OptomisticGirl Posted March 25, 2012 Author Share Posted March 25, 2012 I can't draw. Not even a straight line. Thankgoodness for rulers! I play no drawing games. Period. Yeah it's not the kind of game were it's like serious drawings. Some people do it but some of our drawings are done right ridiculous. I picked the word Bonjovi and was like how the H am I suppose to draw this? I ended up drawing a heart with a bullet going through it ('Shot through the Heart' song) and it took a couple hints for him to get it lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted March 25, 2012 Author Share Posted March 25, 2012 I slept for almost 12 hours yesterday and I'm still tired today. I life work early due to a migrain and am just blah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superfox Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 Well we've moved L's landing date up to 2nd of Nov and we both will be flying out to England on the 5th. Apparently the week of the 5th is outrageously expensive - when I went to look at hotel prices they were saying $1,200 for THREE nights at a cheap little $40 a night hotel, the same one we stayed in here last October! However when I put in the new dates (2-5) the prices came out normal! $180 for hotels and his plane ticket (with him flying here on the Friday) was about $1,000. No idea why either. 5th of November is Bonfire night here, it would be awesome if you could see the firework displays as you land! Although prehaps I shouldn't have said anything and your hubby could 'pretend' he organised them for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted March 25, 2012 Author Share Posted March 25, 2012 5th of November is Bonfire night here, it would be awesome if you could see the firework displays as you land! Although prehaps I shouldn't have said anything and your hubby could 'pretend' he organised them for you lol, that would have been awesome. We'll be landing in the morning though (poo). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
civilservant Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 I don't really wanna think about 5th November this year. Last year was that massive M5 crash right outside my home town. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted March 25, 2012 Author Share Posted March 25, 2012 I just found out my dad's mom died. This isn't the one we were talking about a few pages back (those were my mom's parents). I grew up with my dad's mom literally living in the same house as me. It was her house actually. Papa and Nanny built it from the ground up and it was the home my dad grew up in. Dad and mom only lived on their own for a few short months after marriage before they moved back in with her so she was always there when I was growing up. Every day, every night, every childhood memory I have is wrapped around her. What I felt growing up about my mom's mom is polar opposite to what I felt about my dad's mom because she was always there. The childhood memories that kept me sane have her in it. Picking honeysuckles outside with me... teaching me how to make biscuits from scratch (even though I clearly didn't inherit her cooking gene)... letting me help her weed her gardens... sitting on her lap for hours while she brushed my hair... kissing all my boo-boos in only that way a grandmother can... I hadn't seen or talked to her since I was 17. The last time I talked to her was the day I left home. she knew how bad things were, knew how close I was to my breaking point and she begged me not to go. She had fallen and broken her hip the previous year and that was the beginning of the end for the grandma I knew. She couldn't work after the fall and even in her 70's at the time she was still out working people in their 20's. Until her fall she worked 40 hours a week and took maybe 1 or 2 sick days a year, and that was after you had to practically force her to the doctor. After the fall it was like one thing after another took her down (I think she ended up falling 3 times after that). I couldn't bring myself to go see her. I told myself it was because I wanted nothing to do with my dad but the reality is I didn't want to see her like that, confined to a bed and unable to move. I wanted to remember the strong, vibrant, energetic woman I knew growing up. She was born and raised in the mountains of Tennessee, the youngest of 13 kids. She knew hardship and knew what a true working day from sun up to sun down was. She met my Papa during WWII - she was a bartender in Florida, lol - and he followed her all the way back to TN and asked her to marry him. Between them they had 8 kids, of which only my dad survived birth due to a rare blood disease Nanny had. When my dad was 14 a drunk driver hit the car that had her and my grandpa and because Papa had donated a kidney a few years before, he didn't survive. She witnessed so much heartache in her life but never dwelled on it. I can't imagine burying 7 children and continuing on and then having to bury the love of my life. She never remarried nor looked at another man after my Papa died. He was it for her she use to tell me. The only time I ever saw her get sad was when she would be staring at me. I'd ask what was wrong and she'd say 'You remind me so much of your grandpa when your acting silly.' She died yesterday morning which says a lot. Whether I believe it or not I've been in a crappy mood the last few days. I've picked fights with L both yesterday and today and have just felt... off. Its always something you look back on after the fact. I'm sad and my heart feels heavy but I know she is with Papa, wherever they are, and I know she is at last at peace. image removed image removed image removed image removed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 Awww I am sorry love. *Hugs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 i'm very sorry for your loss OG. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renaissancewoman101 Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 Sorry for your loss. Hugs to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hers Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 I'm sorry to hear this OG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted March 26, 2012 Author Share Posted March 26, 2012 Thank you guys. My brother and I are taking it the hardest. I was okay until I saw him start to shake. I had to get out of that house. Tyler was screaming, my stepdad was running his mouth... Just needed to clear my head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Keep in your heart how special she was to you and you to her. That is the important part. You will always have her in your heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted March 26, 2012 Author Share Posted March 26, 2012 Thank you Vic. One of my favourite pictures of us is the one were I'm standing on the swing and she's sat with with the Rottweiler we had, Peanut. Only dog I ever loved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firiel Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 I'm sorry, OG. My thoughts are with you and your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrose85 Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Again, I’m sorry OG. I absolutely love the photo of you and her with the rottweiler. *big big hugs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 I'm so sorry OG. Thanks for posting those pictures though. They were lovely. *hugs* take it easy now, okay? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted March 26, 2012 Author Share Posted March 26, 2012 I was asking mom how old I was in the picture with the dog and she said, 'About 3-4 I suppose. It was always my favourite of you and Nanny because it summed your relationship in one snap. As your mother I never would have let you do half the things she did (like climbing on the swing railing!) but she always knew your limits. She knew you were a child that liked to explore so she let you but she was always in the background in case something happened.' Come to find out the funeral home won't bury her until my dad pays the bill in full - which isn't likely to happen considering he hasn't held a job in years. They eventually will but it will be in a little cemetery were they bury John Does and such accross the road from were she SHOULD be buried next to Papa. I think that of all things breaks my heart the most. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 This is breaking my heart! I am so sorry, OG! Isn't there anyone in your family who could come up with some money to bury her next to the man she loved? She waited her entire life to lie next to him, and now she won't be able to do that. Life is too cruel. sometimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted March 26, 2012 Author Share Posted March 26, 2012 This is breaking my heart! I am so sorry, OG! Isn't there anyone in your family who could come up with some money to bury her next to the man she loved? She waited her entire life to lie next to him, and now she won't be able to do that. Life is too cruel. sometimes. I haven't been in contact with my dad's side of the family in years so I'm not even sure who all knows, who all is doing anything. She has family in TN but I'm not even sure who all is still alive up there. My dad wasn't even going to tell us (shocker there, not). A mutual friend pretty much forced him to. It breaks my heart to know she physically may not be next to him but I know spiritually she is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superfox Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 so sorry for you loss OG xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huntress0527 Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Sorry to hear that OG I'm here through PM if you need to talk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted March 26, 2012 Author Share Posted March 26, 2012 Today was a little better, not by much. My boss sent me home from work at about 11. The grieving comes in waves. I can go a while without thinking about her and feeling sad (can even laugh) and then it's like it all hits again. I called the funeral home she's at on my way home and them confirming they had her just kind of nailed it into reality for me. Mom, me, and my brother went through all 3 of our baby books and pulled out pictures with her in them to scan in for us. One funny spot in the day. I was trying to say good-bye to L on webcam when I heard my brother say, 'B, you might want to come here' from the direction of our bathroom. He was suppose to be watching Tyler and I assumed he hadn't been and Tyler had gotten into something. I quickly said good-bye to L and went to the bathroom door to see my nephew walking toward me swinging one of those toilet brushes you use to clean the toilet with... and it was covered in poo. Oh the stench. APPARENTLY my brother had been using the bathroom and thought he heard Tyler getting into something in his bedroom so he ran out of the bathroom to check on him without flushing. Tyler was actually down the hallway and in the short time span my brother wasn't in the bathroom had found the brush, dipped it into the toilet, and started swinging. -.- And instead of taking the brush from the baby he continues to let him swing it! Funniest part was there stood my brother and I in the hallway (after I had taken and disposed of the toilet brush) and my mom walks in, just looks at us and goes, 'What happened?' Mother's instinct I suppose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinkerbellkj Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Sorry for your loss, it's never easy to lose a loved one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted March 26, 2012 Author Share Posted March 26, 2012 I talked to the funeral home director - apparently they gave my dad the cheapest price they could and 'the family' are asking for donation and trying to raise the money to have her buried. Obviously they wouldn't need to be doing this if my father hadn't dipped his fingers into my grandmother's savings/social security checks and not kept her life insurance up. I'm so mad at him for all this. And I can GUARANTEE you he's playing the major sympathy card - makes me sick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrose85 Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Oh ew!! LOL. Grieving is really hard, especially when, like you said, it comes in waves. It will be like that for awhile and you will always miss her, but after some period of time, you’ll think of her with a smile instead of with tears. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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