OptomisticGirl Posted April 4, 2012 Author Share Posted April 4, 2012 ^ my nanny did too Saffron, actually, lol. The laws are different in te UK as well on alcohol consumption By minors - another reason I chose to move - isn't it under 18 can have a drink or sip if it's at a meal and te over 18 orders and watches the under 18? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anya1607307555 Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 ^ my nanny did too Saffron, actually, lol. The laws are different in te UK as well on alcohol consumption By minors - another reason I chose to move - isn't it under 18 can have a drink or sip if it's at a meal and te over 18 orders and watches the under 18? Many establishments choose to follow the no alcohol under 18 policy, so you should check first. I found that out whilst celebrating my son's exam results with a meal and drink order in a well-known pub chain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saffron_ Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 ^ my nanny did too Saffron, actually, lol. The laws are different in te UK as well on alcohol consumption By minors - another reason I chose to move - isn't it under 18 can have a drink or sip if it's at a meal and te over 18 orders and watches the under 18? Y'know what. I'm not sure what the law is anymore with regards to adult supervised underage drinking. I remember as a kid when my parents took me to the pub they would buy me an alcoholic drink if I wanted one and I was told it was ok for kids to have a 'taste' of alcohol so long as a parent was present. The bar staff knew the drinks were being bought for us kids (this is in many pubs arounf the uk not just in my home town) and I don't remember my parents ever being refused. But public opinion has changed since then and as Anya says, a lot of places are cracking down on that kind of stuff. Hmmm I will have to look into that OG. Now you've got me wondering Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saffron_ Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 Oh ok, things have changed. link removed You can order alcohol with a meal at 16-17 (in most places) if an adult is present but in Scotland an adult does not have to be present. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 4, 2012 Author Share Posted April 4, 2012 I thought the ages were 16-17. I couldn't remember but had to look up the law in relation to our law for it for my visa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 Here the legal drinking age is 19. You can not drive with ANY alcohol in your blood however if you are 21 or younger. Here a "pub" is a place you go primarily to get food, they allow children, but you can not drink under 19. You can not however bring them into a bar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 4, 2012 Author Share Posted April 4, 2012 Yeah here the drinking age is 21. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 5, 2012 Author Share Posted April 5, 2012 Finally off. My boss gave me tomorrow for the funeral off - she actually insisted I go even though it's delivery day tomorrow. Thankfully I didn't have to buy a new pair of dress pants (the old ones I have in my closet SOMEHOW still fit me) but I had to pick up some pizzas for mom to make for dinner. I happened accross a cheap ($3) circle necklace that I picked up - something cheap but nice looking. My sister wants to bring flowers but my dad's girlfriend told her not to, they just wanted money (grievers, right?). While I was in Walmart I picked up a small bouquet of red roses. I hate roses personally but my grandmother loved them, many memories of watching her tend to her rose gardens are happy childhood memories. No idea if my father will let my sister put them in the coffin with her or even on the coffin, but I can at least say I bought her some. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 5, 2012 Author Share Posted April 5, 2012 So my brother calls my dad (my sister told them I was already in England so they wouldn't keep on trying to find me and get in contact with me) to talk to my dad. Our dad wouldn't say anything except basically he won't talk until he talks to me. So I've been gone for almost 6 years and NOW you decide you must make contact? No, I don't think so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 5, 2012 Author Share Posted April 5, 2012 Back from nanny's funeral. Such a long and exhausting emotional day. My BIL and sister stayed the night last night so we could all get up and leave at the same time. I was up at 7:30 to clean my car out and get ready myself and (somehow) we were all 4 (me, my brother, my sister, and BIL) ready and out the door by 8:45 am. The drive up to my hometown was upbeat. We were laughing, cracking jokes, talking. We pulled into the funeral home and one of the directors was outside and asked were we family or friends. I said we were the 3 grandkids and he told us to pull around and park in the motorcade line, so we were the 2nd car behind the hearse (the first was the one my father rode in). We went inside and were met by one of my mom's friends (who use to know my dad, she was the one who was married to the family friend that passed last March). My brother, sister, and BIL went into the viewing room and the family friend stood out in the waiting area with me. I saw an old family friend in my limited line of vision and he smiled and waved and I waved back. My dad's horrendous girlfriend poked her head out and I know she had to see me - she looked directly at me. But no father. My best friend arrived and I walked outside to bring her in. I'm going to pause and say that from the moment she got there until she left later, my best friend was amazing. Truly. I couldn't have L there physically to help me grieve and she completely stepped up to the plate to help me. She never ONCE left my side the whole day. Other people started arriving and a few of them recognized me and conversed with me before going in the viewing room (or caught me on their way out). Couple of papa's family members, old church friends of nanny's.... at one point my brother and someone else went outside to smoke and the bestie and I went out with them to just stand around. On our way back in I walked up the stairs and there he stood - my dad. L and I had talked about how I would react upon seeing him the last few days (more so early this morning) and while my emotional reaction was to turn and ignore him, L advised me to be the bigger person for one day, probably the last day I would ever see/hear from him. So I listened to my husband. I walked toward my father and he basically just kind of collapsed onto me in a hug. When he pulled away I got my first look at him in over 6 years and... he looked pitiful. I can't say my heart tugged