OptomisticGirl Posted April 14, 2012 Author Share Posted April 14, 2012 He has the same stomach bug I have plus a touch of pneumonia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 Awww poor little man. It is scary to have to take kids to the hospital. At least they found what was wrong with him before it became very serious. I hope he feels better soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 14, 2012 Author Share Posted April 14, 2012 It's def. scary, I hate to see him so upset and crying and knowing you can't do anything about it. While we were waiting on my sister to get to the house he was just sat in my lap and leant against me and kept putting my hands on his tummy, which was fire hot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 Yeah, awwww poor little man. It is harder with babies because they can not really tell you. And it is hard to comfort them because they don't know when it will end and they will feel better soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 14, 2012 Author Share Posted April 14, 2012 Good news, bad news. Good news: I get to see L the beginning of Sept (dates pending). Bad news: I won't be moving to the UK until Jan '13 We have been consulting a immigration attorney for awhile now. If your separated for more than 3-4 months after your married you have to show what they call 'intervening devotion', meaning your marriage is true, you have stayed in contact, and it's not just a marriage to gain access to the country. We've known about this and it was one of the risks we were taking in not having a trip between our wedding and my move. You can show intervening devotion by Skype logs and such and they have granted visas with no face-to-face before the move after a wedding. However today the attorney got in touch with L and advised us to push my move date back and do a trip, he had seen at least 3 couples denied on their intervening devotion evidence (with no face to face) in the last few weeks. They are cracking down and he highly advised we rethink strategy. So, we did. A face to face trip would completely give our application merit (on intervening devotion grounds) and it would be one less thing to worry about. We were gonna shoot for July but we -kind- of forgot England is hosting the Olympics during that time. L didn't have a lot of leave to play with either so we chose Sept (no birthdays on my end that month! Lol). L wanted to come here but I was like uh, no. I have a passport - I'm coming there! That and sending pictures with his family and us can only strengthen our visa. I bulked at first (as OG does) because it meant ANOTHER Christmas apart, another turn of the year apart... But after talking to Hers I started looking at the fact it's only another 2 months added on, I was bulking mostly on the emotional aspect rather than actual time. It still sucks - wont lie - but we have to do what we have to do. Granted this is all STILL depending on those visa changes in June. However we always said if they changed for the worst we would plan a trip while filing for L to move here. So that's basically what we are doing - no matter what way the changes fall (in our favour, against) we know for sure this trip will happen and can recact with however it turns out. Honestly the fact we have a solid plan takes a lot of me. The last few weeks have been hard on me to the point I was becoming almost depressed. I've never felt like I did in my entire life. Just the passing thought of the changes caused me to burst into tears and withdraw And I've cried myself to sleep every night the last 3 weeks. I just had no control, no assurance and it was slowly drawing on me. I'm still anxious about the changes but it's different now - I don't feel like I'm about to suffocate when I think about it or the urge to just withdraw and sleep all day. I'm just ready for it all to be over with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 Hugs....... I know you guys will work past this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 14, 2012 Author Share Posted April 14, 2012 Thanks Annie. It was a hard pill to swallow but we knew from te beginning it was a risk, we just didn't expect the reigns to be pulled this tight. I get to go on my first international trip though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 I would try a different adviser. Did you tell him about this thread on here - it would be incredibly difficult to forge something like this to try and fool immigration controls. I also strongly suggest that L goes to see his local Member of Parliament and get some advice. Most, if not all, MPs hold what they call 'surgeries' in their constituencies on a regular basis and you can find out when and where from the parliamentary website or their local party association office/website. Now, MPs cannot wave a magic wand and get the rules changed but all communications from an MP to a Secretary of State/Minister must be answered and looked it into and within a short period of time - and sometimes that is enough to move the process along. Most MPs get a fair number of immigration inquiries and they and their staff are very familiar with the process and can get answers fairly quickly. It might help to have an MP on your side. Remember that the immigration controls are there to stop illegal or spurious entry and that rarely if ever applies to US citizens marrying UK citizens - if anything it is the other way around. If you want some more info on this and why I know about it - send me a pm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 15, 2012 Author Share Posted April 15, 2012 The advisors STRONGLY suggust not to give the immigration more than they ask - such as the link this thread, our LDR blog, or facebook screen shots - as it could actually do more damage than good and give the ECO too much access. All the ECO wants is the documents the UKBA lists that they want - for a spousal visa pictures aren't even on that list, as the marriage certificate is the 'proof' of the relationship - but pictures (especially in our case) are highly suggusted to help prove intervening devotion. Right before Easter L did just that actually (but they are on Easter break right now I think?). I'll actually post the email he sent to his Member of Parliament (personal details excluded). This is a HUGE debate both over there and here and whether it would breach human rights and such. They've already cracked down on work and student visas (the details I'm not sure but now people on work visas must make x amount in order to get ILR I believe). I'll say this and if it leans too much toward a political debate (and I am not saying as my belief) please edit it out but basically they want to stem the amount of immigration coming into the country and by raising the income requirement that high, it will essentially half all of immigration since the average joe can't possibly make that - and L has a high ranking, higly paid job and can't even reach that mark. