OptomisticGirl Posted January 3, 2011 Author Share Posted January 3, 2011 V had no hesitation to pick me over the baby when I asked him. He said we can always have more children, but I can't get another you. I really don't know what I would want in that situation. I'm very protective and always want what is best for others, but I don't know. I guess I really won't know unless it happens and I pray it never does. Hope you feel better!! It's def one of those things you hope never come to pass but you know at any point in the pregnancy COULD happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetpea03 Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 It's def one of those things you hope never come to pass but you know at any point in the pregnancy COULD happen. Well with pregnancy, us women are more attached than the men. I know when I had my miscarriage, it was hard for me to get through. V was upset, but never to the point of where I was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted January 3, 2011 Author Share Posted January 3, 2011 Well with pregnancy, us women are more attached than the men. I know when I had my miscarriage, it was hard for me to get through. V was upset, but never to the point of where I was. And that's a part of it too I believe. Not saying men don't bond with the baby but there is that maternal instinct to protect that life inside you. I mean, look at miscarriages, like in your instance. Even though you couldn't stop the loss, that part of you that was that maternal instinct felt that lost tremendously. I have heard a lot of women who miscarried say the main emotion they had to over come was they felt like it was their fault they lost the baby, that as the mother they were some how suppose to protect it, even when there was nothing they could have done to prevent the miscarriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetpea03 Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 And that's a part of it too I believe. Not saying men don't bond with the baby but there is that maternal instinct to protect that life inside you. I mean, look at miscarriages, like in your instance. Even though you couldn't stop the loss, that part of you that was that maternal instinct felt that lost tremendously. I have heard a lot of women who miscarried say the main emotion they had to over come was they felt like it was their fault they lost the baby, that as the mother they were some how suppose to protect it, even when there was nothing they could have done to prevent the miscarriage. I had that feeling big time. I went through everything I did over and over in my mind thinking about anything that could have caused it. V kept telling me it wasn't my fault and there was nothing I could have done. It was a hard thing to accept. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted January 3, 2011 Author Share Posted January 3, 2011 I had that feeling big time. I went through everything I did over and over in my mind thinking about anything that could have caused it. V kept telling me it wasn't my fault and there was nothing I could have done. It was a hard thing to accept. It is, which is why even though I'm strongly for him choosing the baby over me, I also know deep down he coudln't but I also know he would help me through the emotions that followed that lost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetpea03 Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 It is, which is why even though I'm strongly for him choosing the baby over me, I also know deep down he coudln't but I also know he would help me through the emotions that followed that lost. I love V for being so supportive. He would just sit with me, while I rambled off about it or cried, and he'd be quiet and just hug me, occasionally saying something when he felt he should. It was really what I needed. I don't have the feeling of it being my fault anymore, but I still think about it. I don't think I'll ever forget about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 Well with pregnancy, us women are more attached than the men. I know when I had my miscarriage, it was hard for me to get through. V was upset, but never to the point of where I was. My friend who was here from overseas over the holidays - her first child miscarried around the 4 month mark. She said it was devastating for her - but her H recovered instantly. In fact there seemed to be nothing for him to recover from - he has a very - "oh well.. what can you do?" attitude about it. I'm sure he was upset inside but clearly not as upset as she was. I have to say - if I ever feel that maternal instinct it won't be until I get pregnant. From where I stand now - I have the same attitude as OG's mother - there's only one of each of us - we can always have another child and even if we can't .. well that's not as important as having us. To be honest the thought that I might ever feel differently scares me a bit. But I just can't imagine life without him and obviously he feels the same way (and your guys about you both). But these things are funny. I've thought about what would happen if I ever lost my husband. I feel really, really certain (as sure as I can be about something I havent experienced, anyway) that I would never be in another relationship. I feel like I could have happiness again and live a good life - but it would not involve another relationship. I feel like I couldn't do that.. not to him, but to another man. I couldnt set another man up to be second place. I feel like noone else could possibly measure up to my H and that its not right to be with someone else when you feel that way. Having said that - I adamantly want my H to find someone else if I die. I don't care if he doesnt love her as much - or loves her far more. I dont care if she doesnt measure up to me (as long as she still treats him good) or far surpasses me .. I just dont want him to be alone. I want someone to be there to look after him and look out for him as his partner. So I feel really strongly about both those things.. even though they kind of contradict each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted January 3, 2011 Author Share Posted January 3, 2011 I get teary eyed just