dancing_magpie Posted July 25, 2010 Share Posted July 25, 2010 I think part of it is luck... I met my partner online (dating site - and a free one!) and we've been together a year. A close friend of mine met her guy online too and they've been together 18 months. I agree that there are lot of dubious types out there but there were also some lovely people too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newwave Posted July 25, 2010 Share Posted July 25, 2010 Ok, while I was reading this thread I was informed I got an email from eHarmony to try them free. If my current situation doesn't work out I might try online dating again, but only if other avenues are exhausted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HouseKitten Posted July 25, 2010 Share Posted July 25, 2010 As with any avenue of dating, be it online, clubs, bars, meet up groups, speed dating, etc etc, your chances of success are always subject to who else joins, luck, your area, your age group, what you personally are looking for.... I met my boyfriend online and we're both normal people. Conversely, I've never met anyone worth meeting in a bar. By the logic of people who 'fail' at online dating, therefore bars must be a rubbish place to go dating in reality, it just didn't work for me. Also, a lot of people who have spurned online dating assume the problem is the site, or other people online. Well, perhaps it was you. Maybe you didn't write a very good profile. Maybe your picture wasn't flattering, or you thought not putting one up at all was a good move. Etc etc. There are a lot of variables. If you persist with it, you have to acknowledge that it might take days to meet the right man, or he might not decide to give a try himself for another four months! You have to look at it as just another nice way to meet potential dates, not some failed method that's supposed to be foolproof. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newwave Posted July 25, 2010 Share Posted July 25, 2010 My problem with online wasn't that I didn't meet guys. In fact I was bombarded with emails and met quite a few. My problem was I didn't meet any I was interested in except one, who turned out to be married. I think in my case (I've noticed this) I don't fall in love until I get to really know someone and online dating this can take months to accomplish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HouseKitten Posted July 25, 2010 Share Posted July 25, 2010 My problem with online wasn't that I didn't meet guys. In fact I was bombarded with emails and met quite a few. My problem was I didn't meet any I was interested in except one, who turned out to be married. I think in my case (I've noticed this) I don't fall in love until I get to really know someone and online dating this can take months to accomplish. Not meeting people and not meeting ones you're interested in might as well be the same, you're still in the same place. I get the feeling people have a disproportionate expectation from online dating because you can meet so many people in so little time. If you were in a bar with the same number of men that you might find in your area online, will you be attracted to all of them? Not even close. It's luck whether you meet someone you like in either situation. In online dating though, it's just quicker to sift through people. If you're finding it takes too long online for you then start asking to meet up sooner. If someone is genuinely single and interested, and I appreciate that some time-wasters aren't, then they'll be just as eager to move things along. It by no means has to take months unless both of you fail to move things forward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snoopydog Posted July 25, 2010 Share Posted July 25, 2010 I agree with all this. Pretty much took the words out of my mouth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
25something Posted July 26, 2010 Author Share Posted July 26, 2010 First of all getting emails was not an issue for me, but majority of them were not even worth the time or day. I don't blame this online dating on myself or am I'm blaming the website, I'm just saying there are alot of losers who pose on these websites therefore I won't be giving it another try. I think its easier for ppl like you to defend online dating because you found someone on there. The majority of people I know that has done the whole online dating has failed. Every once in a while do I hear a success story. Yes I do agree that there are normal everyday people who sign up, but at the same time there is a bunch of low life losers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
25something Posted July 26, 2010 Author Share Posted July 26, 2010 Ok, while I was reading this thread I was informed I got an email from eHarmony to try them free. If my current situation doesn't work out I might try online dating again, but only if other avenues are exhausted. Newwave good luck! I think I have permanent scars from this whole online thing lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newwave Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 Most of the time I met right away but most were guys I wasn't attracted to. In fact in general I never found many guys I was attracted to from online. Could be me, but I saw too many of the type I don't like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newwave Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 Newwave good luck! I think I have permanent scars from this whole online thing lol Thanks, I probably do too, but might consider again only if my current situation doesn't work and I can't find someone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sorrento Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 Thanks, I probably do too, but might consider again only if my current situation doesn't work and I can't find someone else. 100% agree with this statement. Online is strange and full of even more minefields than real-life dating. Urgh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randomgirl59 Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 Most of the time I met right away but most were guys I wasn't attracted to. In fact in general I never found many guys I was attracted to from online. Could be me, but I saw too many of the type I don't like. same here. And the one guy I was attracted to and had great conversations with just up and stopped messaging me. Awesome. now cue the "you're to picky and shallow" comments I'm debating deleting my profile, I just dont have time nor do I even care much about it anymore. I keep teetering between complete loss of hope that I will ever find someone, to thinking I should stick it out just in case I do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dancing_magpie Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 It surprises me (and makes me kind of sad) that some people just don't seem to have had much luck with online dating as or me it was literally a life-saver. If there was no online dating I'm 100% certain I would still be alone. In fact I've never dated the normal way so it's not like I can even compare the two. I had no 'romantic' relationships until the age of 29 - I realised that nothing was going to happen with me sitting at home, and so online dating was the perfect tool. I had a bit of a hiccup with the first guy but the second guy was great and I've been with him about a year. I think it's true that as a woman you get a lot of rubbish messages from really sleazy guys who are just after sex. But they're pretty easy to weed out. I also think that it's important how you write your profile and what pics you put up...However that said, I used a free site and didn't put up a pic of myself. The first ad or profile I wrote was pretty simple but I got 2-3 'quality' guys from that (still managed to choose the jerk though). My second ad was much better written and a bit alternative too - I got a ridiculous amount of replies, but it was one of the first responders (my current partner) who really stuck out and who I ended up with. I think my experience was partly dumb luck but I made clear what I was after in that second ad... and I got it. My friend who has been with the guy she met online for 18 months now, had virtually given up when he contacted her. She'd had a lot of bad luck with the online guys (and real life ones too) but had just stuck it out... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newwave Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 same here. And the one guy I was attracted to and had great conversations with just up and stopped messaging me. Awesome. now cue the "you're to picky and shallow" comments I'm debating deleting my profile, I just dont have time nor do I even care much about it anymore. I keep teetering between complete loss of hope that I will ever find someone, to thinking I should stick it out just in case I do. I've gotten so many picky and shallow comments from others I am used to it. I've had people tell me I should give certain guys from online a chance but I just can't budge on certain things. I like nerdy type science fiction guys, not the burly type and would likely online not give those guys a chance. However, if I met them in person and got to know them I might fall for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanutbutterandjelly Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 it's great to hear a success story. I have found love online before so I stay optomistic, but it doesnt seem to be happening as easily this time around. Can I ask what site you used? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sorrento Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 it's great to hear a success story. I have found love online before so I stay optomistic, but it doesnt seem to be happening as easily this time around. Can I ask what site you used? Yeah, I'd like to know which site too - I don't really want to pay for the service because I'm just testing the waters (so to speak) so anyone who knows of a good free site, feel free to let me know! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dancing_magpie Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Sorry guys - the free site I met my guy through shut down its dating/personal ads section last September. It was gumtree... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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