OptomisticGirl Posted April 21, 2012 Author Share Posted April 21, 2012 OG, next time they want money, tell them no. They should REALLY be standing on their own two feet, they are in their 40's are they not? Time for them to grow up now. They can not have it both ways where they crap on you and then want money and your time. And I would tell THAT guy to stick it up his you know what. Oh I have. I mean for my mom I have no problem loaning when and were I can, but the only reason we loaned that much to them is because it was for my brother, things he needed to graduate and such. Yeah, mid and late 40's I believe. lol, L was pretty calm when I got back on the phone. He had called right in the middle of the argument and I was fumming, had to hang up with him to go take care of the building just to shut him up. When I finally got to call L back I was in tears and just kind of burst into more when we Face Timed. I could never leave my husband alone in a room with my step dad... I think that would be the one time my husband let go of that calm personality of his. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrose85 Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 stepdads are fun :S Sounds like he needs a bit of a physical lesson... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 21, 2012 Author Share Posted April 21, 2012 Geez. Sorry you have to deal with that. Those two need to be able to support themselves. Ya know, like ADULTS do. The only reason I even bought up the money was the whole 'you do nothing around here' statement. Really ticked me off. He actually then said as soon as they paid it back I was out of the house to which my mom turned around and told him he was not kicking her child out. Stood up for me at least... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 21, 2012 Author Share Posted April 21, 2012 stepdads are fun :S Sounds like he needs a bit of a physical lesson... Hm, yes. The water is even more muddled by the fact he was my molester. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 I'm sorry you have to go through this, OG. *Hugs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 21, 2012 Author Share Posted April 21, 2012 I'm sorry you have to go through this, OG. *Hugs* Thank you Heart. Just keep telling myself not much longer and I'll never have to deal with it again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hers Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 I didn't realize your stepdad was the one who did that to you. I thought it was your real dad. Idk how you bear to live with him. You're so strong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 21, 2012 Author Share Posted April 21, 2012 I didn't realize your stepdad was the one who did that to you. I thought it was your real dad. Idk how you bear to live with him. You're so strong. Oh yeah, no, not real dad. It all happened before my mom married him so at the time he was my mom's boyfriend. I think because of the way I healed in that very detached, clinical way is why it doesn't bother me. There is def. no being here alone with him, I have a lock on my bedroom door that only I have a key for, etc. That and with his job I only have to deal with him 2-3 days a week if I happen to be home on my weekend off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 you are so strong og. i cannot wait for you to move to be with L for good and away from this mess at home. i'm quite angry at your mom actually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrose85 Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 Okay now I am officially angry. I can’t wait until you’re away from all of that. You deserve so much better OG! I never knew it was the stepdad who did it. So sorry hun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 21, 2012 Author Share Posted April 21, 2012 Thank you ladies. It helps having here (ENA, journal) to turn to and vent, especially when my husband can't be there because he has to sleep in order to make important decisions, lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 21, 2012 Author Share Posted April 21, 2012 On a brighter note I'm super stoked about visiting England. We haven't told any of L's family yet, we are waiting on the visa approval and to see how the changes in June go down that way we can say 'OG is coming over for a visit and then we are applying' or 'OG is coming for a visit but because of x, L will be moving to the States'. My MIL has really been active in keeping in touch with me or touching base with L on a weekly bases now really so I can honestly say I'm really excited to meet her. Although the one I'm nervous about meeting is his gran because, well, I know that's the most important one to him. Same happened with L. He wasn't nervous at all meeting my mom but by uncle he was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrose85 Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 if L has to move there, where would you two like to live? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 21, 2012 Author Share Posted April 21, 2012 Myrtle Beach, hands down. We'd have to live here for a short while as I only make 1K below the current sponsor requirement of 18 K were I work now (and we can't afford to lose that or that stability at that job right now) but if he moved here we would be moving to Myrtle Beach. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrose85 Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 Good choice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 21, 2012 Author Share Posted April 21, 2012 We both fell in love with it on our honeymoon. We even have the back up plan if my visitor visa is denied of him coming here and us going back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrose85 Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 I could see you two living there easily. It’s too bad you’re so far away. I have so much beach to share with you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 21, 2012 Author Share Posted April 21, 2012 Yeah living 6 hours away kills me. At least in England I'll never be that far away! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 So your husband is going to move to the US? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 21, 2012 Author Share Posted April 21, 2012 IF they raise the income requirement even above his level, yes. We would have no choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 Oh ok...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 They must be moving the sponsorship level pretty high then.Some countries lower them for a spouse. I believe in Canada you do not need to make a certain amount for a spouse to immigrate, only other family members. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 21, 2012 Author Share Posted April 21, 2012 At 27,000 GBP it'll be almost double what it currently is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 It is going to 27,000? That is not too too bad. That is about 43,000 CAD. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 21, 2012 Author Share Posted April 21, 2012 That's the high end they want. It IS bad considering L doesn't have your average, minimum wage job and it would put us out of moving. Even the States isn't that high. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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