civilservant Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 She's fine- toe hurts though, and you can tell in her mood Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renaissancewoman101 Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 I'm at work for the first time since the toe thing and it's hurting. Badly. And I can't take the pain meds because I drive a truck. Except for that though im feeling pretty good. Are you taking any OTC pain meds like Tylenol? It might help to dull the pain a bit. Also, maybe seeing if one of the nurses can help bandage it up some more so you have better cushioning. Have a good weekend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrose85 Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Don’t take it out on L, B. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted January 20, 2012 Author Share Posted January 20, 2012 I took some ibuprofen at lunch time and a nurse gave me some medical tape (I was using scotch tape, ha!). I look weird with one regular shoe and then the hurt foot in a flip flop. I'm just ready to be home. I didn't have to be here til 12 but came at 11 by accident. Blah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted January 21, 2012 Author Share Posted January 21, 2012 8 1/2 more months til I'm there.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 8 1/2 more months til I'm there.... I'm sure the "wait" will be worth it OG! Hang in there, and take care of that toe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 8 1/2 more months til I'm there.... what if you don't like it there.... ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted January 21, 2012 Author Share Posted January 21, 2012 I'm sure the "wait" will be worth it OG! Hang in there, and take care of that toe. thank you Heart. It will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted January 21, 2012 Author Share Posted January 21, 2012 what if you don't like it there.... ? Worst case if I can't deal with the weather L is willing to move here. It wouldn't be soon by any means - we are talking YEARS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 No, not just weather. I mean, big picture. you're going to be so far away from your family and friends. you won't have a job when you get there. you have to start your life all over again. it's a different country with different people and different customs and attitudes that are subtle. it's not easy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted January 21, 2012 Author Share Posted January 21, 2012 Naturally it won't, and there will be times I miss my family. I think it's naive to think I won't ever miss the place I spent 24 years of my life and the people I spent 24 years around. Of course I will - but I'll hold a relationship with them the same way I hold one with L now, via email, facebook, and Skype. Even with the invention of iMessage with the iPhone, I'm only ever a text away from my best friend. If someone had asked med 3 or 4 years ago could I move away from all I knew no, I don't think I could have. But moving as simple as an hour away from my home town and my best friend (and most family, my mom and siblings are the only family in this state) has taught me I can do it. That simply moving away doesn't break ties or end relationships. It will be hard and no, I won't have a job when I move, but I will get one. I will have to start my life all over but it's something I'm looking forward to. I'm not moving knowing no one - I have L and I have a step brother who lives an hour away from were we will be living. It's not much but that's what getting out and finding new friends is for. I'm willing to embrace the new culture and mingle it with my own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Dark Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Hm..... Homesickness. I think I can relate to that just form being over in Singapore at one stage in my life verified it. I felt really isolated even though I was with some relatives. The feeling of, you are really on your own set in for me. Plus coming from such a small Country it also made me feel like a very very tiny ant even though Singapore fits into New Zealand many times over. Annoyingly by the time I had to go back to New Zealand, I was finally settling in, I think it was due to being familiar with my surroundings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted January 21, 2012 Author Share Posted January 21, 2012 Annoyingly by the time I had to go back to New Zealand, I was finally settling in, I think it was due to being familiar with my surroundings. A lot of American ex pats who have moved to England have talked about this. That they went through stages of home sickness. The thrill of being in a new country, the drag of things settling down after that thrill, home sickness, and then eventually acceptance for lack of a better word. Some never could accept and they knew they had to move back while others embraced it. I don't think I'll 'embrace' it within a year or even five, but I'm willing to give it a shot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Dark Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Possibly drastic environment change too besides the knowing of the distance you are away from a place you are familiar with. Going back to talking about Singapore vs New Zealand. Every where I lived in New Zealand has been no shortness of seeing land. e.g. Not concrete, highways, skyscrapers as far as the eye can see. There will always be dense forests, hillsides somewhere in within walking length from my home. In Singapore, it felt like wall to wall of buildings, concrete, lines people and traffic, almost claustrophobic in a way. A culture shock so to speak. I think this is also part of reluctance to move somewhere overseas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 yeah, it will be exciting at first for sure. but i think it can get hard too. will you be looking for a job or maybe take some college classes? if you can, i think it would help to have a purpose and a connection outside of L to the country. i think it will help you settle in. does L have many guy friends who are married or have serious gfs? you can befriend them. I say this all because I'm moving myself soon and it's hitting me how I have to "start all over" in many respects. Find new friends, new hangouts, etc... right now, i am so busy with a friend wanting to hang out every night, etc... but I realize when i move, it will just be me. you have L of course, so that's different. but you want to have some friends outside of L, particularly gfs. Especially when you two start having children, it will be nice to be friends with other young mothers and you can have playdates together, etc... help babysit each others' kids. I think it's really important to have a network of female friends to help you out. Not just skype, but people who are there in your town. One of my friends moved from Europe to the US to be with her husband (he has children here, so him moving there really wasn't an option). To be honest, she's going crazy. Well, it's better now that she's enrolled in college and has a good job. But before, when she wasn't working and