thinking of CS not being there.. CS and I talked about that as well once. We both agreed we would want the other to find someone else. CS being the ever sweet heart said no, he didn't think he could. He'd retired and live out his days living by the ocean and finsih my novel for me. That was the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me and I swear I cried for like five minutes after he told me that. I don't think I would get another relationship after CS. Maybe, but it would never be on the level we have, and it wouldn't be for a very long time. And like you Indigo, I would just want to know he was being looked after and taken care of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 I really just hate to think about it. I can't imagine having a life with anyone but him. At any rate, it wouldn't be the same life at all if it were with a different person. My parents were married for 20 years and then got divorced. My Mom's life with her husband is like night and day compared to her life with my Dad. I guess what I'm trying to say is that there are multiple people out there for everyone, but we choose one to be with for as long as possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
civilservant Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 Funny moment for the day between me and CS while talking on my lunch break: *We were talking about the Concord airplane--CS LOVES airplanes. I think almost as much as he loves me. No lie* CS: "They were a beautiful plane." OG: "What did I say about using that word on someone other than me?" CS: "Well it's either gorgeous or beautiful, take your pick." OG: "Neither?" CS: "It's actually very sexy." OG: "So I don't need to dress up as a sexy flight attendant, I just need to get a costum that looks like an airplane and that will rev your engines?" CS: "Oh yeah. Flight attendants do nothing for me. What they are in does." OG: ".... Uh huh." LOL. Only my fiance.... Concorde has an E on the end, it's from the french word Other than that yes, I cant call another women those things, but this is an aircraft, and the old bird WAS sexy and gorgeous See? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 ^^ looks like those old concord planes! Sherry - I know on an intellectual level that you are right about that but it's still hard to fathom being with anyone else.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
civilservant Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 Thats because it IS Concorde Indigo I saw one take off once in 2001 at Heathrow, I've always loved aircraft and aviation, but that was something else. So graceful and pretty, but at the same time so loud. Ive never seen something takeoff the way it did, almost vertically after rotating. I suppose we Brits have a special affinity for the aircraft that we designed and built and that no one has even surpassed. It was such a shame when she was retired in 2003. There are rumors that one of the airframes are going to be resurected and hopefully put back into the air for a flypast at the opening ceremony of the 2012 Olympics, I really home that this is the case, ut'd be a real trat to see the Swan of the Skies back in the air again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 ^^^ oh wow! Yes, I was sad when they had to pack those in as well - I thought it was earlier than 2003 though - so that's a fair run at least. Was it because they were too expensive to run? They are beautiful planes. They kind of look like fighter planes crossed with commercial planes.. EDIT: I'm such a dufas - I only read the words I think I need to read.. so when you guys mentioned the plane type, I figured I'd have no clue about plane types - dont know planes - so my eyes just glossed over it. This is probably why Im so bad with faces. I dont expect to meet people again or expect to remember them - so I simply dont take the info in. I've actually introduced myself to one of my H's friends 3 times now.. its become a running joke.. how embarassing.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
civilservant Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 The first commercial flight was 1976, so they did have a good run, but still, it was a step backwards. When you think of technology, you think of things moving forward, when BA retired her it was moving back to the subsonic age. It was a few factors really. The crash in Paris in 2000 didnt help, and the airframes were approaching the need for a major refit. After the Paris crash they were redesigned, and went back into the air for the first time commerically on the fatefall day September 11th, 2001. That in itself really sounded the death knell. 50% of Concordes regular customers (and dont forget she could only carry 100 people, at $6000 for a round trip) were killed when the WTC collapsed, and she never had the customer base again. What with fuel prices increasing she was just too expensive. I just think it's such a waste that a single airframe wasn't retained for display flight purposes, that was a really shortsighted. I don't generally do regrets (and I would never have been able to afford it anyway) but it's a really regret of mine that I never got the chance to fly on her. *turns off plane nut CS* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted January 3, 2011 Author Share Posted January 3, 2011 Sherry- I def. agree we have people in this world we are meant to be with, and we kind of have more than one "soul mate" I know for me though, although there may be others if I lose CS, there will never be anyone like him. He is THE soul mate, if that makes any sense. Indigo- Do you see what I have to put up with? Planes, planes, planes. When we have a son that's going to be their nursery theme. Airplanes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted January 3, 2011 Author Share Posted January 3, 2011 I feel even more congested in my chest today. I'm seriosuly thinking of putting a thin layer of Vicks Vapor Rub on before I go to work, no lie. Also pumping myself full of medication. At least I can breath I suppose. Just wish I didn't feel I had to hock a lung up! I'm off tomorrow though, thank God. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 Indigo- I do the same thing when I'm not focused. This guy came to the NYE party and I totally didn't remember his face, though we've hung out 3 or so times before. I asked him if we had met, and then it clicked. Another time, I had a hockey party at the old apartment and invited friends from different groups. Two friends had just gotten married that December and the party was in June. My friend J had been their wedding photographer, yet I completely blanked and tried to introduce the three! Sooo embarassing. OG- Have a super hot bath, drink lots of tea and oj and rest if you can! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted January 4, 2011 Author Share Posted January 4, 2011 I can't do hot tea... ughhh. I did drink some coffee today though and it's starting to losen up in my chest. I can drink coffee 24 hours a day at least, lol. I have also been working the last two days and it hasn't helped because I haven't been able to rest. I'm off tomorrow though so def. going to rest! The lady doing my alterations called today before work. She's done with my dress! I don't get paid til tomorrow at 10 PM though (Grr) and I have my eye appt Wednesday before work so I won't be able to pick it up til thursday before work. Super excited to see how it fits! I'll post a pic once I pick it up. It's getting to that point I can't procrastinate when it comes to wedding plans now. I have got to email the lady doing our cake a pic of my idea along with the flavor and icing color. I also have to pick the dress up, order my lingerie (which I'm hoping will be able to double as me wearing it under my dress), order my cake topper, and order flowers. Whew. Our bands should dispatch this week hopefully to CS. Getting down to the wire.... My sister is going to do a trial run on my hair tonight, excited to start to see if I what I want can be done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 Aww I'm a little jealous, even though we couldn't even afford a justice of the peace, bare-bones ceremony right now hehehe. What is your cake going to look like? Post pictures of hair trials too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted January 4, 2011 Author Share Posted January 4, 2011 This is our cake idea: image removed Except our's is only going to be 2 tiers, the bottom 8 inch, the top layer 6 inch (enough to feed `15 people pretty much). The ribbon around the layers on ours will be yellow and I'll have purple daisies at the connecting layers. And this is our cake topper: image removed The hair trial was no good, lol. I forgot how unbelievable hard it is for my hair to hold a curl. No lie. My hair is useless to do anything with. That and my mom's curlers suck. Royally. So we are going to try it again next week when my sister brings her curler, see if it will work with a better curler. If not, we will try the hot roller option only have them loose and not as many. I hate my hair. >. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 I LOVE the topper Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 ^^ yes.. topper is so romantic!! I love gerbras - your cake is gorgeous. We were a bit too ambitious with our cake and it was a bit of a disaster on the night.. didnt taste all that great either! Oh well Dress done!! How awesome.. you're going to have so much fun in front of the mirror with it My hair is crap too.. I have this weird fluffy bit on the side part of my forehead which makes it impossible to have an updo and look good. And curls too don't stick with me.. my hair is too slippery. Can only keep curls with a LOT of hair spray - or if done under those old fashion machines that you stick your head under and sit under for hours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted January 4, 2011 Author Share Posted January 4, 2011 I love Gerbras too, my second favorite flower! Yeah, and all I want is loose curls. Grrr. My mom tried curling my hair for my senior prom and it didn't turn out good. They had fallen half way through the day She told me she was later told by someone you aren't suppose to wash your hair the day of you try to curl, something about the natural oils in your hair hold the curl but no wash my hair? Ehhhhhhhhhhhhh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted January 4, 2011 Author Share Posted January 4, 2011 Well the congestion in my chest is breaking up, although I'm not sure that is a very good thing as now I completely sound sick (lick I"m losing my voice) and am coughing like crazy. Took some cough medicine earlier. Geez. I'm off today (thank God!!) so def a lazy day of resting for me. I get paid tonight (woohoo!) so going to take care of some stuff as soon as the paycheck deposits. A book I ordered arrived yesterday as well. I hate going without having a book to read. I love reading. I could sit and do it for hours at a time (and do). However, how I hold my books is one of CS's pet peeves. Apparently my future hubby is the kind that reads without bending the spine of the book. I don't know how he does it really. To me, nothing looks better on a book case than the look of books with creased spines. Means they have gotten a lot of love and wear out of them. CS won't even look at my books because of this though, lol. I joke we will have to have our own separate book cases one day but it's really not a joke. It bothers him like not putting toilet paper back on the roll bothers me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetpea03 Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 I love when my books have creased spines. It means I really read them through and they got a good use out of them. Just like when my shoes getting a little dirty and worn, love that. It means I've really used them to their fullest. lol. I don't like keeping some stuff looking brand new. It looks too fake or something. I also can't stand when people don't put a new roll of toilet paper on the roll after they finish off the last one. It's such a simple thing to do. I used to get really annoyed when guys wouldn't put the seat back down, but have somewhat become ok with it. It'd still be nice if the guy did that though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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