away from her but she traps us sometimes. So she asked how long we had been with our guys. All 3 of us answered--1 girl had been with her guy for 5 years, the other 2 years and I said a year next month. The negative CNA looked at me (And I saw the look come over her face and I think I literally clenched the table to prepare myself) and proceeded to tell me I was too young to get married and that we were getting married to soon. *blink blink* I was like okay. I took a deep breath and just let it roll off my shoulders trying to take a page from CS's book. Then she asked me was I in school. I said no. She gave me this 'poor pitiful creature' look and then told me that because I wasn't going for a degree it meant I was not an ambitious person and without a degree I couldn't do much in life. Yeah. I in no way tried to stop myself after that one. How dare someone judge another person like that! My God. You know, I'm a frank person and will tell it like it is but really?! You don't know me from Adam! You don't know that I hate school and that I always did poorly in it or that if I were to get a degree it would be to teach history but the only way I'd do that is if the only classes I had to take to get it were history. But it's not. I suck at every other subject but history. You don't know that my real dream is to be a mom (I was then told that was a stupid ambition in life to have) and that while education is important and I will always push my children to do it, it's not a high priority for ME as a person. I don't believe you have to have a degree to do well in life. In some fields yeah, you have to have it but plenty of people do well without degrees. CS doesn't have one and he makes a dang good living and he's only 26. And you most def. don't know how ambitious I am. You don't know that I'm writing a novel (er, trying to) and that one day (hopefully) seeing that book on a shelf will mean more to me than any diploma on my wall ever could. How can someone judge you like that? And then she started in on the marriage thing again. She asked me was I sure CS and I would never get divorced and I said no. She of course pounced on that and I quickly silenced her on that one. I said it's like this, there is not a SINGLE relationship on this Earth that the two people involved can say 'no, we will never get divorced' because you know why? You DON'T know. Even the most solid, 'proper' relationship can end just like that. I have said it before and I will say it again: Marriage (And relationships in general) are like a dance. You find a partner and you dance and especially in a marriage, you have to dance together in harmony. Sometimes you are going to stumble and go off beat but the point is to always get back into the right rhythm and avoid the potholes. If you don't avoid the potholes, it's the end of your marriage. People often accuss me of having a unrealistic view on marriage when in reality, I have a pretty realistic look to it. I"m a child of divorce. I of all people know what it's like when a marriage ends. I don't know if CS and I will make it--I hope we do and I have faith we will--but I'm not going to sit here and say 'oh yes, we will never get divorced and survive the odds' because I don't KNOW if we will. I don't have a crystal ball just as no one else does. I'm not doing thigns the 'proper' way. I'm not going to college and dating for the approriate time (which apparently in your early 20's is 3-4 years) before getting married. And to top it off, my fiance isn't even on the same continent as me. Yep. Nothing about our relationship has ever been normal and I love that about us. So while I may not be doing things the way they should be, I dang well am doing them MY way. I will not live my life by other people's standards of what is right and wrong and dictate when I take that next step in my life. If I did it wouldn't be my life I"m living, now would it? I don't know if us getting married now will be a mistake in 10 years. I hope it isn't and I believe it won't be but I don't know. No one enters marriage thinking of divorce. It's not like my best friend married her ex thinking 'oh, in a year we will get divorced'. You don't know were your relationship will take you, and that goes for even the normal relationships. *deep breath* And I'm done. lol. Just had to get that out... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 :S maybe next time go stone cold and give them a wry "I appreciate your constructive feedback, thank you" and give her a really bored look? One of my close friends at the time and I had a falling out over many issues, all of them wedding related. One of those issues was her belief that I was getting married too soon (engaged at 14 months, wedding at the 2 year mark) and the golden rule according to her was that you get engaged at the 2 year mark. If you weren't engaged around the 4 year mark then your bf didn't love you enough. If you got engaged before the 2 year mark your r'ship was certain to fail. Talk about ridiculous.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted January 29, 2011 Author Share Posted January 29, 2011 I never think of the good sarcastic come back in the heat of the moment. That's CS's department, lol Most of what I ranted I did say but a good bit I thought about after the fact, you know? It's just a sore point with me. And then when you defend your relationship people are lke 'ohhh, if you were secure you wouldn't defend it.' .... wouldn't you defend your relationship if someone were bringing it down? :s Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetpea03 Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 .... wouldn't you defend your relationship if someone were bringing it down? :s I used to defend my relationship early on, but I have stopped. I figure I can try to defend my relationship until I am blue in the face, but really it won't do much. They can think what they want, but the only opinion that matters to me is what V thinks. I know my relationship can be looked down upon by others, but I really don't care. Yes, he is 10 years older. I know everything that goes along with it and have thought long and hard about what I want and if I would be willing to stay with this man. I also know he has a different background than me. He was born and raised in Mexico, from a poor/working class family and came to the US with his green card when he was 18. None of it