Seraphim Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 I never officially changed my name but it is the same name anyway......lol. I did not see the point. I can see it if the name is different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 I don't believe iin changing my name, I am not his property. But some women don't mind and that is fine. My late bf and I never got married because I would not take his name and I hate cohabiting with anyone. I know, I'm different. I'm still not sorry I did that, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
civilservant Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 I don't believe iin changing my name, I am not his property. But some women don't mind and that is fine. 'Don't mind' is entirely the wrong attitude. Some want to do it for the act of creating a new family unit, or for whatever reason are eager to leave theirs behind. Either way it isn't a 'property' thing. That's an entirely outdated attitude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 I don't see it as property either. I just did not "officially" change my name because as it happens we had the same last name anyway. If it had been different I would have taken his last name because I would have been proud to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 I don't believe iin changing my name, I am not his property. But some women don't mind and that is fine. My late bf and I never got married because I would not take his name and I hate cohabiting with anyone. I know, I'm different. I'm still not sorry I did that, though. As a friend of mine put it, most women have their father's name anyway so it's still a male-dominated name. I didn't feel and don't feel that changing my name had to do with being my husband's property- my reasons for doing it was because my husband preferred it (not strongly but it was a preference) and I wanted our family to all have the same last name. I might keep my maiden name professionally when I return to work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted November 21, 2011 Author Share Posted November 21, 2011 I agree with Batya. I had no say in my own first name or the last name I was born into - so in essence, women are born as property to their fathers. I can understand some women are very against and others don't want to change it for professional reasons, but for me I had no connection to my maiden name. At all. To me my last name isn't a part of my identity, who I am and what I like is. L wa very no property even in our vows - I didn't say obey and the officiant even had to say 'kiss the bride', not 'your bride'. we did end up saying 'who presents this woman' simply to make the ceremony flow easier Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SayWhen Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 I agree with CS about creating a family unit. I was happy to take my husband's name...it meant a lot to both of us though I understand why some women wouldn't want to. I'm a teacher so it took awhile to get used to Mrs. V instead of Ms. H but now when my old students call me Ms. H I get taken aback, lol! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firiel Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 I was happy to change my name to his. We/I had so much trouble with my family that I was happy to get rid of that name and officially make myself a part of his family, although I recognize that my situation is a little different in that most people don't want actively want to get rid of their last names. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hers Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 I was happy to change my name to his. We/I had so much trouble with my family that I was happy to get rid of that name and officially make myself a part of his family, although I recognize that my situation is a little different in that most people don't want actively want to get rid of their last names. Same thing for me. I couldn't wait to get rid of my maiden name bc I have no emotional connection to it at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted November 22, 2011 Author Share Posted November 22, 2011 Same here. I was ready to become a part of L's clan! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted November 22, 2011 Author Share Posted November 22, 2011 I found a recipe I like for the chocolate chip cookies I'm going to bake to send to L. So I'll be baking come Wed or Thurs night! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 How many people who dropped the vow to 'obey' also dropped 'with all my worldly goods I thee endow'? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted November 22, 2011 Author Share Posted November 22, 2011 I had to look back through our vows -lol - but we didn't have that, of anything about worldly goods. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrose85 Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 I heard that phrase for the first time last night as I was watching (yes, I was) My Big Fat Fabulous Wedding. Wasn’t too sure on the political correctness... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted November 22, 2011 Author Share Posted November 22, 2011 This was our vows: B, do you take L to be your husband? Will you love, honor, and cherish him, in good times and in bad, and do you promise to stay true to him as long as you both shall live? And... I L, take you B, to be my wife, to have and to hold, from this day forth, to love, honour, and cherish, to comfort and respect, in sorrow or in joy, in hardship or in plenty, so long as we both shall live. and... B, I offer this ring as a symbol of my love and devotion. Let is always be a reminder of my vows to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 I had to drag out our wedding programme ( not easy..........lol) Hm we did not have obey in ours. Our were I, R take you L to be my lawful wedded wife; to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer , in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish from this day forward till death do us part: and thereto I give you my solemn promise. I, L take you R to be my lawful wedded husband; to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer , in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish from this day forward till death do us part: and thereto I give you my solemn promise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hers Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 We did our own vows. Nothing about obey or being each other's anything. I told him I promise to help him explore his passions, support your goals, and always apologize when I'm in the wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted November 22, 2011 Author Share Posted November 22, 2011 I know I'm a newlywed but my marriage means the absolute world to me. More so, my husband does. I know I can be a Mad Cow and completely hard to handle at times but what we have I am so very grateful for. I'm so thankful that we both know what we want and can relay that to each other and talk through our problems. Even if we are stark made at each other - such as this afternoon - we still say I love you. Because even when I want to suffocate him with a pillow, I still love him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 Actually, my last name belongs to no one, male or female. My paternal grandfather was adopted at a young age and never knew his real last name. Sooo, my last name was not passed down from my father, it was just one that was kind of plastered on my grandfather by his foster parents. I insisted my son take my last name. So he had just mine for a long time. Later, he wanted a hyphenated name which was fine by me. MY last name is the main one. I have just never seen the necessity of marriage or changing your name and all of that. I do believe in loving someone else, though. I just don't think I have to be married to do that. Amone all my family and friends (there are many) I only know one couple who is happy to be married. Why, I don't know. Happy marriages just don't happen among my family and friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted November 22, 2011 Author Share Posted November 22, 2011 Seems to be the same with me. Like everyone around me is doing through a divorce or has been divorced. The only happily married couple I know is my uncle and his wife, really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted November 23, 2011 Author Share Posted November 23, 2011 Anyone want some of this rain we have? I worked in laundry today and of course when I don't work upstairs I don't bring my housekeeping keys with me - why would I? I dont need into every door that I normally do - and this would be a busy Tues for the OR. So my counterpart left 4 rooms - she was due to leave at 2 but was outside smoking 15 minutes before her shift ended when she could have been cleaning - and I didn't have any keys to get into a cart to clean so the rooms had to wait until the person that comes in at 6 came in. The nurses weren't happy because they wanted it clean before they left but I can only do some much. Other than that it was a steady, quiet day at work until about 8 - which of course is when I went to do my last pick up - and it started RAINING. We are actually under a severe thunderstorm/tornado watch until 4 am. wonderful. There was literally not a dry area on my scrubs when I got back downstairs. Blah! I need to get on the ball about doing these Christmas cards because I want to send L's gran one with a few wedding pictures I printed out for her. And if I want them to make sure they get there before christmas I need to send them no later than next Monday really. I should be able to finish them by then. I just need to buy a santa hat to put on Jasper while he's sleeping. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 Anyone want some of this rain we have? Swap your rain for our freezing rain?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted November 23, 2011 Author Share Posted November 23, 2011 Swap your rain for our freezing rain?? Naw, you can keep that. I'll take some of your real snow though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renaissancewoman101 Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 OG, I feel for you. It's been raining a lot here this past weekend and our temps have been in the 50's. Next week (after Thanksgiving), temps are supposed to go up to the upper 70's to almost 80. Weird temps. The only bad thing about rain is that people here always drive crazy when it rains, like they've never driven in it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted November 23, 2011 Author Share Posted November 23, 2011 Oh god, that's here to. It's like a few rain drops and oh my god!!! what is this liquid falling from the sky??? Let me drive 10x slower or faster and not use turn signals! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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