OptomisticGirl Posted August 23, 2011 Author Share Posted August 23, 2011 Happy Anniversary. I'm not trying to sabotage your weight loss regime or anything like that, but I get the feeling the L loves you just the way you are. Thanks guys. Jig- he does, and that's part of the problem, lol. I don't have to ask 'will you still love me when I blow up', I actually have to ask 'will you still love me if I lose weight?'. we both want me to be healthier though for when we conceive and just overall. I am medically over weight and heart disease runs rampant in my family... Two things I would rather not combine! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Did you live here Annie? No, but I've visited a few times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted August 23, 2011 Author Share Posted August 23, 2011 So there was a earthquake in Virginia apparently. I'm not too surprised my Facebook is now filled with 'the world is ending' statuses..... *sigh* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinkerbellkj Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 So there was a earthquake in Virginia apparently. I'm not too surprised my Facebook is now filled with 'the world is ending' statuses..... *sigh* I was on the phone with my mom who lives up in Mass, and she was at work and just says, "umm the building just shook, I think it's time for me to go home!" I didn't think much of it until I saw facebook and all the statuses! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted August 23, 2011 Author Share Posted August 23, 2011 I was on the phone with my mom who lives up in Mass, and she was at work and just says, "umm the building just shook, I think it's time for me to go home!" I didn't think much of it until I saw facebook and all the statuses! I heard sbout it on the radio. I didn't feel anything but apparently a bunch of people in my hometown did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanutbutterandjelly Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 reading your journal makes me want to find a man in the UK. It's so exciting and I'm so happy for you! Does CS have any single friends? lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted August 23, 2011 Author Share Posted August 23, 2011 reading your journal makes me want to find a man in the UK. It's so exciting and I'm so happy for you! Does CS have any single friends? lol They aren't bad to listen to, lol. thank you M&H! Ill ask him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanutbutterandjelly Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 gotta love a man with an accent Happy anniversary by the way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted August 23, 2011 Author Share Posted August 23, 2011 It never gets old. although certain words or phrases it thickens and he has to repeat it. But that happens with my southern drawl as well apparently. Thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renaissancewoman101 Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 Happy anniversary!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted August 24, 2011 Author Share Posted August 24, 2011 Once again I did not want to be here but I'm on the treadmill. I blended my protein shake in the blender today and it tasted sooooo much better than last time. Def be going that route from now on. L and I also discussed the logistics of when for him to get our place in correlation with everything the visa needs on my way to work today. Then when I got to work I had evaluation done - which they had nothing but good things to say. - and they asked me to work 12:30-8:30 thurs instead of 1-9. I also discussed with my boss working 10-6 the day before L lands so I can get home and try to sleep properly before he lands the next day. And my thumb hurts from taking all that hot glue off the bamboo basket last night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 hey! you are doing it! that is awesome. just keep at it. healthy habits. good luck with the visa! i just mailed in my application for a tourist visa to brazil, and that was enough of a pain in the ass! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted August 24, 2011 Author Share Posted August 24, 2011 hey! you are doing it! that is awesome. just keep at it. healthy habits. good luck with the visa! i just mailed in my application for a tourist visa to brazil, and that was enough of a pain in the ass! Healthy thoughts. Healthy thoughts, lol God I am not looking forward to doing it. It's just one big headache really. You have to show x bank statements, x pay check stubs, tenacy agreement, show he has x amount to provide for us after rent and council tax comes out, and so much more. The big thing for us to prove we have maintained a loving marriage while being apart for a year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 well.... you have ENA! just give them the link! and save all your lovey-dovey e-mails! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted August 24, 2011 Author Share Posted August 24, 2011 I don't think I want the UK government to know about ENA. :s Lol, but in all seriousness, they don't even read emails you send. How messed up is that? So we will print out the important ones - when we met, when we talked about our relationships, anything to do with future plans - and print skype call logs and a few other things. It's like you know your relationship is valid but you have to prove it to someone else that it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted August 24, 2011 Author Share Posted August 24, 2011 Spousal abuse is a cause extremely close to my heart. My mom was a victim of spousal abuse by my dad for the entirety of their 8 year marriage. I wish all I knew about the abuse was what she told me but in one of those twists of life, watching my dad hit my mom was probably one of my firsts memories as a child. How messed up is that? But yes, I clearly can recall on many occasions the abuse he put her through. Broken noses, bloody lips, black eyes, bruised arms - you name it, my mom endured it. The really twisted part is over half of the abuse she endured was directed at ME, mom just stepped in between me and dad took the abuse that was meant for me. My dad