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Not so much that I need to be right but left alone to do something I was given to do would have been great. I love decorating - especially for christmas - but don't give me free reign then come behind me and pick at me because of the way I'm putting the lights on the tree. But I won't say anything because a) it will start a bigger argument and b) it's disrespecting your elders.

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She honestly doesn't get like this unless my stepdad is around. Yes she sets me off by herself but that's more how I take what she does, not her doing. And it really wasn't even her that was annoying me. Sure, I didn't like being told how to do something when I had just asked do you want it a certain way. But HE kept on about Jasper. 'The cat is annoying me' - well yeah, you scare him by making loud noises on purpose. I'd annoy you too. Or 'feed the cat'. 'The cat has already been feed for the day.' 'why aren't you feeding him more?' 'He's on a diet.' 'so your starving him?' 'No, I'm going by what the vet said.' 'if the vet told you to jump off a bridge, would you.'

 

Because SOMEHOW he knows more than the person who went to school to care and look after animals.

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I think you need to be more assertive with these folks. Tell him that you don't want to listen to his opinion about your cat. Tell your mother that if she wants the tree decorated a certain way she should have said so when asked, if she changes her mind she can do it herself. You can say it assertively without being aggressive.

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I think you need to be more assertive with these folks. Tell him that you don't want to listen to his opinion about your cat. Tell your mother that if she wants the tree decorated a certain way she should have said so when asked, if she changes her mind she can do it herself. You can say it assertively without being aggressive.

 

i have tried DN, I really have. my mom telling me about the tree was annoying but if I were to sit and really think about what set that anger mode off, it would be him. He has to be right, always. Jasper meows and he think he's hungry - 9 times out of 10 it means he's knocked his water bowl over for the 900 millionth time and he's thirsty because he has no water. Or simply he wants love. He's an attention hog.

 

When my car was leaking water like crazy he told me I needed to be putting anti freeze in it (when it wasn't freezing, way above freezing temps). When I tried calmly explaing to him I'd rather wait to put anti freeze in it since anti freeze at best costs $10 a jug (and I was having to put a whole jug of water in every day) and try to get enough saved to fix it before it came to that. He wouldn't listen to my reasoning that if I spent $70 on anti freeze a week (a jug per day) it would have been after the new year before I would have had the car fixed whereas I could pay a large sum to get it fixed now and not have to worry about it. Because I didn't go 'oh your right. Let me waste $70 a week vs. an immediate $200' I wasn't listening to him. And he kept repeating himself like I was an idiot and his way was right, my way was wrong.

 

/end rant.

 

I try not to be confrontational because of the history between he and I as well as the whole disrespecting elders (when dealing with my mom, I could care less if I disrespected him) BUT my mother's child or not, I'm living here rent, grocery, and utlity free. Can't bite the hand that gives out charity.

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Well, actually, England is a small continent or a large island (take your pick) with lots of people from lots of different countries speaking lots of different languages living there. I used to date a guy who was born in Hungary, lived in Italy, moved to Australia, and then immigrated to the U.S. He told me that in Europe, most people speak multiple languages and that in every European country there is a sizeable percentage of the public who speak English. He said they stress languages there more so than we do here. Most school children speak at least three. He could speak (fluently) Hungarian, German, Italian, English, Spanish, and some of the Slav dialects. He was amazed that most people here spoke only one, or two at best.

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