OptomisticGirl Posted September 22, 2012 Author Share Posted September 22, 2012 Amazing how something as small as your back itching and not being able to reach it can send you into a flood of tears. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Amazing how something as small as your back itching and not being able to reach it can send you into a flood of tears. For which forks make a wonderful tool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted September 22, 2012 Author Share Posted September 22, 2012 For which forks make a wonderful tool. Haha. It's more than the itchy back. I'm itchy all over and there is no relief. And for some reason I really, really miss my husband tonight. And I don't feel 100%. A good cry was over due. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrose85 Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 I'm sorry you're having a rough time. I had to have a cry this week too. Sometimes it's just needed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted September 23, 2012 Author Share Posted September 23, 2012 That it is Red. I felt a lot better after my little crying fit, and then of course L called and asked me what was wrong and as I started to try to explain how I was feeling my voice cracked annnnddd the tears came again. He weathered the storm wonderfully though and got my mind off it. We talked about babies some and I always love talking about babies with him. Not really babies but kids and what we hope for them and such, it was kind of tide into our political/religious discussion. Only we could hold a political/religious discussion at 2 AM. I feel like I have calmed a lot in the baby department. I still want kids and if we were able to start trying tomorrow we would be on it in a heart beat but the reality of the situation is, we can't. And as I said before, that doesn't make me want to burst into tears like it use to. We will probably start trying in about 3-4 years (would put me at 28-29 give or take and L at 32-33) on the longer side of it. I know we want me to be as done with school as I can be before we start. My best friend is thinking of having another baby about the same time we would try so that would be super exciting for both of us to be pregnant together! That obviously didn't happen when she was pregnant with my niece and you kind of always want a pregnacy buddy and who better than your bestie? She and I are doing really well as well. She's going back to school (as I mentioned) and we will start at the same time, although I think she's going to quit working all together since she'll have school work plus raising my 4 year old niece. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrose85 Posted September 23, 2012 Share Posted September 23, 2012 Me too. I am perfectly content to gush over other people's kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted September 24, 2012 Author Share Posted September 24, 2012 Finally got my test date in the mail for school - Oct 1st. Yep, same day L arrives. Of course. Thankfully it's at like 8:45 am and I'm pretty sure I can swing it. The test shouldn't take more than 3 hours and I don't think L's plane lands until a little after 2. He didn't want me to be there super early anyway because it'll probably take longer for him to come out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangletsbang Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 I want a girl really badly but I want to conceive with myself......I really wish I could do that. I also wish I was rich and didn't have to work so that it would be okay to do that. But really, in my opinion, when you have that 'maternal instinct'..it's hard to rationalize delaying it. That's perfectly normal and you shouldn't feel like you're overly sensitive or dramatic if the thought of that does make you burst out into tears. You love L, L loves you..you want to reproduce and there's nothing wrong with that or being emotional about that. [i'm not saying you think anything is wrong with that though]..i'm just saying..children, your own flesh and blood..are very emotional subjects when you have that maternal need. Sometimes I'm in tears just thinking about how big Hayden is now. On a side note, I can't wait till yall are finally able to have babies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted September 24, 2012 Author Share Posted September 24, 2012 Thank you for that dang, and you are right. It's hard any time you want something, when you feel something really deep an you can't have it when you want it due to circumstances. I still get that tug when someone announces a pregnancy but it doesn't feel me with as much sadness as before, mostly because I look at the circumstances they are in and it isn't always the best. And I guess I'm beginning to learn to separate us from the 'norm' so to speak. Normal couples can mostly marry and try for a baby in about 1-2 years if they want. We just simply can't because for the next 3-5 years we still have a TON of immigration stuff to consider. We could have a baby but we know that wouldn't be the responsible thing, and we knew some things (like when we could have kids) would be sacrificed in L moving here. And I totally get the tearing up randomly. I'll look at Tyler sometimes and he is only my nephew and be SO overwhelmed with pride, happiness, and sadness. I any even imagine how I will be with our own child, lol Our children will have many aunts over the world, that's for sure! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrose85 Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 I don't think there is any "normal" Everyone does life differently, according to their individual situation Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 I don't think there is any "normal" Everyone does life differently, according to their individual situation I agree. There are people who have kids right away and people who choose not to. I know you guys can't but that is a situation for many people too. Not that it makes you feel any better but there are many people in the same situation. Late 20's is ok to have kids. Really. It may not be your personal ideal, but in life we get what we get. Being a young mother is not all it is cracked up to be. They say on average kids now days stay at home till about 26 years old or older. So even if you have kids at 24 you are still older when they leave so it is not going to matter much when you have them. How long now till your husband comes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted September 24, 2012 Author Share Posted September 24, 2012 True, but I wasn't seeing that for us, that everyone does things on their own time. For me it was feeling like I wanted us to be on a normal relationship's timeline - date, marry, baby follows shortly after - and if we could we would, but we can't. So