hers Posted May 14, 2011 Share Posted May 14, 2011 I downloaded a Blogger app for my phone and it makes it SOOOO much easier to post blogs when I'm out and about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted May 14, 2011 Author Share Posted May 14, 2011 What's the app? I usually don't post from my phone- my Droid is soooo slow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hers Posted May 14, 2011 Share Posted May 14, 2011 I hated posting from the website b/c my touchscreen wouldn't work with the text fields and I don't like using the actual keyboard. I decided to look one up and found just an app called Blogger. It was free and super easy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted May 14, 2011 Author Share Posted May 14, 2011 Yeah, that's the main reason I don't post from my phone. My phone BARELY can handle me posting on ENA. :s I'll download it though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted May 14, 2011 Author Share Posted May 14, 2011 150 days til L arrives! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted May 15, 2011 Author Share Posted May 15, 2011 Is exhausted. L is sick and I have a sympathy cold. I'm headed to bed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted May 15, 2011 Author Share Posted May 15, 2011 Post from our blog I'm sharing: As L said in the previous post, I have been dealing with baby fever. One might ask how a 23 year old woman can have baby fever when she has many years of prime fertility left. Well, I'm not your average 23 year old woman. Ever since I was a child I knew what I wanted to do when I grew up: be a mom. Strange dream for a child to have but it was there, one of the few constant things in my life was my desire to be a mom. Remember when you would play 'house' as a kid? I was always the mom. Not just the wife pretending to cook and vacume but the mom with a pretend baby on her hip or a pillow under my shirt for a pregnant belly. I'm sure there is a deep, physco reason why I did but for me it never felt 'odd' or like I was acting in a way I shouldn't. It felt right. Why do I want to be a mom so much? It's hard to explain. Just something about having a life grow inside you, knowing that you have to keep it safe for nine months. That you can't ever get that close to another human being in your entire life but then you have to bring that little person into the world and care for them, teach them the way, and let them walk their own life. I'm not a spiritual person but it's probably the closest to a spiritual moment that I will ever have. It's about creating life and continuing with what we as a race have done for eons and will continue to do. As I grew into a teenager that want turned into a semi-desire. I knew as a teenager I was not ready for a child - even though I wanted one super bad - and for the most part the baby fever was kept at bay by my years in the marching band, barely studying, and trying to live a social life. Fast forward to my early 20's and that's when baby fever hit me full force. It's not a constant feeling, it comes and goes in phases. Sometimes the phase can last a few hours, days, or in a extreme case, months. Usually though it's just a small twinge for a few seconds set off by me walking past the baby aisle in WalMart or seeing a particularly cute baby in a car seat. I can't even remember the last time I had baby fever, more than likely last year I believe but I couldn't tell you when. And I never notice I'm not in baby fever until I'm IN fever. It's like your fine one day and then you realize the baby fever is hitting and you go 'oh, wow. Haven't felt this way in a while.' What has set me off this time - and I suppose the last few times - is the fact that everyone around me is getting pregnant. There are like 10 pregnant girls at work and on the site L and I are on there are even a few. I feel like the Universe is dangling this in front of my eyes and laughing. Every were I look these days there is someone pregnant. And let's not forget all my classmates - or even people who graduated after me - who are either pregnant or have already had a kid. Everyone else has a kid but me, even my own kid sister does! So yes, it's hard to look around you and see everyone else have what you want most in this world, especially when you find an amazing man who wants just what you want as well. L and I already have all of our kids names picked out - we want 4, but we will settle for 3 - and kids are brought up in our daily conversations like it's the most natural thing in the world. We don't say 'the kids' we actually refer to them by name - well, at least the first boy and girl name we have picked out. After I move to England we are waiting about a year before we start trying and that was mostly my idea. And not even when I move over but a year after I find a job. The plan we have is right for us and works for us, it insures we have a nest egg so I can take the length of maternity leave I want without having to worry about money. It's what we both want, myself included. But it doesn't make it easy. I'm 23 and I can hear my biological clock ticking. I have had people tell me before that it can't be ticking at 23 and it's so hard to explain. Unless you have this drive to be a mom, a constant gut feeling that this is what you were born to do, what you were put on this Earth by whoever to do, you can't understand. I'm 23 but my biological clock feels like I'm 38. Rationally I know I have years of fertility left, ample time to get pregnant. With our time line I'll be about 25/26 when we