OptomisticGirl Posted December 18, 2010 Author Share Posted December 18, 2010 Thanks Indigo. I was doing really well at the beginning (I suppose it was 'lets not let him see how crazy I can be. and I think the more I have become comfortable the more it comes out easier. It really is a bad thing and it's something I have to work on. I think we'll set up a word that I can say when I'm starting to get in that mood to let him know, although I'm sure he can spot the moods a mile away by now. He usually deflates them with humor as well. Damn man can always me smile. That was one thing my ex never for me, let me know what good qualities I bought to the table. So I try as best as I can to remind CS of his good qualities, even though I know he feels like I only complain about the bad one. I do recognize the good ones too. I think I can still swing it now that I'm looking at it with a clear head. When my mom first told me I was just in a foul mood and became a grumpster. My mom said, "You have to be optimistic about it." and I said, "Yeah, well, I don't feel like living up to my name right now" (was SO not going to explain that one to her). Then she caught me as I was going into her bedroom and told me I had to think positive and I don't know, I felt like a five year old child and started to tear up. I have been on my own since I was 17, worked every single day since then to provide for myself and suddenly I felt like a little kid again. So the big 22 year old baby cried on mom's shoulder. Then I had a hot shower, ate, and tackled the situation like I always do, in my control freak manner. CS suggusted we forgo the attractions we were going to do in Atlanta but I quickly was against that. We are getting the City Pass which is $150 but has tickets for 6 attractions in it. If we were to pay the normal ticket price at each place it would easily be about $200 if we didn't get the Pass. So that's a huge deal and one I'm not willing to give up. I redid the math of my paychecks and also remembered I get double time for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, so that's an extra $100 right there. I think I can swing it. I'm still going to go ahead and order the dress on Tues when I get paid to allow delivery time and to make sure it fits and I like it and everything and put the car repairs off until my first paycheck in Jan. The mechanic did say we could try this stop leak stuff, which costs like $5. You pour it in and it can stop the leaks (hence the name). So we are going to try that and hopefully that will fix it. So I think we can still swing it. I may not get the flowers I wanted but hey, I can always improvise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted December 18, 2010 Author Share Posted December 18, 2010 Sometimes I wish I knew more about make up. In all honesty in the past 3 months i have worn it twice mostly because I just don't GO anywhere but CS has spoiled me with the fact he says I look better without it. So while I wore it a good bit when we first met, I rarely wear it now because I feel fine not wearing it (thank you future hubby!). But still. I'm a girl, and even though I loath the whole process and don't have a lick of sense when it comes to it, it's something I at least want to KNOW, you know? I feel sorry for my daughter... then again, no one showed me as a teenager so, alas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
civilservant Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 link removed link removed Yes we do have real snow in this country Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 Makeup is actually pretty easy. You have nice skin already, so all you need is a tinted moisturizer or a really light foundation, liquid eyeliner in brown or black, some shimmery, neutral eyeshadow, and mascara/lip gloss Takes 10 minutes and a little bit of practice with liquid eyeliner. I get the same way with my moods. I'm so thankful for men like Alex and CS who understand, not that I take advantage of that understanding or anything, but he has never given up on me, and that's amazing to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted December 18, 2010 Author Share Posted December 18, 2010 Yeah I hate liquid eyeliner. Lol I have this kind that is like pencil but you dont sharpen it, you just twist and it pops up. Love that kind, very easy to control applyinsg it. I have the basic knowledge but I wouldn't mind learning some reicks, especially since I'm doing it for my wedding. >. I know what you mean. I try not to take advantage of his goos nature and when im in that mood i feel like i am. He hasnt quit on me yet though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted December 19, 2010 Author Share Posted December 19, 2010 So, today was my first day at the gym. I'm ubber proud of myself that I even went really. I slept horribly (Again) last night, kept waking up every hour on the hour. I ended up waking up about 11:30 and wanted to get an hour in before I went to work at 2. Even though I slept horribly I still got up and left the house by noon to get to the gym by 12:30. Talked to CS on the diive there. He was suppose to meet with his gran but as you can tell by the snow that didn't happen. I spent 30 mins on the treadmill. I have to admit the first five minutes were brutal. This WAS the most exercise I had done since NY mind you. But I pushed through it and kept at it. Having the tv in front of me helped, lol. I ended up burning like 180 calories going 3 MPH. Not too bad. I tried a few of the other machines but I think the treadmill is my favorite. I did this ab one were you select the weight you want, you sit down, grab the bars on either side of you, and lean forward and it lifts the weights. Not too bad. Did about 25 of those. Then I got on this bicycle thing which really reminds me of driving a car. You sit up straight like you do in a car but you put your feet into these pedals. Did that for 10 minutes and burned 40 calories. Woohoo! Then I showered and went to work. I actually felt pretty good afterward. My shins hurt on and off thorugh the day and I dread to think what they will feel like tomorrow morning but I'm really wanting to get another hour in tomorrow since the mechanic is going to try something on my car Monday and I have to be in at 1. I'm going to shoot for 5 days a week at the gym right now and see how I feel after a month. I also came in under my 1700 calorie thing on my app today as well. Double woohoo! