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When I was a little girl my Nana would visit me. It was really peaceful and somehow I always knew it was her. It only happened a couple of times. I think she just wanted to check up on us.

 

That sounds like a beautiful dream, OG.

 

I much prefer friendly family ghosts/angels to bad ones. *shudder*

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Me too. I think I've been visited by my Papa (my Nanny's husband) a few times in my life but I never knew him, he died way before I was born. But on those occasions were I thought it was him, it wasn't a panicked worry it was like last night. Except there was never that feeling of like a warm blanket coming over you.

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It usually doesn't bother me when people post stuff like that but it's mostly down to the person's attitude. This isn't the first time she's done it and she has a complete 'I have it worse than anyone else because my husband goes away for 24 hours at a time for his job' attitude. Well here's a cookie lady - try almost 7 straight months. She's even told a woman we went to school with (whose husband has been on 2 or 3 year long tours in the military) that she (the military wife) just 'doesn't understand what I'm going through'. I literally lol when I saw that. I know I have it rough but I always try to live with the mindset that someone else can have it harder than me. And the biggest one for me is military wives. We may be separated from our husbands for the same length of time but mine isn't in immediate danger, I will always default they have it harder than me any day of the week.

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Alex and I were discussing the possibility of me working in another city and coming home on weekends. That would definitely take some getting used to! We’d both be busy enough that we wouldn’t go crazy, but we’d kind of be living separate lives.

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Something like that would need an expiration date though.

 

I agree.

 

I met the friend I reconnected with for lunch today. She was on her lunch break so we only had an hour but we caught up and chatted. Then I drove to my uncle's house (which is were I'm at now). I told my uncle's wife about the whole visa situation and my feelings on it and she really helped me sort through some anxiety and control freak issues I've been having. Really helped me settle my emotions down a lot. That's why I come home.

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When we first got married, my husband was working for a client for about 9 months 3 hours away. So he would leave on Mondays by 5 am and get back late Friday nights, and he would work really long days to make the distance worth it (overtime). It was less terrible than it couldve been for us I think because A) we had been long distance for a long time and B) we didn't live together until we got married.

 

It was a tough way to spend the first part of our marriage, but I think the worst part was how exhausted he was. I was always afraid to make any weekend plans because I knew he needed the weekends to recover. Sometimes he would spend 10 days there over a weekend and then have 4 days at home which was somewhat easier.

 

Anyway, I definitely agree you can't do it forever. I am so grateful were past that, and I really admire the couples that are forced to live that way in order to get by financially.

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I sometimes wonder if we'd be able to handle that. I worry myself bc I love my alone time so much and I wonder if I'd just never want him to come home. I feel absolutely terrible with those thoughts, especially when I know so many people who are separated involuntarily from their spouses.

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It causes problems for sure because people become territorial. When my husband would come it felt like he was "encroaching on MY space" and the way I did things. I just developed my own ways that were not questioned so it did lead to territorial spats every time for a bit of time when we would come together as a family again. It has been 2.5 months since he has been back home and we were back to normal within a few weeks.

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For me I'm a huge introvert and big on my space and my alone time but I find I never think about wanting him to stay away even though I'm a huge introvert. I think because in a every day setting the spouse isn't there 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. They go to work too or leave you at home when they go to work so there's still that alone time balanced with no alone time. But I'll be happy when the distance ends, be it me moving there or him moving here.

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