concieve for the first time, some would say the perfect age to do so. Emotionally though, for some reason, I feel like I'm running out of time. I can't explain it. I shouldn't feel this way but I do. tick, tock... tick, tock... Thankfully I have a wonderful fiance who bares with me through all the baby fever and kid talk. I know it has to drive him mad sometimes and I never want him to feel like I'm only with him to have kids - if anything my desire to have kids has grown even more since meeting him because I love him. Who doesn't want kids with the man they love? This will pass, it always does. I'm not worried about when it will pass but I know it will. I wish it would hurry up and pass but I'm just letting it ride it's course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinkerbellkj Posted May 15, 2011 Share Posted May 15, 2011 I can relate to always wanting to be a mom, but I think it was more subconscious most of the time. When I found out I was pregnant, I was terrified, because it wasn't the 'right' time. But as they say, you gotta roll with the punches. Your time will come (I was 26 when Mark was born) before you know it, and then you'll be pregnant and you'll be even more anxious for it to come! It's funny because when I was pregnant, I wanted soooo much for it to be rushed and over and to meet my baby, but then once I wasn't pregnant (I, like you, know a TON of pregnant people, some I am extremely close to) I missed it. It seems like you always want to be in the place that you're not, you know? And then sometimes you forget to enjoy whatever is happening at the time. Well, at least with me, I do that. But, I digress, hindsight is 20/20. You'll get there! When it comes on REALLY strong, remember how much you love your sleep hahaha, because I truly, truly would be lying if I didn't say I missed that... A LOT!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted May 15, 2011 Author Share Posted May 15, 2011 Aww, thanks Tink. I'm honestly the best canidate for a mom - I don't sleep at night (insomnia) so not getting any sleep and running on two hours of sleep I'm use to it, I do it now, lol. L Doesn't see how I survive on 2 hours but sometimes I run better on it than a full 8 hours. A girl at work asked me tonight how was I excited to change diapers and all I could think about was that before work I had to change one of Tyler's diapers - MASSIVE poo - and it didn't phase me. Not one bit. And then he threw up on me and I just handed him off to mom, went and changed, and kept going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinkerbellkj Posted May 15, 2011 Share Posted May 15, 2011 Aww, thanks Tink. I'm honestly the best canidate for a mom - I don't sleep at night (insomnia) so not getting any sleep and running on two hours of sleep I'm use to it, I do it now, lol. L Doesn't see how I survive on 2 hours but sometimes I run better on it than a full 8 hours. A girl at work asked me tonight how was I excited to change diapers and all I could think about was that before work I had to change one of Tyler's diapers - MASSIVE poo - and it didn't phase me. Not one bit. And then he threw up on me and I just handed him off to mom, went and changed, and kept going. You're better than me, I stumble into the kitchen with my eyes half open trying to make a bottle and want to take a nap on the floor while it heats up! I definitely don't enjoy diapers, but they don't bother me either, just want my baby to be clean and dry! I have worked with kids forever and changed many diapers, and I hated that. Mark's, well, it's just a way of life! My husband had never changed a diaper (I don't think most men really have...) until he was born and he took to it fine, he always joked when I was pregnant he wasn't changing any diapers, but obviously that would NEVER fly! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted May 15, 2011 Author Share Posted May 15, 2011 You're better than me, I stumble into the kitchen with my eyes half open trying to make a bottle and want to take a nap on the floor while it heats up! I definitely don't enjoy diapers, but they don't bother me either, just want my baby to be clean and dry! I have worked with kids forever and changed many diapers, and I hated that. Mark's, well, it's just a way of life! My husband had never changed a diaper (I don't think most men really have...) until he was born and he took to it fine, he always joked when I was pregnant he wasn't changing any diapers, but obviously that would NEVER fly! lol, yeah no, lack of sleep is something I have going for me. L, on the other hand... lol. Poor guy. He needs his 8 hours. He has said that he wouldn't mind getting up while he is on paternity leave and burping the baby after I feed them. Although when he goes back to work I won't wake him up since he works first shift. L has never changed a diaper either - in fact last Oct. he held Tyler and that was the first baby he held- but even just doing that I could see how natural it was to him. He was a little paranoid I think he would drop him but after a few seconds he relaxed and it was natural. Oh yeah, L claims that to. He ALSO claims that when I get pregnant we are buying one of those $300 cat liter boxs so he doesn't have to do Jasper's litter - since I can't. We'll see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinkerbellkj Posted May 15, 2011 Share Posted May 15, 2011 lol, yeah no, lack of sleep is something I have going for me. L, on the other hand... lol. Poor guy. He needs his 8 hours. He has said that he wouldn't mind getting up while he is on paternity leave and burping the baby after I feed them. Although when he goes back to work I won't wake him up since he works first shift. Yeah, I don't wake my husband up either, because he does get up early for work. But, on the weekends, he gets up!