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 Sounds like a great gym session I love the eliptical trainer the most at the gym but it's too tempting to put it at a weight that's probably too low and therefore not enough of a workout. Also it can get a bit boring after a bit.. so I used to have a great soundtrack on my headphones and I'd imagine myself dancing away to the music rather than elipticalling It's very good that you are doing this.. I got a gym membership a while back but unfortunately I havent seen the gym in ages Which makes me feel very guilty since im paying for it.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted December 20, 2010 Author Share Posted December 20, 2010 Wooohoo! I think I found my wedding night lingerie! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted December 20, 2010 Author Share Posted December 20, 2010 God I'm tired. I didn't get to sleep til late and woke up at ten to shower and everything. Ugh. I'm so ready for my two days off Tues and Wed! I have the department's Christmas party tomorrow at 11:30 I believe. Whch means I have to be up about 9ish to get ready. Ugggghhhhh. Then I'm going to the gym for an hour or so after the party. If I still feel the way I do now tonight when I get off I won't be going after working tonight. I'm not fond of walking out of secluded places at night by myself anyway. CS left work early today due to the massive amount of snow they are getting and he was afraid he'd be stuck at work. It's pretty bad, he sent me some pics and the Weather Bug app on my Droid is still flashing a heavy snow advisory for him. Dammit. I want a white Christmas! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 OG, I thought about you and CS today when I was watching the news today with B. Apparently they have 1 foot of snow. I need to give them credit though, that's a LOT of snow for the UK. We had over 2 feet in PA but that's just we are used to. Still, I have to giggle a little because 1 foot here is like nothing but in the UK, it's like "AHHHHHH WE'RE GONNA DIE." Congrats on your workout. And I'm with you on the DADT being lifted from the military. I never saw how one's sexual orientation can affect the military. But you know, I praise Clinton for starting DADT in the 90s. DADT was a step toward letting them into the army because it basically gave them permission to keep it under wraps. Clinton himself said that it was a first step. Now we are finally there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted December 20, 2010 Author Share Posted December 20, 2010 I know, CS says this is the most snow he has ever seen fall. These were some of the pics he sent me: CS's backyard area... image removed And I thought this was a sidewalk. Nope, this is a entire river, FROZEN. image removed lol, I was wondering if anyone would know what in the world I was talking about with that rant. It really firs me up, especially when the men in the military state they are now 'going to beat the gays' if they announce themselves because 'they will try to have sex with them'. Really? It's such a simple minded view. And yeah, Clinton did at least make it so they could serve, I never looked at it that way before. But yes, we have come full circle. Finally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetpea03 Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 The pictures look beautiful. I live in Southern Calif, so don't get snow at my place, other than if I drive to the mountains to see the snow. But I like it like that. I enjoy being able to visit the snow and then go back to my place in sunny socal(not that it's been sunny lately though, boo). haha. Also, with the DADT, I'm kind of in the middle. I don't like that they have to hide who they are, that is wrong, but I also feel like it does protect them in a way. I have a few friends and family members in the military and anyone who is gay or different will usually get beaten up. Just the other day, a man in my friend's new platoon got beaten up by a group of guys for talking about gays. Sad... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted December 21, 2010 Author Share Posted December 21, 2010 I heavely contemplated going to the gym after work tonight but then I cleaned four day rooms. That was not happening after that, lol I also have to be up at about 9 am tomorrow to get ready for the department Christmas party and mom is baby sitting Tyler tonight... so I decided to stick the original plan and I'll go for an hour or so after the Christmas party tomorrow.The elevator was acting up at work today. No one told me either -.- So I got on the elevator at the ground level and went up to start on the first two day rooms. As it took off it kind of lurched a little. I was like okaaayyyy. Then when it reached the top floor it stopped and then lurched MAJORLY to the point I thought it was going to fall down the shaft. Oh F no. I'm afraid of elevators (not the inclosed space of it but the elevator itself) so I was not a happy camper. Takes everything I have to go on that elevator every day at work. On the way back down I refused to get on it so I pushed the cart into the elevator, hit the ground button, then heffed my way down the stairs and met the elevator as it was opening and got my cart. Yep. I sure did. I got in from work and Tyler was screaming his head off, poor little guy was constipated and could just not go to the bathroom. And when I say screaming, I mean SCREAMING. He cried so much he made himself sick. So I held him while mom ran to the store to get some juice. I finally got him into a position were he didn't cry (After 45 mins of straight crying) and I think the little guy finally calmed down. Whew. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetpea03 Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Yea, I don't think any one will come out once DSDT is gone, but that might also be for their own safety. I feel bad that they get such horrible treatment. That's really not fair. Sorry, but I totally laughed out loud about the elevator thing. 