wasn't going to school, she was horribly bored. Especially considering that she's from an exciting european city .... to here. She still isn't fully happy and i think once his kids are a bit older, she's going to insist that they move somewhere more fun. I think she feels stifled here. Even though she loves her husband, i think she would leave if he didn't want to go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted January 21, 2012 Author Share Posted January 21, 2012 It def. will get hard, I'm def. not disputing that. After about a week or so yeah, I'll start looking for a job. No classes or anything like that - I already have a $10,000 student loan I'm paying on back here and honestly, school has never been my thing. I start off strong but when I hit a subject I don't like it just takes the wind out of my sails. L has a few friends who are married, yeah. I know once I find a job I plan on taking the pole dancing class with L's sister - so that's bonding time with her (she's a year older than me I believe) and I can interact with others in the class. I'm hoping to find something in retail, force me to met new people and such. I def. agree it's good to have friends outside the marriage, but for me I'm a huge introvert. I'm okay with friendships being handled through text and such simply because I like my alone time. I def. plan on joining a group or something when we have kids to meet other young moms. For me I have always wanted to move. I just never liked my hometown. Granted it was all I knew and when I had to leave it 2 years ago I thought the universe was coming to an end but honestly, evne just driving back through it now to visit friends, I feel like an outsider. I know if I ever did move back it would just take to adjust but I'm applying htat same logic to the move - it'll just take time. I'm going from one small town to another - I love small towns. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted January 21, 2012 Author Share Posted January 21, 2012 Possibly drastic environment change too besides the knowing of the distance you are away from a place you are familiar with. Going back to talking about Singapore vs New Zealand. Every where I lived in New Zealand has been no shortness of seeing land. e.g. Not concrete, highways, skyscrapers as far as the eye can see. There will always be dense forests, hillsides somewhere in within walking length from my home. In Singapore, it felt like wall to wall of buildings, concrete, lines people and traffic, almost claustrophobic in a way. A culture shock so to speak. I think this is also part of reluctance to move somewhere overseas. Where L lives it's similar it geography to here in a way. Granted things are packed so to speak because they don't have as much room but the concept is the same, if that makes any sense, lol. I could never live in a big city like Atlanta or London, it's just not me. I loved visiting NY but I could never live there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hers Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 but I'll hold a relationship with them the same way I hold one with L now, via email, facebook, and Skype. I think you owe it to yourself and to your husband to do that for your friends and family. I told my sister this just today when Iw as trying to work out a time to get down there to visit them: "As much as I love you guys, I've had 29 years with you and not enough time with my nephew. He's my priority when I visit now". Your friends and family owe it to you just as much to give you the support despite being away from them. It's so not easy to do what you guys are doing--spending your first marriage apart like this. It's not something i coudl do, that's for sure. Many people can't. Even for the strongest couples, it's hard. So you owe it to yourself to let the rest of your lives together make up for the 2+ years you didn't get together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 No, not just weather. I mean, big picture. you're going to be so far away from your family and friends. you won't have a job when you get there. you have to start your life all over again. it's a different country with different people and different customs and attitudes that are subtle. it's not easy.It depends on the people but I did it successfully and I know many others who did as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted January 21, 2012 Author Share Posted January 21, 2012 I think you owe it to yourself and to your husband to do that for your friends and family. I told my sister this just today when Iw as trying to work out a time to get down there to visit them: "As much as I love you guys, I've had 29 years with you and not enough time with my nephew. He's my priority when I visit now". Your friends and family owe it to you just as much to give you the support despite being away from them. It's so not easy to do what you guys are doing--spending your first marriage apart like this. It's not something i coudl do, that's for sure. Many people can't. Even for the strongest couples, it's hard. So you owe it to yourself to let the rest of your lives together make up for the 2+ years you didn't get together. thank you for this Hers, really. I never thought of it that way. And I guess in a way it helps to move away because I know certain ones are willing to visit - all we need is a free bed for them to stay in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted January 21, 2012 Author Share Posted January 21, 2012 It depends on the people but I did it successfully and I know many others who did as well. I think one of the keys for it being successful is embracing the culture of were you are moving to. A lot of people move and then try to hold on even tighter to their own culture and refuse to mingle or accept new things. i'm sure there will be a few things I bulk at but eventually accept and I'm starting to mingle it in where I can. I've found a few British comedians I love and a few tv shows as well. I've even started replacing our words for things with their words naturally - I don't call it a cell phone anymore, it's a mobile. For me there are certain things about being Southern that we will incorporate and I WON'T let go of - such as sweet, ice tea - but over all I'm more than willing to embrace the culture. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 It depends on the people but I did it successfully and I know many others who did as well. What would you say helped you most with this transition? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted January 21, 2012 Author Share Posted January 21, 2012 Jasper just shoved his head down my cleavage... not sure how to feel about this one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hers Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 I do that to women all the time. No biggie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Jasper just shoved his head down my cleavage... not sure how to feel about this one! Motorboating kitty? I sooo didn't know that term until I saw how Hers explained it after she met Jen. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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