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted May 15, 2011 Author Share Posted May 15, 2011 Yeah, I don't wake my husband up either, because he does get up early for work. But, on the weekends, he gets up!! I'm def. looking forward to the 6 month maternity leave in the UK - I believe that's what it is. I know it's longer than here - 6 weeks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinkerbellkj Posted May 15, 2011 Share Posted May 15, 2011 I'm def. looking forward to the 6 month maternity leave in the UK - I believe that's what it is. I know it's longer than here - 6 weeks. Is it 6 months? Or is it a year? I used to post on a pregnancy board with almost all UK women, and I know most spoke of a year. However, I don't understand the whole system, maybe 6 months was full pay and the other 6 months was partial? I could never keep up! I know my job doesn't have maternity period. IF you pay into Short term you can get 6 weeks paid at 60% and then have 6 weeks of unpaid FMLA. It's really pathetic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted May 15, 2011 Author Share Posted May 15, 2011 Is it 6 months? Or is it a year? I used to post on a pregnancy board with almost all UK women, and I know most spoke of a year. However, I don't understand the whole system, maybe 6 months was full pay and the other 6 months was partial? I could never keep up! I know my job doesn't have maternity period. IF you pay into Short term you can get 6 weeks paid at 60% and then have 6 weeks of unpaid FMLA. It's really pathetic. Wiki says 39 weeks (but is due to rise to 52 weeks last month) 6 weeks which are 90% of your salary and after that a flat rate of about $200 (give or take on the exchange rate). But then under a unpaid maternity leave coloumn it says 13 weeks unpaid (52 paid and unpaid total). So that's almost a year, yeah, since a pregnancy is 40 weeks and that's 9 months. It really is. We are building a nest egg up before we concieve but even with that I think I would try to go back at 6 months, if not part time then full time. Who knows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honey Pumpkin Posted May 15, 2011 Share Posted May 15, 2011 SMP is not that great. You get six weeks at 90% of your wage, then you get about £120 for the next 8 months (I think). Okay if it's not the only income. But better than other countries! One thing is that the conservatives are cutting a lot of benefits (disability, housing benefit etc), and are in the process of dismantling the NHS, although the reforms may not go through. I don't know what the US is like though, so maybe it's a lot better??? Seems that we are having a lot of savage cuts and will continue to do so over the next few years. Whereabouts will you be settling, without being too specific? I do like it here, but I fantasise about the lifestyles in the US, lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted May 15, 2011 Author Share Posted May 15, 2011 SMP is not that great. You get six weeks at 90% of your wage, then you get about £120 for the next 8 months (I think). Okay if it's not the only income. But better than other countries! One thing is that the conservatives are cutting a lot of benefits (disability, housing benefit etc), and are in the process of dismantling the NHS, although the reforms may not go through. I don't know what the US is like though, so maybe it's a lot better??? Seems that we are having a lot of savage cuts and will continue to do so over the next few years. Whereabouts will you be settling, without being too specific? I do like it here, but I fantasise about the lifestyles in the US, lol. When it comes to health care and maternity leave, the Uk has the US beat. My fiance gets sick he can go to a doctor and get a prescription if he wants - I, as someone who can't afford the $100 health insurance, have to rely on over the counter meds. Every country has it's problem of course but even with the lowered rate after 6 weeks, L makes a pretty good living. That and that's why we are building a nest egg up before we concieve. We will be settlign in the lower Southwest of England. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted May 15, 2011 Share Posted May 15, 2011 When it comes to health care and maternity leave, the Uk has the US beat. My fiance gets sick he can go to a doctor and get a prescription if he wants - I, as someone who can't afford the $100 health insurance, have to rely on over the counter meds. Every country has it's problem of course but even with the lowered rate after 6 weeks, L makes a pretty good living. That and that's why we are building a nest egg up before we concieve. We will be settlign in the lower Southwest of England. From what I understand taxes are far higher in the UK (so you basically pay more for these maternity/health care benefits) and from what I have heard anecdotally the free health care is far inferior to that available in the United States. Obviously my sources might be incorrect but I have heard this and read about it many times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted May 15, 2011 Author Share Posted May 15, 2011 From what I understand taxes are far higher in the UK (so you basically pay more for these maternity/health care benefits) and from what I have heard anecdotally the