8) I remember being stuck in an elevator once. That was creeppyyy. I was working at the hospital and we had an internal code black, with the electricity going out. I was in the elevator, so everything went black and it was me and another coworker in there. I looked and her and was like please tell me you have your phone on you. lol. She did so at least we could see a little bit. Then finally we got the doors to open and climbed out of the elevator at the basement level and ran to get flashlights to run to all of the ICUs and other areas to help out. It was madness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted December 21, 2010 Author Share Posted December 21, 2010 lol, it was def one of those moments for me. There I was, grabbing the rail in the elevator with my knuckles as white as ivory, saying in my head over and over, 'oh for F sake!' I'm afraid of them because when my my mom was pregnant with my sister (I was about 3ish) I wandered off from the waiting area and and some how ended up on one of the elevators and was stuck in that elevator for like 15 minutes. I still remember it too. My grandma came looking for me and found me on it, crying my eyes out. I can ride them but I do not talk and I do not move when I am on them. If I'm with anyone I'll grab their arm and keep my eyes closed the entire ride. It's a miracle I even get on them to work on the top and lower levels really, lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted December 21, 2010 Author Share Posted December 21, 2010 Ugh. I'm up at 9 am on my day off? Why? To get ready for the department's Christmas party. I don't think I fell asleep til 1:30-2 am either. Completley missed the lunar eclipse >, As well, yesterday was the day 150 years ago that my home state (South Carolina) succeded from the Union and the Civil War started. Yeahhhh, while the history buff in me finds that somewhat cool (I just can not get on board with my own countries' history!) the Southerner in me is a little disgraced about how we all acted back then. Well, how the South acted at least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted December 21, 2010 Author Share Posted December 21, 2010 Just got back from the Christmas party. It was fun, weird being 'at work' in street clothes, hair down, and with make up on, haha. I DID manage to try this new eye liner technique I found (you put it on and then smudge it with a brush) and it's not so heavy and dark. I love it. Def. going to be how I wear it on my wedding day. Now I just have to get some foundation that actually MATCHES my skin (so hard for me, it's always too light or too dark) but I think I found some at Wal-Mart, the bugg beige kind. I also need some eye shadow that doesn't have glitter in it. Ugh I hate that kind! I hate 3 slices of pizza at the party. :s My plan WAS to work out afterward so I didn't feel too guilty eating hte third slice but once I got back in the car I realized I had forgotten my socks and shoes at home (I wore flip flops) and I can't get on any of the machines with open toed shoes. Grrr. I gotta do some shopping tomorrow anyway, I'll hit the gym for two hours tomorrow instead of one to make up for it. I also love my gift my secret santa got me. It's a Lavander scented orsament of things like shower gel, lotion, a scrubber, and some other stuff. Plus a little bear that smells like cotton candy, roll on cotton candy fragrance and lotion, and a cotton candy lip gloss container that is shaped like a piece of candy. Love it! I was also in Wal-Mart before the party in the restroom and I was washing my hands when this woman starts to go out the bathroom then turns and looks at me and goes, "Did you see that N man try to come in here?" (I think we all know what the N stands for). I was mortified. I didn't even think, before I knew it was like, "How Redneck ARE you?" Needless to say she gave me a disgusted look and stormed out. Some people.... Tyler is once again crying constantly and the ONLY way I can keep him somewhat quite is by playing him Michael Jackson songs off my phone. No lie. His little legs are just a kicking, haha CS's job has their Christmas thing tonight. So we only got 30 mins on the phone today and will have sporadic emails thorugh the day, if that. One of those days were our schedules just do NOT mesh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidehop Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 I hate to ask this but is this sort of behavior like the woman common where you live? I'd be like if anyone had asked me that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted December 21, 2010 Author Share Posted December 21, 2010 Not common but there are those radical crazies that make it worse for the rest of us, lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetpea03 Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Not common but there are those radical crazies that make it worse for the rest of us, lol. lol. I love your response though... I think I would have been speechless. btw, off topic, but how do you make the hearts on here? my 'signiture' looks sad.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted December 21, 2010 Author Share Posted December 21, 2010 lol, yeah. I hate being sterotypical like that but really, that mindset it heavy here in the South still in some places. Most of the time I just ignore it but it really struck a nerve. Guess I'm still on a equality kick, haha Press the ALT button by the left side of the Spacebar and then hit the number 3 and it will make the hearts like in my signature. If you do different numbers while hitting ALT it will come up different symbols, like music symbols and what not. You can hit them both both at the same time as well but you still have to be pressing ALT when you hit 3 for hte heart to show up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted December 22, 2010 Author Share Posted December 22, 2010 I can't wait to get CS's laptop in Feb. One reason I put off writing on this novel is the placement of my computer. It's next to the bed and I REALLY need glasses (I have hte insurance now, just not the money that the insurance won't cover) and I'm constantly having to squint to write. It'll be so much easier when the screen is closer to me and won't hurt my eyes or give me a headache. >. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted December 22, 2010 Author Share Posted December 22, 2010 link removed Our engraved flutes I bought for the wedding just now! Gotta get my measurments to order the dress in the next day or two. I'm so ready for Feb. to be here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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