OptomisticGirl Posted February 2, 2012 Author Share Posted February 2, 2012 I agree 100% but starting at 26-27 is none moveable - we have to do something for L's job before Aug 2013 and my ILR visa is (right now) $1,500 - two years it will probably be more. On top of all that I have to have driving lessons, neither of us want me to be pregnant without a car... The only thing we can do while I'm pregnant is the saving up for when I'm out on maternity leave to take stress off L. That can easily be done while pregnant. But it all goes back to yeah, we could have a baby at 25 but it's a situation that while we don't like waiting it would be a huge wrong to bring our first child into the world when we have stuff on our platter most 'normal' married couples don't at that point. We could have already gotten pregnant but that's obviously a ridiculous situation to bring a baby into. And there's no guarantee we can have the kids 2.5 years apart. My parents were married in June, I was confirmed the next month and born in April. It took them 2 1/2 years after I was born to just get pregnant with my sister. Twins run in my family though and it's my generation to have them. Lord as a first pregnancy that would be hard but I'd take it as a second. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huntress0527 Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 OG- I'll be 29-30 when I'm pregnant/give birth and I'm glad I will not be a young mom. I couldn't have handled it back then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 OG- I'll be 29-30 when I'm pregnant/give birth and I'm glad I will not be a young mom. I couldn't have handled it back then. I agree. I got pregnant at 30. It is a GREAT time to be pregnant. It is perfect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 2, 2012 Author Share Posted February 2, 2012 Yeah it's different for everyone. My mom had all of us before she was 27 and with her taking care of Tyler now at 45, she has said herself she could not have had a newborn herself at her age now. she just doesn't have the energy she had when she had us - and she's having those chesty pains and dizzy spells. For me constantly being around kids I was okay with being a young mom. It's my ultimate dream so everything else just took a back seat to gaining knowledge of the little ones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinkerbellkj Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 My mom was 19 when she got pregnant with me and 20 when I was born. She said she'd take me to girl scouts and everyone called her my babysitter, because she looked young to boot. Not many of my teachers took her seriously because she was young and looked even younger. They waited 4 years (almost 5) to have my sister after I was born because they were not stable (financially, and living with family) at all when I was born, so once our house was finished being built I think my sister was born about 6 months later. My mom says she liked being a young mom but that it was much easier when she had my sister, though, to be honest, she was still very young then, under 25. The one advantage is that she is still young now and can do a lot (ie. fly to see her grandkids and play with them on the floor etc) but I think it makes her a little sad because all of her friends who waited to have kids still her younger children now, and I'm married and my sister is almost graduated college. For me I see it both ways. I never planned to be a young mom, because I was in school, working 60+ hours a week trying to get established, and just had a lifestyle not conducive to children. I just wasn't ready to stop spending money on clothes and dinners and put it towards anything else. I honestly didn't normally think much further into the future than a few weeks ahead. I was 26 when Mark was born (so 25 when I got pregnant) and I was terrified when I first found out. I felt I was too young! I mean most of my friends do not have children (though my husbands do because they are older) and now here I am on the verge of 2. At this point I don't think I'll have any more children, but you never know, however, for arguments sake I'll say my last baby will be born when I am 27 and I still feel very young. I can honestly say I feel no older today than I did at 21. In fact having a baby, and being pregnant has forced me to find energy from everywhere! If we had tried to get pregnant I think I would have been closer to 28 or 29 when we did, and then there would have been more than a 12 month gap between my babies. But, alas life has it's own plan and rarely are things ever ideal (at least in my life!). It will all work out in the end, and personally I think that 29-30 is a great time to be pregnant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huntress0527 Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Ideally for me I'd like to have my first one at 30 and my second one at 33/34 (I don't really want 2 kids in diapers at the same time) and 2 is my ideal number. The only thing I have to consider if my husband's age and the energy to have multiple children at an older age. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 2, 2012 Author Share Posted February 2, 2012 Yeah, for me it always about motherhood so all those things most girls my age want or worry about never applied to me. The whole having kids at 27 is slowly processing - I think the biggest hurdle for me to get over is we may not have the big family we have in visioned. Sure, it can happen but I guess Feb last year was a wake up call for this optimistic girl that no matter what you have planned, the Universe has another plan. A few of the thins we can work around, length out but L's job, my visa, and the driving lessons aren't moveable. It's just about letting go and letting things happen - and I'm the world's biggest control freak. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinkerbellkj Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 You know, it's not the diaper part of "2 in diapers" that scares me, diaper changes are easy, it's all of the rest of the stuff that comes along with two in diapers that scares me! Like the double stroller, two teething, two who can't talk or walk, two who still nap, two who wake up at night, two with bottles etc etc. That's the scary part to me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 I agree, my mom had me at 20, about a year and a bit after she got married. It was a different time though. So she was not looked at too strange. I did not want to be a mother at that age at all. I was too busy being a party mama and working when I was 20 and I wanted ZERO to do with ANY man in a romantic way. Then I went to University full time and had full time jobs as well. No room there for any babies. I always wanted them but not then. Sometimes I think people want their kids when they young because they think they will be out of the house by the time they themselves are 45 and then they can live for themselves. But as we see that is not true because you see it all over this board, kids still at home at 27 and 30 and so on and sometimes bringing their own kids back along with them. For whatever reason it just seems harder for kids now to launch out of that nest and stay out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huntress0527 Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 My husband has a sister who had her kids young like starting at 15 onward. Because she was so young she treats her kids like they are her best friends and not as a parent. I see them doing things and I just shake my head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 2, 2012 Author Share Posted February 2, 2012 I know for me my desire to be a young mom was just to be a mom - my mom was a young one, her mom was... But for me I didn't have anything else like university or other desires that would have stopped that.I def wouldn't have had one as a teenager but for me having them young of in a stable relationship I saw nothing wrong with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinkerbellkj Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Yes, we are the "boomerang generation" throw 'em out, and they are right back. All the kids in my husband's family have moved back with their parents, the youngest is finally gone and she is 27. His parents are also older in their late 60's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renaissancewoman101 Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 For all the planning about when to have a baby and whatnot, sometimes things CAN happen and you have an "oopsie" or something of that nature. I've seen that happen with friends before. Otherwise, OG, I am glad that you are being very responsible about the whole thing. Im 38 and the possibility of me having a kid is pretty slim right now. Although, lately, I finally seem to have baby yearnings that I never had before in the past. But with no SO in the wings and age being a factor, I can't really see it happening unless it is in the next 2 years Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 2, 2012 Author Share Posted February 2, 2012 Oopsies do happen but they just can't for us, not for two years, which is why I'm going back on BC 3 months before I move. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Yes, we are the "boomerang generation" throw 'em out, and they are right back. All the kids in my husband's family have moved back with their parents, the youngest is finally gone and she is 27. His parents are also older in their late 60's. It is the strangest thing. I did have a small episode myself, but had it worked out like I had planned I would have been gone at 18. I left bought a plane ticket and went to the other side of the country, but the girl I was moving in with messed me over so I went back home. But the next time I left it was forever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 I had my son at 32 and I wouldn't have it any other way. My twenties were spent partying, dating hot men, developing a career, traveling, being with my friends, and just plain old discovering who I was. I am so thankful I did that, it made me a much better teacher and mother. I have nothing against people who want children at a young age, it just wasn't something I wanted to do. Kids are different these days. My son still lives at home and he's 23. When I was young it was just expected that you would move out after hight school and all of us did. We would cram 4 people in a one bedroom apartment and save all our money for having fun. It was a great time and we learned how to be independent and support ourselves without depending on a man for that. I think it is sooooo important for people to do that, men and women. It makes a big difference in your outlook when you did not spend you young adulthood living with your parents. In those days, it just wasn't done. I know many young people do that today because things are very expensive and there are very few good jobs available, but I think they are missing out on something very important. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 2, 2012 Author Share Posted February 2, 2012 I have been on my own since I was 17, the only reason I came to live with mom at 21 was my ex and I broke up and it was either mom or the streets, and mom wasn't going to allow the streets. Going from having been independent since 17 (becuase I hadn't lived with my mom since I was 8 when her and my dad divorced) to having to rely on that parent again - sucked. I just spent from 9:30 until 1 PM at the tax place. holy F. But taxes are done. I'm getting back more than I anticipated (which is a super bonus) so if a plane ticket is $1,200 when we have to pay for it I'll only have to fork out $200 out of my income to pay for it, the rest is completely coming from my taxes. I have to owe the state $6 - going to be taking that up with HR tomorrow morning as I'm sure they have me down as single claiming one when I told them it was single claiming NONE but we can at least fix it for next year. Now I'm ready to talk to my hubby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 I have more energy at 45 than I did at 25 and my full time mom thing is extremely physical. I think that's because I have a healthier diet, am at a healthier weight, I'm more careful about being on a regular sleep schedule. I probably can't go out dancing till 3 am the way I could back then because my body clock is more of an 1130pm-midnight crash time but I am far more active as a full time mom than I was working in an office at 25. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 2, 2012 Author Share Posted February 2, 2012 I have more energy at 45 than I did at 25 and my full time mom thing is extremely physical. I think that's because I have a healthier diet, am at a healthier weight, I'm more careful about being on a regular sleep schedule. I probably can't go out dancing till 3 am the way I could back then because my body clock is more of an 1130pm-midnight crash time but I am far more active as a full time mom than I was working in an office at 25. It def. shows with each mom how age is so different. There is just no way my mom could have raised us at the age she is now - she can barely do it with Tyler. her health concerns aside she's just not energetic at her age as she was when she was 21 and had me. But I think that has to do with her mind set and how she grew up - my mom doesn't embrace many 'new' things or new ways of thinking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 Did you check link removed for fares? Are your dates flexible? I swear, we can fi d something cheaper than $1200 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 3, 2012 Author Share Posted February 3, 2012 I think L uses Opoodo or something like that. It's all dependent on when hey issue our visa - could be a few weeks after we send it or 2 months. The dates aren't very, unless we just can't find a place in time we want us over there by our one year anniversary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 3, 2012 Author Share Posted February 3, 2012 I came home from an extremely hard day at work to see these sitting on the kitchen table - image removed I have an awesome husband. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 3, 2012 Author Share Posted February 3, 2012 Talked to my best friend last night about my niece's birthday party next month. She turns three - THREE!!! - and in our home town there are no little kid areas to throw a birthday party, all the things are for older kids (like skating and bowling). so she was looking at having to have it 40 minutes away from our hometown but she really wanted to do it at the local park - the only thing is you can't reserve the park, it's a first come first serve bases. She mentioned someone would have to be there hours earlier to hold the spots so no one else used them and I was like 'Isn't that what Aunt OG is for?" So I'll be leaving from work that Friday night and driving up to my hometown and spending probably Fri and Sat night (haven't made my mind up about Sunday yet) and helped out with the setting up and stuff. I can't believe she's 3! Still seems like yesterday I was stood outside that delivery room door... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 5, 2012 Author Share Posted February 5, 2012 I slept for about 12 hours last night (yikes!) and it felt pretty good. I'm hoping to get into a sleeping pattern were I'm only sleeping 8 hours (because I'm not 17 any more and running on 5 or less hours of sleep just isn't cutting it any more!). Had a nice chat with L on my lunch break today - for some reason since I've switched departments our lunch time chats have been wonderful. Not that they weren't before but idk... just different. He mentioned school ratings in the town he lives in and it branched into how school was for each of us and the differences and such. Then that kind of led to baby talk and teenage talk... nice conversation. Work in itself wasn't bad, weekends never are. Hit the gym after work which makes the third time this week. It's gotten to the point were I don't look at it as a chore but I look forward to my 30 minute (currently 30) work out every other night. I still feel great too. My scrub top is actually staying down and not riding up because of back fat - great feeling!! No idea what I'm getting my niece for her birthday. I was thinking with it being her last one I would actually physically be here for (except for maybe a big mile stone one, like her 16th) I would get her something for later in life, like a engraved braclet or necklace, just something from Aunt OG. She wouldn't enjoy it now but later. Idk. I'll have to look into it. My uncle's birthday is next month to but I'm getting him a $20 Lowe's gift card (he loves making things so no better place to spend it!). I need to get down to Atlanta next month and buy a carrier for Jasper so he can be getting use to it. The friend I'm reconnecting with has offered to drive us (since I've never actually driven IN Atlanta) and such so that'll be a nice bonding day. Less than 8 months now til the big move. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted February 5, 2012 Author Share Posted February 5, 2012 Hmmmm, something like this maybe? link removed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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