has ever bothered me and it has only made me love and respect him more for all that he has done and what we have been through together as a couple. We've been together long enough to know each other well and ride out the tough times. We have helped each other through rough spots and become stronger. People can say what ever they want, but it means nothing to me. I can take advice and look at it, and if they have a point, I'll address it. Otherwise, I will just do as I see fit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted January 29, 2011 Author Share Posted January 29, 2011 Exactly. I have always been an emotional person in the sense if I'm asked something or confronted with something, especially when it's direct at me, I'm going to talk about it and take it to heart. It's just who I am. CS is the more laid back kind who lets things roll off his shoulders. Sometimes people say things and it goes in one ear and out there and then there are the ones who think they know it all and that's when my Irish temper comes up. Ugh. It sucks, but I wouldn't trade him for the world. I know he loves me, I know I love him, and I know we are in this relationship for the right reason. Of course if we could we wouldn't be in an LDR but that is what life has dealt us right now. Sucks but we are rolling with it, lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetpea03 Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Exactly. I have always been an emotional person in the sense if I'm asked something or confronted with something, especially when it's direct at me, I'm going to talk about it and take it to heart. It's just who I am. CS is the more laid back kind who lets things roll off his shoulders. Sometimes people say things and it goes in one ear and out there and then there are the ones who think they know it all and that's when my Irish temper comes up. Ugh. It sucks, but I wouldn't trade him for the world. I know he loves me, I know I love him, and I know we are in this relationship for the right reason. Of course if we could we wouldn't be in an LDR but that is what life has dealt us right now. Sucks but we are rolling with it, lol. I think an important part of being in an "unconventional" relationship is learning how to let things roll off your back. If you take every comment and thing said personally, you will always be upset. There will always be people who say negative things, so it is you that has to learn to deal with it effectively. I think in the beginning few months of my relationship I did not handle the criticism well, but now I am very strong in myself and in my relationship. Though it takes time for that to happen, to really learn the best way to let those comments slide. You've been together under a year, so it will take some more time, but it does get easier. I try more to think logically to comments than emotionally. If I let my emotions take control, then it would not be good. I always make sure that what they say isn't actually something I should be listening to. I know if they truly had a point about my relationship, I'd really look into it. Though most comments I have gotten were just the typical rude ones and name calling. None of which has any standing for me and I ignore all of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted January 29, 2011 Author Share Posted January 29, 2011 Exactly, and I'm slowly learning to let go of that emotional side and be more relaxed about it. For the most part I am.. but tonight I had to do two people's work and period cramps started, I was not in the mood to hear judgements from that woman, lol. Don't ask me why but I just realized our one year anniversary is next month... lol. I have been so focused on Feb 16th I completely have not even registered that the 23rd is a year. Aye. I'm slacking here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 I never think of the good sarcastic come back in the heat of the moment. That's CS's department, lol Most of what I ranted I did say but a good bit I thought about after the fact, you know? It's just a sore point with me. And then when you defend your relationship people are lke 'ohhh, if you were secure you wouldn't defend it.' .... wouldn't you defend your relationship if someone were bringing it down? But you will get tired of defending it I think.. because I have a feeling the nay sayers will be around even after you have kids. They'll always be able to say things like "but don't you regret getting married too soon" and you'll just get sick of saying "no, [long explanation of why it actually suits you and who you are and your personal goals] and will just have to settle for "no, f*** off" (or something a bit more civil but to the same effect) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted January 29, 2011 Author Share Posted January 29, 2011 But you will get tired of defending it I think.. because I have a feeling the nay sayers will be around even after you have kids. They'll always be able to say things like "but don't you regret getting married too soon" and you'll just get sick of saying "no, [long explanation of why it actually suits you and who you are and your personal goals] and will just have to settle for "no, f*** off" (or something a bit more civil but to the same effect) hahahah, good point Circe. And I imagine it will come to that. Kind of is already to be honest. It's like you try to give people another perspective on the world and some aren't accessible to it. Idk, maybe it was the way I was raised. I was raised to always have an open mind, to constantly learn and to to try to see a point from many perspectives and that every opinion to some degree can be defended, even if you don't believe in it yourself. I guess I try to impart that to the world and it just doesn't happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetpea03 Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Exactly, and I'm slowly learning to let go of that emotional side and be more relaxed about it. For the most part I am.. but tonight I had to do two people's work and period cramps started, I was not in the mood to hear judgements from that woman, lol. Don't ask me why but I just realized our one year anniversary is next month... lol. I have been so focused on Feb 16th I completely have not even registered that the 23rd is a year. Aye. I'm slacking here! I feel like I'm looking into my own past. lol. We