Fudgie Posted September 3, 2011 Share Posted September 3, 2011 I don't know. I lacked pockets a lot in my shorts when I was growing up so I always carried dollar bills and coins in my sneakers. Didn't hurt at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted September 3, 2011 Author Share Posted September 3, 2011 I'm kind of dense about English traditions, but I have to ask: Won't putting money in your shoe HURT when you walk? Not if you get a clear gel insole and put the pence under the gel sole. One bride on my other forum did that and she said she couldn't feel it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinkerbellkj Posted September 3, 2011 Share Posted September 3, 2011 Not if you get a clear gel insole and put the pence under the gel sole. One bride on my other forum did that and she said she couldn't feel it. I did it!! I had a six pence in my shoe, my aunt made a REALLY big deal about it, and she saves it to reuse in all the girls weddings. I wore strappy shoes and I taped it under my arch, I don't remember feeling it at all. For something old I had the gloves my grandmother wore at her wedding pinned to the inside of my dress. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted September 3, 2011 Author Share Posted September 3, 2011 Last night was one of those nights I could have killed my child. I had one of the worst boughts of insomnia I have had in a while - I know I didn't fall asleep until 5-5:30 - and once I FINALLY managed to doze off, Jasper did everything in his power to annoy me and wake me up. First he kept messing with the trash bag. Then he would walk around my head and meow and swish that monkey tail of his and knock crap over - which would make a loud sound and wake ME up. When he wants attention he does this thing were he will head butt me any where on my body (head, back, arms, whatever is exposed at the time) until I let him under the bed covers. Well half asleep and with already a none restful sleep this morning, mommy was just not in the mood to be head butted and have a cold cat nose on her skin.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted September 3, 2011 Author Share Posted September 3, 2011 My day has improved - past Jasper being annoying. L and I web cammed for an hour or so. He met with his gran today for lunch and she asked a bunch of questions about the wedding. It's nice to know at least one - and the one member that really counts - likes me, or, is willing to embrace me without ever having met me. I need to get her a birthday card when I pick L's up next week so it will arrive to him before their birthdays. Then since L's room mate woke him up in the middle of the night we talked on the way to work so he could get an early night - I know he was exhausted this morning, poor guy. So far I have done well at not falling asleep while at work, lol. Four more hours and then my shift is over with. I'm ready to get back in the gym and increase my treadmill workout some! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted September 3, 2011 Share Posted September 3, 2011 awww, sounds sweet. does his family not like you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted September 3, 2011 Author Share Posted September 3, 2011 I wouldn't say they don't like me but they aren't supportive of me and L - or of L in general, either. One of those the parent has two kids but acts like they only have one kind of deal... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted September 3, 2011 Share Posted September 3, 2011 that's too bad - hopefully that will change when they meet you and see that you two are happy together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted September 3, 2011 Author Share Posted September 3, 2011 Meh, I doubt it. But I'm willing to play nice with them for the sake of their relationship with our future kids. Their relationship with me I could care less about - except for the one with me and his gran. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted September 3, 2011 Share Posted September 3, 2011 If they are going to be mean about it, why would you want your future children to have a relationship with them? They have the gran, of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted September 3, 2011 Author Share Posted September 3, 2011 While that's my first gut reaction as well, it's not fair to cut our kids off from the only family they will know personally - because the truth is they will never be as close to mine as L's - simply because I disagree with how L has been treated a majority of his life. My relationship with them is different than the relationship they will have with our kids and I would rather our kids gather their own opinion about certain family members than have my opinion thrust on them, you know? His gran isn't in the best of health though. He and I both are hoping she will still be around when we have our first child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted September 3, 2011 Share Posted September 3, 2011 While that's my first gut reaction as well, it's not fair to cut our kids off from the only family they will know personally - because the truth is they will never be as close to mine as L's - simply because I disagree with how L has been treated a majority of his life. My relationship with them is different than the relationship they will have with our kids and I would rather our kids gather their own opinion about certain family members than have my opinion thrust on them, you know? His gran isn't in the best of health though. He and I both are hoping she will still be around when we have our first child. That is very wise OG as they will most likely not know your family. It is always good for children to have a family. You also may never know they might enjoy their grand kids. My inlaws did not always treat my husband the greatest though I know they love him. Our son is also their ONLY grandchild and always will be. So I put up with their stupid crap for his sake. And as you say his gran is not well and how long do great grandparents last? You know? It is so great to have family for children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted September 3, 2011 Author Share Posted September 3, 2011 That is very wise OG as they will most likely not know your family. It is always good for children to have a family. You also may never know they might enjoy their grand kids. My inlaws did not always treat my husband the greatest though I know they love him. Our son is also their ONLY grandchild and always will be. So I put up with their stupid crap for his sake. And as you say his gran is not well and how long do great grandparents last? You know? It is so great to have family for children. Living with that wisdom will be hard, as I'm sure you know Vic, lol, I will do my upmsot best to keep me emotions and feelings in check when our kids are around but in the silence of our bedroom with just me and L - oh yeah, I'll rant, lol I'm sure their connection with our kids will be genuine, but that in itself raises the question (for me at least) why they couldn't have that with L. Or why certain things happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinkerbellkj Posted September 3, 2011 Share Posted September 3, 2011 While that's my first gut reaction as well, it's not fair to cut our kids off from the only family they will know personally - because the truth is they will never be as close to mine as L's - simply because I disagree with how L has been treated a majority of his life. My relationship with them is different than the relationship they will have with our kids and I would rather our kids gather their own opinion about certain family members than have my opinion thrust on them, you know? His gran isn't in the best of health though. He and I both are hoping she will still be around when we have our first child. I agree with this. I don't know for me, unless the family members are abusive in some way I feel like they should have a relationship with their grandparents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted September 4, 2011 Author Share Posted September 4, 2011 I agree with this. I don't know for me, unless the family members are abusive in some way I feel like they should have a relationship with their grandparents. Yeah, they aren't abusive - they just like to play favourites. It doesn't bother L - and only bothers me because I see the negative way he can be treated - so Im willing to play nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 hopefully, they will love their grandchildren equally!