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrose85 Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 My heart sunk for you just now. BUT, at least it’s a solid game plan. I’m sorry you’ve been having such a hard time with it all. You know I am always available if you need to talk! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 15, 2012 Author Share Posted April 15, 2012 I know Sherry, I've been meaning to message you but I know your busy wrapping up school. It does suck, but I guess the 'light' is we get to see each other in 4 1/2 months. It's another good-bye (which I didn't want) but everything with the changes permitting it can only strengthen our app. I didn't even realize how hard it had gotten until today. L bought it up before I went to work and it took everything I had not to burst into tears with him on Face Time. Once our call ended I just grabbed Jasper, buried my face in his fur, and bawled. And then we had to discuss it on the way to work and I was almost in tears the whole time and just SO withdrawn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrose85 Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 Oh I’m not busy haha. I am slowly studying for an exam and working a couple of days a week **hugs hugs hugs for you** You’re so tough! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 15, 2012 Author Share Posted April 15, 2012 I haven't felt like the last few weeks, I'll admit. The trip has kind of given me a new gust of wind so to speak. Another perk is L and I can both look at houses together (maybe even sign the lease together which again will strengthen the app). I don't care if I have a say in it but it's something important to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
civilservant Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 DN- my MP is a cabinet minister. He's not exactly amenable to changing government policy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superfox Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 This makes me so mad on your behalfs. Why do they keep stopping genuine couples??!! Especially when the other person is from such a well developed country such as America! My neighbours can't speak english, neighbours on both sides. And their families all live in these two terraced house sandwiching mine, 7 in one and about 15 in the other - it's so wrong that you have to prove what we know and can see about you I need my former home sold before I can move over to my bf's. My ex has promised its be up for sale every other month for a year now. It's now up so fingers crossed. It's awful that someone else is in charge of your future and happiness. Just a question (don't take it the Wrong way, just curious!!!) but if you were pregnant to CS, would that count for you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
civilservant Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 Nope it wouldn't. An American child born to an American citizen wouldn;t mean anything - they, after all, wouldn't have any proof it was mine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superfox Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 Nope it wouldn't. An American child born to an American citizen wouldn;t mean anything - they, after all, wouldn't have any proof it was mine Ah, interesting! Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 15, 2012 Author Share Posted April 15, 2012 That and the weekly allowance would go up $50. And under the supposed new rules With a child L would have to make $50,000 a year I believe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrose85 Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 wow! that’s a pretty unfair rule. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
civilservant Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 Canada and the US have similar rules, you just have no real need to know that unless your in our situation! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 There is ALWAYS a way OG. ALWAYS. I know it must be so depressing to know there is more time to wait, but you will get there. Don't look at as an entire time frame. For now just look forward to your trip there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 15, 2012 Author Share Posted April 15, 2012 There is ALWAYS a way OG. ALWAYS. I know it must be so depressing to know there is more time to wait, but you will get there. Don't look at as an entire time frame. For now just look forward to your trip there. Thank you Vic. I was def. looking at it as a huge bulk time the first time but after calming down I realized it's ONLY 2-3 extra months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 I know it is so hard love. I know. Take it a day at a time if you have to. You will get there. * HUGS* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 15, 2012 Author Share Posted April 15, 2012 Thanks. Bright side - 148 days until I fly. (if the damn dates don't change for whatever reason lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 DN- my MP is a cabinet minister. He's not exactly amenable to changing government policy Like I said, they can't change the rules but they can make sure that they are applied properly. If your file has a letter from one Cabinet member to another in it, the authorities will pay close attention to making sure things are done properly. When an MP is a Cabinet member, his 'surgeries' are sometimes done by him but are often done for him by a neighbouring MP, a councillor, or his agent, if he has one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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