all go through certain types of 'phases' in a relationship(honey moon phase, then this phase, then that...) and I was like that a few months ago. You're 5 months behind where I am, and it's weird to see where you are and how you handle it all because I can see how I did with my own relationship at that point in time. It's kinda crazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted January 29, 2011 Author Share Posted January 29, 2011 I feel like I'm looking into my own past. lol. We all go through certain types of 'phases' in a relationship(honey moon phase, then this phase, then that...) and I was like that a few months ago. You're 5 months behind where I am, and it's weird to see where you are and how you handle it all because I can see how I did with my own relationship at that point in time. It's kinda crazy. There are days were they just roll off my back but when I have had a bad day and I hear it, I"m more prone to react, lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted January 29, 2011 Author Share Posted January 29, 2011 I finally slept good last night! Yay! I fell asleep about 1-1:30 I guess. A nurse at work last night was talking about this supplement she takes to help her sleep, Melatonin. It's apparnetly a natural occurring thing in the body that as you get older it becomes out of wack and some people have to supplement it in order to help them sleep. She gave me a few to try at home (you can buy them at Wal Mart in the vitamin section) and I have to say, I think it helped. Even when I did wake up, it didn't take me long to go back to sleep. Pretty much it just tells your body 'okay, it's night time, time for bed' whereas my body is wired for some reason to be MORE active at night. Ugh. Have to work today, tomorrow, and Monday and then I'm off, yay! Sooo ready for a day off. The other person called in yesterday so I was left with everything. I'm getting really tired of that.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KH26 Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Have you ever had a moment were out of the complete blue you felt this over whelming sense of love for someone? Just read this (bit late) and YES! We went to visit Tom's parents earlier this month. He's been telling me since we first met that he can play the keyboard really well. But mine doesn't work and he hasn't been able to show me. So we got his old keyboard at his parent's working. He was playing a really cheesy boy band song but OMG it was beautiful! And I just thought ah I love you so much, was overwhelming. Couldn't stop smiling at him for ages lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KH26 Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Oh and Melatonin, isn't that what gives you a sun tan too? Something to do with the sun isn't it? Glad you slept better! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
civilservant Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Oh and Melatonin, isn't that what gives you a sun tan too? Something to do with the sun isn't it? Glad you slept better! Thats melanin, its something different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted January 29, 2011 Author Share Posted January 29, 2011 I dropped my wedding dress off at the alteration lady today. Well I had to try it on so she could no how loose to make the straps and everything. Smartly I bought my corset along with me. So I put my corset on (thank God it has an alternative front clasp, ha) which still took me live 3 mins to get them all clasped because I would get half way up and the bottom ones would unclasp, lol Then I put the dress on and she clipped the straps in place and when I looked in the mirror it happened. I had the moment. When you go wedding dress shopping and you find the perfect dress that moment you try it on, you instantly fall in love with it. And i had that moment today. Before I was just still not happy with the dress, I think subconciously I felt it wasn't right up top. I didn't love it, I didn't think I looked gorgeous in it.... But now I love it! the straps were the right choice (thank you CS and everyone who weighed in on the straps!) And it even helped pull the dresw up so I dont need booby tape! I still need double sided tape for a small section on the back left, the lace on the corset wants to poke out but I can easily pin the lace down in that one area as well. The lady also mentioned I had lost some weight (which im sure was due to the corset even if I don't have it super tight, lol) and when i turned to the side, I looked slim! I didn't look pregnant, lol. I'm SO happy right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetpea03 Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 I'd be a little cautious about taking supplements. You can get the same effect of helping you to sleep by eating certain foods. When you eat foods high in carbs, as your body digests it, you naturally produce melatonin. That's why when you eat pancakes, waffles, etc in the morning, you tend to feel sleepy about an hour or so later. Turkey also is good food that will cause you to feel sleepy. You don't want to overdose on supplements, so try looking for the foods that can do it for you naturally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted January 29, 2011 Author Share Posted January 29, 2011 I didn't know that about carbs, hm. Yeah, I def only use it when my sleep patterns become wack. I have battled insomnia since I was five and its getting to as I get older, I dont.bounce back from it like i did when I was a kid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetpea03 Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Yea certain foods definitely help and it also can depend on what you do before bed. If you are staring at an electronic screen, it can make it harder to fall asleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KH26 Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Thats melanin, its something different. Ah yep that's the one haha thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetpea03 Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Thats melanin, its something different. I wish I had more melanin in my skin. I'm so dang white, it sucks. My friend who is half black, half Indian has the most beautiful skin! I'm jealous. lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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