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As always, very well said and thought out Sleep. I imagine you'd put some of the best philosphers to thinking.

 

very true thought. I guess we all do it some degree - the same cycles, although not always bad - or simply unable to let go of certain things. When it's just you however it's destructive but at least your only screwing your own life up, with a child in tow it's like... I don't know. It's mind boggling.

 

i see what you mean. looking around at the lives of relative innocents...those who have no true choice in the matter. that's a tough one to reconcile with.

 

i just find it sad...so sad. the tragic sort of sad.

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i see what you mean. looking around at the lives of relative innocents...those who have no true choice in the matter. that's a tough one to reconcile with.

 

i just find it sad...so sad. the tragic sort of sad.

 

I do as well. As a child that witnessed that tragic situation it really is tragic for me.

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My husband is adorable. I was telling h I wanted to try to get this outfit I saw on Pinterest - not the exact one because I could never bring myself to buy $200 shoes! - but use the outfit as a sounding board kind of for our anniversary dinner. He asked me to describe it and I said well its a dress which he seemed shocked/happy I mentioned it. The man has only ever seen me in one dress - my wedding dress - and then I said something about high heels. He asked why high heels and I was like idk, I want to put more effort into being girlie without sacrificing the tomboy in me and it would be nice to be able to wear a pair of heels and not feel uncomfortable. His response? 'Hunny you'll never wear a pair of heels and not feel uncomfortable - and I love that about you. I love the fact your a flip flop girl.'

 

Mr. L scored himself some more uninterrupted football time, lol

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I actually find dresses/skirts more comfortable than pants. You are totally free when wearing a dress, and skirts often have elastic waists as opposed to belted, denim waists. There are two reasons I don't wear them often: 1) You have to watch how you sit and 2) you have to wear a nicer shirt which means wearing a real (as opposed to a sports) bra. And that's why I opt to live life in sweats/basketball shorts and t-shirts!

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Hers - I jsut found the 10 min dance thing you've been doing on Netflix - I did not know they had so MANY of the 10 min workouts! Anyway, I had to pause to come say this......

 

I CAN NOT DANCE. lol

 

Seriously? I did not feel sexy in any way doing the hip thrusts or circling my hips. I wasn't even sure I WAS circling my hips tbh.

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I tried the Slimmer Down one? It's the first one on there. I felt so weird doing the hip swivel. And not to count I am extremely uncoordinated apparently. How this happened I don't know. I marched the hardest show ever written for a marching band while playing the hardest sheet music (on a flute at that!) and now I can't even do the damn grave vein step while doing the arm thing. It doesn't help that when I start something I want to do it perfectly, I'm sure that ties in with my OCD and marching experience some how...

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hahahaha. I feel the same way with dance work out videos. They make it look so easy and I always feel like a fat, uncoordinated idiot..I can NEVER get the dance moves down. That's why I stick to alternating jogging/walking...they aren't that easy to mess up.

 

that's awesome, OG..changing your diet is a huge step.

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Pretty good day at work. We are swamped with extra people because people in our department keep hurting themselves and our area is the area they get sent to when they are on 'light duty'. Some of these people don't know a shirt from a pair of pants to a hole in their head. But because of all the extra people we tend to get caught up every single day which doesn't leave much for second shift. L and my Facetime chat today consisted of football talk - I try to be a good wife. I had him explain penalty shoot outs which I suppose because I'm American just baffles my mind. I'm use to there being a winner and a loser due to talent, not a 'you win simply on the chance of luck'. Oh well. Although I did find it amusing that if our son wanted to play for England (in like the World Cup or something) he could since he would hold a British passport - we have such high hopes for our children, can't you tell? lol

 

When I got home - despite being tired and already sweaty - I did 50 minutes of pilates. Felt great. I don't know why I like pilates over the other work outs but I always feel like I have had a deeper workout with it. They have a yoga one, may try it next. There were a few moves this fatty just could not do. At all. Ever. I work first tomorrow so after working out and eating I showered and realized I needed to tidy up 'down there' - 40 minutes later I gave up and texted L and told him I loved him and was willing to go bare down there but he would have to do the shaving. I apparently missed that gene in the gene pool and it looks like a bloody battle field down there - mostly because I cut myself 3 times. >.

 

I hate being a woman sometimes.

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SO ironic! After running yesterday, I was like.."okay, i'm hot, sweaty..and I am OUT OF CONTROL down there..I need to shave." I haven't been lately since I haven't been sexually active..but it was getting pretty embarassing..so I put nair [for bikini area] on..let it sit for 6 minutes..but the hair still wasn't really coming off so I started just shaving..I ended up cutting the inside of my labia..

 

TMI, but I seriously hate shaving because i'm a perfectionist/OCD and it's like I can never do a perfect shave...then there's the fuzz near your butt.. i've considered waxing but i'm too shy to let someone wax me there.

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Lol! I bought these trimmers specifically FOr this problem and they suck butt. I take the guard off as they don't get rid of the hair. I'm going to bum L's when he is here just to get the job done! I thought about waxing myself but god, the pain... Not sure I can inflict that on myself. And I can't afford for someone else to do it. I think it's because I'm a perfectionist too Dang. And then I get the bumps and it just looks horrible.

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Lol! I bought these trimmers specifically FOr this problem and they suck butt. I take the guard off as they don't get rid of the hair. I'm going to bum L's when he is here just to get the job done! I thought about waxing myself but god, the pain... Not sure I can inflict that on myself. And I can't afford for someone else to do it. I think it's because I'm a perfectionist too Dang. And then I get the bumps and it just looks horrible.

 

I bought that trimmer too and it definitely does suck. Don't do the at home waxing!!!!!!!! I did it and it bruised me SO bad and made me bleed...not to mention it was horrifically painful. I don't get bumps anymore because i'm 'used to it'..but the best trick i've learned for shaving down there..use neosporin..or any kind of that triple antibiotic ointment down there immediately after shaving. I never had any bumps after I started using the ointment..I used it right after I shaved..and then once or twice the next day while it 'healed'.

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i have to check the brand of my bikini trimmer, but i like it. i've never done my own bikini waxing but maybe i'll try sometime. i certainly can't do the brazilian by myself though!! yikes.

 

anyway, now that you live alone, are you finding it easier to make healthy choices? i know your mom kept the fridge stocked with a lot of unhealthy foods.

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I'll have to remember the neosporin trick Dang. For right now I'm just going to keep it trimmed - L can deal with the cutting.

 

Yes and no Annie. I obviously get to control what comes in the house (there hasn't been a soda in my fridge since the 2nd week in June) and in the last 2 weeks I've made the effort to cook at home rather than buy fast food. But there are still those times were it's like 'now there is no one around to say anything, stuff your face with fast food!' But I don't think that voice will ever truly go away, tbh.

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