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I worked the day before my wedding, as did my H. Didn't see any reason not to as all the plans were made and everything done. But then I did faint on the morning of my wedding and hit my head on the bathroom tiles so I was clearly more stressed than I thought I was

 

I was actually really stressed. On the inside I was all "what am I getting myself into? Do I know how to be married? Is this the right move? Am I doing the right thing? I dont know what i'm doing? Is he going to stand me up at the aisle? ARGRGHHHH" - but I refused to acknowledge that so I shut it all out. I didnt even think about it. And it built into this enormous stress attack that took all the energy out of me the night before the wedding (I was literally overcome with this insane tiredness out of nowhere) and fainting on the morning!

 

I really wish I could go back in time and do it again. I would do it so differently. I would have cared so much more about the dress and the venue and everything.. I would have really enjoyed it. I think the truth was, I was so worried and busy suppressing the worry that I just couldnt really enjoy the wedding or the planning of it. I just did things very automatically. Thank full for me - the 20 minutes of our ceremony was insanely magical - but the rest of the wedding.. I should have put more into.

 

If I'd known then what I know now (that marrying him was the smartest thing I would ever do and the best decision of my life and that I could only hope to deserve him but that he'd love me heaps regardless - and that being a wife does come naturally) .. I wouldnt have worried

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Oh that's terrible you fainted!

 

I'm worried I'll stress over everything in general (I'm a control freak) and that is what is going to get to me. CS and I joke about him needing a pack of cigs and me a shot of alcohol but really, all I'm going to need is to see him, and I know I'll instantly calm down. Okay, I might need some coaxing at some point--haha-but he's my rock.

 

Thankfully I'm off two days before the actual wedding, but I have to work up until the day before he arrives. No reason not too really, his plane doesn't land til 5ish, I can get everything I need for the wedding together that morning and have it ready to pack in the car Tues when we leave to get the marriage license.

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Yeah I want mine in black, secretary glasses as CS calls them.

 

I ended up not going to sleep until 3 AM last night. No idea how I stayed up so long to be honest. Then I got up at 11, talked to CS for a little while before lying back down for a nap, then we web cammed for about an hour before he went to bed. He's going to call me ten minutes before mindnight my time so we will at least be on the phone together at midnight. I have been in somewhat of a bad mood today, stemming from my unusually schedule yesterday and the fact it's the week before my period no doubt.

 

It's odd, but for me, I get crankier the week before I'm on my period. The week of my period I'm fine. I get cramps, I deal with them, I'm not usually ill at all. The week before however.... 0.o I'm shocked at how I can act. Like today. Completely shouldn't have acted like that. Didn't even realize what might have been causing it until CS asked me, and then I remembered I was on the 2nd to last pills of my BC.

 

I hate being a woman sometimes....

 

No plans for tonight, going to make some strawberry daqs later hopefully and watch the ball drop in NY on tv with CS on the phone. Perfect way to ring in the NY I think. I'm off tomorrow as well (Whew!) so, another day to relax before working two days. My best firend is also coming over for a few hours tomorrow with my niece, super excited about that!

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Oh, I hate being a woman sometimes, too. Really hate it. lol. I can get really 'out of whack' sometimes when I'm on my period. Hormones can make me really emotional. Yesterday, I was super emotional from after taking the morning after pill. lol. My boyfriend was all nervous and asking if I was ok. I was like "yea, I'm fine.." teary eyed for no reason. ugh. don't like it.

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Oh you poor things - thats bad PMS I do get a bit more irritable at times in the day or two before my period but not always. I always do get a lot more hungry at that time though. And I dont get cramps but my legs get reeaally sore..

 

The eye make up looks so beautiful.. I love the eye shadow colour you've chosen - goes really well with the colour of your eyes.

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Oh you poor things - thats bad PMS I do get a bit more irritable at times in the day or two before my period but not always. I always do get a lot more hungry at that time though. And I dont get cramps but my legs get reeaally sore..

 

The eye make up looks so beautiful.. I love the eye shadow colour you've chosen - goes really well with the colour of your eyes.

 

I get hungry too. I eat CONSTANTLY.

 

thanks Indigo. i don't remember what shade I used... I think it was a dark brown, but I think for the wedding I'm going to use a lighter shade, like a pink or something. I want to go for a morning dew kind of look, au natural but still have make up on.

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HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!!!

 

CS called ten minutes before midnight and we were on the phone when the ball dropped in NY. Gotta love a man that wakes up at 5 am only to wish you a happy new year.

 

Here's to an even better year than last year!!! And only 44 more days til CS arrives and 46 til we are MARRIED!!!!

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I got up at 10 this morning ( to do some cleaning before my best friend came over for a few hours. It was great getting to see her and just sit and talk for a few hours, even if she did have to drive an hour to get here. We covered a wide range of topics and even talked about the day of the wedding. She was completely against CS and I spending the night before the wedding in the same room as well as him seeing me in my dress before the ceremony but I was like, "Is my MOH going to pick him up and bring him to the court house?" She was like, "Uh, no." I said "Okay then." lol. It just makes everything easier for us to only have one room the night before. I use to think I was dead set against it but it's just superstition really. Hopefully.

 

I woke up this morning and my throat hurts, my voice just sounds so much harsher than normal. And right now it hurts just to swallow. Ugh. I hate getting sick....

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