free health care is far inferior to that available in the United States. Obviously my sources might be incorrect but I have heard this and read about it many times. Yes, they are one of the most heavily taxed countries in Europe but because of those higher taxes, you have the NHS. Peronsally I'd rather pay 20% on taxes and be able to go to a doctor when I'm sick for actual medication than it being 2-3 years between doctors visits because I can't afford to take care of myself. One of the main reasons I'm moving there. And yes, the NHS is limited to how it can use the funds they have but again - I"d rather have a limited medical resource than not at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted May 15, 2011 Share Posted May 15, 2011 Yes, they are one of the most heavily taxed countries in Europe but because of those higher taxes, you have the NHS. Peronsally I'd rather pay 20% on taxes and be able to go to a doctor when I'm sick for actual medication than it being 2-3 years between doctors visits because I can't afford to take care of myself. One of the main reasons I'm moving there. And yes, the NHS is limited to how it can use the funds they have but again - I"d rather have a limited medical resource than not at all. I'm very happy to have the medical care I do through health insurance (through an employer which I have done for the last 20 years or so) - the taxes would be a real downside for me particularly given what I have heard about the inferior health care in the UK (the "free" type that is). To me the quality of medical care is a top priority particularly since I got pregnant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted May 15, 2011 Author Share Posted May 15, 2011 I obviously can't personally compare but L has never had a problem with it or recieved below standard care.Everything I have read about their pregnwcy stuff is the same as us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honey Pumpkin Posted May 15, 2011 Share Posted May 15, 2011 Actually, while the NHS is fantastic, you can count on losing about a third of your salary to taxes and national insurance. But it's worth it in the end. I don't think the healthcare is inferior, Batya, but I live in Scotland and we have quite good care here. But yes, the amount you lose on your wages is shocking. Plus: road tax, VAT @ 20%, tv licence etc etc. Very heavily taxed. But you will like the NHS, it's good service. I am always shocked to hear of people not being able to get the healthcare they need in other countries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted May 15, 2011 Share Posted May 15, 2011 Actually, while the NHS is fantastic, you can count on losing about a third of your salary to taxes and national insurance. But it's worth it in the end. I don't think the healthcare is inferior, Batya, but I live in Scotland and we have quite good care here. But yes, the amount you lose on your wages is shocking. Plus: road tax, VAT @ 20%, tv licence etc etc. Very heavily taxed. But you will like the NHS, it's good service. I am always shocked to hear of people not being able to get the healthcare they need in other countries. Good to hear you have had good experiences! I too am concerned about lack of access to healthcare but as between getting insurance through an employer and having to resort to public health care only I'd choose the former based on what I have heard/read. I mentioned the taxes just to clarify that of course the medical care is not free. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted May 15, 2011 Author Share Posted May 15, 2011 Of course it isnt free. But as I said, and as the other poster pointed out, I would rather pay a large amount of taxes and get access to it then none at all. I can even get my migraine looked at and that hasn't happened here since i was 16. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted May 15, 2011 Share Posted May 15, 2011 Of course it isnt free. But as I said, and as the other poster pointed out, I would rather pay a large amount of taxes and get access to it then none at all. I can even get my migraine looked at and that hasn't happened here since i was 16. Of course it can happen in the united states if you have health insurance and/or can pay for a private doctor (it couldn't happen in the UK either if you didn't pay taxes and in the US if, god forbid ,your migraine was of emergency proportions you could go to an ER). That it hasn't happened for you is simply because you either don't get health insurance through your employer (or your parents' employer/health insurance) or you can't afford/do not choose to pay for a private doctor. I'm not going to tell you how to spend your money but I would definitely pay to see a doctor and forego bridal portraits and other wedding luxuries if at all possible if I were you - your health and well-being should come first. But I'm not you. I agree for someone who cannot afford private health care and is not employed or covered by health insurance and doesn't mind paying for health care by being taxed ,the UK system might work better. I would add to that, based again on what I've heard ,that there is a risk of inferior health care in the UK. I wouldn't want my ailment looked at by just anyone particularly if, like a migraine, it required an evaluation of what kind of medicine and what dosage to take -that requires a level of skill and competence beyond a typical physical. I hope it works out for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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