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted September 4, 2011 Author Share Posted September 4, 2011 hopefully, they will love their grandchildren equally!! Oh, I have a feeling ours won't be their favourite. But I can work with that, my own grandparents play favourites between me and my cousins. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 I just want to be sure that my mom and Alex's mom/dad get equal time with our kids. With my niece, my mom never even gets to see her because the maternal grandparents completely dominate. I'm really interested to see what kind of grandfather Alex's Dad will be. I don't think my Dad will be very present though. Alex's Mom will be alll over it LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 As long as they don't get emotionally hurt, I don't see the harm. I don't know any family outside of my grandparents, and I only have one left. This is because my parents decided that the rest of the family was either crazy (religious nuts, we got em) or boring. So I grew up with a very small family and I don't really know my aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. And I never will. My parents have cut contact largely so I don't really see them either. I'm not sure if that was helpful or harmful but perhaps my parents really felt that their interactions would be bad, so I respect their choice and I don't have contact. If I had any hypothetical children, I would not be introducing them to the family I never knew, and I'd probably keep them away from my sibs. My brother is rather dysfunctional. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted September 4, 2011 Author Share Posted September 4, 2011 I just want to be sure that my mom and Alex's mom/dad get equal time with our kids. With my niece, my mom never even gets to see her because the maternal grandparents completely dominate. I'm really interested to see what kind of grandfather Alex's Dad will be. I don't think my Dad will be very present though. Alex's Mom will be alll over it LOL And I think tha in itself is harder than just maintaining one relationship. Of course our kids will know my mom and my family, see them on web cam and through the years, but that constant connection will come from L's family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted September 4, 2011 Author Share Posted September 4, 2011 As long as they don't get emotionally hurt, I don't see the harm. I don't know any family outside of my grandparents, and I only have one left. This is because my parents decided that the rest of the family was either crazy (religious nuts, we got em) or boring. So I grew up with a very small family and I don't really know my aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. And I never will. My parents have cut contact largely so I don't really see them either. I'm not sure if that was helpful or harmful but perhaps my parents really felt that their interactions would be bad, so I respect their choice and I don't have contact. If I had any hypothetical children, I would not be introducing them to the family I never knew, and I'd probably keep them away from my sibs. My brother is rather dysfunctional. I came from a fairly large family on both sides so I see the benefit of having family around, even if I as the parent don't get along with them (as long as no abuse is happening). My gut reaction in every situation is to defend L - even though it doesn't bother him - so I have to weigh that vs. Their relationship with their grandkids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinkerbellkj Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 I came from a fairly large family on both sides so I see the benefit of having family around, even if I as the parent don't get along with them (as long as no abuse is happening). My gut reaction in every situation is to defend L - even though it doesn't bother him - so I have to weigh that vs. Their relationship with their grandkids. I so agree. I have a huge family (and no they do not always get along, but what family does?) and I am a plane ride away from them. I loved growing up with such a big family and it breaks my heart that my kids aren't around them. My husband has a smaller family in the area-- just his parents and siblings. We see them a lot and it's nice, but I definitely miss having the big family around. I actually feel depressed about it sometimes especially around holidays, but hopefully we will be able to move up there someday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted September 4, 2011 Author Share Posted September 4, 2011 I so agree. I have a huge family (and no they do not always get along, but what family does?) and I am a plane ride away from them. I loved growing up with such a big family and it breaks my heart that my kids aren't around them. My husband has a smaller family in the area-- just his parents and siblings. We see them a lot and it's nice, but I definitely miss having the big family around. I actually feel depressed about it sometimes especially around holidays, but hopefully we will be able to move up there someday. Lord, my mom wants us to come over for Christmas - on Cnristmas Day - after we have kids. I was like mom, I do want to start traditions with our kids when it comes to the holidays, whic means we will probably never, accept for the odd one, be back here on an actual holiday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinkerbellkj Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 Lord, my mom wants us to come over for Christmas - on Cnristmas Day - after we have kids. I was like mom, I do want to start traditions with our kids when it comes to the holidays, whic means we will probably never, accept for the odd one, be back here on an actual holiday. Yes, it's very hard. We are going to my family for Thanksgiving, and we originally wanted to go for his 1st birthday and have his party there, but I'll be about 38 weeks pregnant, so that won't happen. What I plan to do is have his party late in the month like days before my c-section so that my family can be here for both. My mom will probably stay for 2 weeks like she did for Mark, which will be great, because then she'll be able to stay with Mark while I'm in the hospital, plus all she talks about is how she wants to take him to the toy store and have him pick out toys for his birthday. At 1 I doubt he'll be picking anything out, but hey, she can absolutely take him! She's already started stashing away his Christmas gifts to send down for him. Ideally, we will try to go there for holidays sometimes, but once they get older and want to open their gifts from 'Santa' I think it'll be too hard to do all that there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 I've actually never spend Christmas Day ANYWHERE other than my childhood. All my life. It's sad to be away from your family, OG, but I think you'll love it more when you build traditions with your kids in the UK, in your own home. Your mom is just going to have to understand this. One of the best part of the holidays was being in that same home, with the same people (parents, sibs) and we had a lot of cool fun traditions that I always looked forward to. Traveling may take some of that away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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