I guess by 'normal' I mean how it normally works in an unhindered situation. You marry and if you want kids you usually can get everything in order before the marriage so you can start trying right after instead of being in our situation were something outside your want/desire is forcing you to hold off until its taken care of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 No situation is unhindered though. That is the thing. Life also seldom goes to plan. You have to go with the flow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted September 24, 2012 Author Share Posted September 24, 2012 I agree. There are people who have kids right away and people who choose not to. I know you guys can't but that is a situation for many people too. Not that it makes you feel any better but there are many people in the same situation. Late 20's is ok to have kids. Really. It may not be your personal ideal, but in life we get what we get. Being a young mother is not all it is cracked up to be. They say on average kids now days stay at home till about 26 years old or older. So even if you have kids at 24 you are still older when they leave so it is not going to matter much when you have them. How long now till your husband comes? I think for the longest time I felt an urgency because my mom had me when she was 21/22. For me having a young parent was the norm. But in having our goal set to move to Myrtle - and in doing so going back to school - it has cooled that urgency a lot. We easily could still have 3 kids before I'm 40 (everything willing). A week today Vic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted September 24, 2012 Author Share Posted September 24, 2012 No situation is unhindered though. That is the thing. Life also seldom goes to plan. You have to go with the flow. I know, I guess what I mean is how life should be. We all do it. There is a perfect way in which we THiNK life should run and we constantly compare our imperfect timelines to that fictional timeline until we realize there is no perfect time. Some people manage to achieve it but if you don't there is nothing wrong. It's what brought me comfort at least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 I think for the longest time I felt an urgency because my mom had me when she was 21/22. For me having a young parent was the norm. But in having our goal set to move to Myrtle - and in doing so going back to school - it has cooled that urgency a lot. We easily could still have 3 kids before I'm 40 (everything willing). A week today Vic. Yes, but you have to understand that your mom's age to have kids is really NOT the norm. It is the norm for when I was born but not for when you were born. It might have been the norm for your area but it is not the norm nationally. I am your mother's age and I had my son when I was almost 31 that is far far more the norm. You will still have lots of time hun. You are still really young. The more you put into your education and just being with your husband by yourself the more you will have to give your children in every way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted September 24, 2012 Author Share Posted September 24, 2012 Yes, but you have to understand that your mom's age to have kids is really NOT the norm. It is the norm for when I was born but not for when you were born. It might have been the norm for your area but it is not the norm nationally. I am your mother's age and I had my son when I was almost 31 that is far far more the norm. You will still have lots of time hun. You are still really young. The more you put into your education and just being with your husband by yourself the more you will have to give your children in every way. For when I was born it was the norm (I don't ever remember any of my fellow classmates having a parent older than 25 when they were born). It's not even about the age as much as it was about the timeline of our relationship and marriage. But it's not something that bothers me any more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 For when I was born it was the norm (I don't ever remember any of my fellow classmates having a parent older than 25 when they were born). It's not even about the age as much as it was about the timeline of our relationship and marriage. But it's not something that bothers me any more. Like I said it might be the norm for your area, but it is not a national norm for sure. The average age of a first time mother in 1970 was 21. The average age in 2008 in 26. I know too the more educated the mother the older she is likely to be at the birth of her first child. So you will be more in keeping with the average of today and the fact you will be more educated as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted September 25, 2012 Author Share Posted September 25, 2012 Tyler is spending the night with me tomorrow night, so excited! I miss him so much. It's so strange to go from seeing him every single day to once a few weeks. Should really make this spending the night at Aunt OG's house a bi weekly thing or so. But since he is coming just means I'll need to do my cleaning that morning or I won't get anything done once Munchkin gets here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renaissancewoman101 Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 When he stays over, is he hard to put to bed? Usually little kids, when they are at new places (or somewhere different than normal), they get real excited and wanna stay up and stuff like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 I miss my nieces so much I only see them every few months. I get to see them in two weeks when it is Thanksgiving. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted September 25, 2012 Author Share Posted September 25, 2012 When he stays over, is he hard to put to bed? Usually little kids, when they are at new places (or somewhere different than normal), they get real excited and wanna stay up and stuff like that. Not at all, probably because he is hard to put to bed in familiar places! He'll fight sleep like any child but once he's out, he's out. Now my niece (best friend's daughter) doesn't like to sleep any were but in her bed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted September 25, 2012 Author Share Posted September 25, 2012 I am so tired......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted September 25, 2012 Author Share Posted September 25, 2012 L's planes FINALLY arrived: image removed Thank God. Tyler may not spend the night, depends on if he screams for his dad and such. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huntress0527 Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 That looks like a lot of planes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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