in love for him but my heart did feel pity for the man he had become. He use to be so well polished and always looked younger than his actual age but not any more. I asked him how he was doing, he asked me how the flight from the UK was (because in order to keep them from trying to contact me my sister had said I was already over there). Small talk. His eyes were teary and at that time my Aunt (my dad's 1/2 sister) walked in and we conversed. My dad asked me was I going to go in the room and I said I didn't go into viewings, it was a personal decision. There were a couple more moments that my dad interjected himself near me - like when he asked me was I going to the graveside service and when he handed me a rose from my grandmother's casket. The rose. The funeral home had a small bouquet of flowers on her casket and other than the bouquet of roses I bought, no other flowers. So the roses that were passed out to the family members were from the bouquet I bought - or, some were. Eventually they gathered us all in another room for a prayer while they shut the casket and wheeled it to the front of the funeral home. Up to this point I hadn't cried but during the preacher's short prayer I looked over accross the room and there stood my 18 year old brother, crying. That set me off. I remember at one point during the prayer my best friend reaching and holding my hand. My brother and BIL were also 2 of the pallbearers - I think nanny would have liked that - and after they had put her in the hearse my brother just collapsed in my arms. Broke me heart all over again. We drove to the graveside - it felt surreal to see all the cars on the opposite side of the road stop. I've always stopped for funeral processions but actually being apart of the funeral procession just hammered it more in for some reason. I originally wasn't going to get out at the graveside but as I pulled up and my brother got out of the car he turned and asked me to come for him. God, how could I say no to him in that state? So I went. I was shocked we were allowed to sit in the front row. My best friend didn't know if she was allowed to sit in the front row but I told her, 'My husband isn't here, you are my support right now, you are sitting next to me'. So she did, held my hand during the entire service. Afterward we all stood to the side and everyone came over and hugged us. Of course my dad's girlfriend sent some of the elderly people over to me trying to find out my last name, were we lived, what L did for a living, etc. Highly inappriorate. So when it was all said and done I dropped my best friend off at the funeral home again (she rode with us to the graveside) and we came home. The car ride home was noticeably quiter. No one spoke really the entire ride home. And a few hours later I'm just kind of numb really. I've cried all I can, I've processed it and know wherever she is she is in a far better place but it's really hard on my sister and brother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firiel Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 What a great friend! I'm glad that the funeral went (relatively) well and that your dad's drama didn't end up taking over the time for mourning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 6, 2012 Author Share Posted April 6, 2012 I think that had a little to do with how I approached him and the entire situation. It was one of those times were I knew my emotional reaction would have just created more drama and L was right, there was no need for that. I'm def. thankful for my best friend. When we were stood by ourselves she kept trying to crack jokes to make me laugh and just keep me up beat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 I'm glad the funeral went well too - and it sounds like you handled the whole thing with your dad really well. Maybe seeing that the years have not been kind to him and feeling that pity isn't such a bad thing either (esp in terms of his power to affect you, in any way, going forward)... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 6, 2012 Author Share Posted April 6, 2012 I agree. I've always been baffled by my sister's insistance to not let them see pictures, especially of Tyler. In a way I understand but for me that's just giving them MORE power to have to think 'if I put this up, can they get to it?' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 Love your new signature btw - princess bride lyrics! This was your walking down the aisle song, if I remember correctly - would have been so beautiful!! It's a very romantic song.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 6, 2012 Author Share Posted April 6, 2012 It was 10 characters Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 6, 2012 Author Share Posted April 6, 2012 Screwy sleep pattern thanks to the events of yesterday, blah. Return to work tomorrow. Ready to just put my head down and get through April and be closer to filing this visa. My birthday is Sunday. I guess mom will celebrate it when I get off work that night since her and everyone is going to my grandparent's house for the Easter holiday and will be gone by the time I go in to work. Tyler is getting SO big. He's started saying the word cold only it sounds more like 'cowld'. Most of the time he'll point to things that are cold and say it but we are trying to teach him the difference between hot and cold - although he refuses to say hot, lol. And I wish I had just an inch of his energy. Lord. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 6, 2012 Author Share Posted April 6, 2012 I'm bored. Need to do some cleaning but just can't get in the mood. Jasper is napping (course he is when mommy is awake) and all I want to do is snuggle with him and nap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 7, 2012 Author Share Posted April 7, 2012 Less than 7 months until L lands. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted April 7, 2012 Share Posted April 7, 2012 super exciting!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 7, 2012 Author Share Posted April 7, 2012 It is. Still keeping fingers crossed about the visa and just getting everything ready for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 7, 2012 Author Share Posted April 7, 2012 Looks like they won't be any birthday cake for me tomorrow. Figures. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 ???????????????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted April 8, 2012 Author Share Posted April 8, 2012 Mom didn't even realize it was my birthday tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 Your mom has really been a crappy mom at times. Sorry. I am sure you will be a better mom to your kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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