was a very complicated man. On the one hand I was his first born; his little girl, the light of his life, and the child that could do no wrong. In happier memories I can remember watching him work under the hood of a car (one of the few occupations he could hold for more than 2 weeks) or him taking me to the movies to go see Congo when it came out. I actually remember that night very vividly. It was pouring when we came out of the movie theatre and my dad was in his phase were he wore one of those long trench coats. He just plucked me up and held me under his raincoat as we dashed to the car. But then there was the side of dad that was mean and brutal, who would slap you upside the head at a second's anger or lash out with punches - as my mom found out many a time. He was always sorry afterward, which is always the base with an abuser but he never tried to correct his problem. And it caused one Hell of a confusion in a teenage girl to one minute be dotted on by her father as his first born and the next minute being smacked so hard she actually fell down a flight of stairs once. I don't know why my dad was the way he was. I'm sure some of it had to do with his dad dying when he was 14. My gran always said after that my dad was never the same and went from a straight A student to a high school dropout. But that's who he became, and sadly that's the legacy his 3 children will remember him for. Not the sunny memories of watching him rebuild car motors or rolling dice around the kitchen table or even making snow angels with us out in what little snow we got. No, his children will remember the punches and being slammed into walls and the lying. I know parents aren't perfect and that they make mistakes, but some mistakes you can't forgive. Some mistakes you can't forget. I had a problem of wetting the bed until I was about 12 (probably due to all the crap going on at home) and my brother ended up having the same problem (although I don't think his went that long). But in order to make sure my brother didn't get water at night - because they were positive that was why he was wetting the bed - they constructed a wire fence around the bottom of the bunk bed my brother and sister shared and pad locked him in at night. And people wonder why I left home at 17 and never looked back.... And I may have my issues with my mom about her taking my molester back and she as well is not a perfect parent (is there such a thing as a perfect parent?) but with what she went through with my dad, I tend to look pass certain things. I know what she went through in those 8 years, I saw the bruises and the black eyes and watched my mom put on her make up, put a smile on her face, and go to work 2 jobs while raising 3 kids. She may not be perfect, but she's one Hell of a better person than my father was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 That's such a sad story. I'm so sorry you had to endure, and witness that abuse while growing up, OG. On a lighter note, you came through it all with a good head on your shoulders! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted August 24, 2011 Author Share Posted August 24, 2011 That's such a sad story. I'm so sorry you had to endure, and witness that abuse while growing up, OG. On a lighter note, you came through it all with a good head on your shoulders! I count myself as one of the lucky ones who came through with a good head on her shoulders. I guess in another twisted way I wouldn't want any other childhood. Sure, it would have been nice to not witness the abuse - or go through it myself - but it made me who I am today. We won't be raising our children the way either of us were raised and in a way I'm thankful for the upbringings we had. It showed us what parents AREN'T suppose to do and the line that can be crossed and from a very early stage for both L and I, we knew what kind of parents we wanted to be - and it wasn't what we had. Thank you though Heart. I actually didn't know you read my journal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 Thank you though Heart. I actually didn't know you read my journal. Oh I do enjoy reading it, I just don't comment very often. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted August 24, 2011 Author Share Posted August 24, 2011 Oh I do enjoy reading it, I just don't comment very often. It's always nice to know someone actually reads this rambling monologue, lol So I just went into the kitchen to heat up some hot dog chili -since that's what mom made for supper - I had to reach underneath the sink for a pot and who scares the crap out of me while I'm under there? My mom. Amazing the sound your head can make coming up to connect with the bottom of the counter.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renaissancewoman101 Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 Ouch, hope u didn't hurt yourself. Like HeartGoesOn, I always enjoy reading your journal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted August 24, 2011 Author Share Posted August 24, 2011 Naw, there will be a not though. Aww, thanks Renny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 It's always nice to know someone actually reads this rambling monologue, lolI read it. You write well and interestingly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted August 24, 2011 Author Share Posted August 24, 2011 I read it. You write well and interestingly. Thank you DN. That's one reason I'll be happy for wedding planning to be over with - I can dive back into my novel. Er, what's been in written in 13 years, anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted August 24, 2011 Author Share Posted August 24, 2011 L's birthday falls the week before he comes over here. He talked to his line manager today about getting the wedding time off and he took off for his birthday as well - I don't blame him for that one. Then he gets paid right after he lands back in the UK and he wanted to take a day so he could get a new IPhone - his broke this summer but because of the wedding we just haven't had it to get him a new one. So all that, he has Oct. 6th-Nov. 1st OFF from work. Lucky monkey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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