Lady Rashomon Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 I'm curious as to whether other women feel self-conscious about receiving oral sex, even if they really enjoy it. I realize that I have always had difficulty asking lovers for it (it usually only happens when they volunteer), and even when they do it, I sometimes feel self-conscious or even guilty--like I'm putting them out or being selfish. I'm not typically self-conscious and I love my body, so I don't know why I feel this way--it sometimes gets in the way of having a good time, mainly because I tend to overthink it. Any advice on how to get over this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bungalo Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 If you don't have body image problems...consider this. If a guy does it-without you requesting it...he really likes it . Guys won't go down if they don't like it, or have a problem with it. Assuming you're fresh and clean...don't worry about it..It's a huge turn on for many many guys..no need to feel guilty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Archer Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 A agree with bungalo, if he wants to give you oral sex then surely he doesn’t have a problem with it. I love giving oral. I find it’s the easiest way for me to make my partner climax. It’s a huge turn on to feel how turned on she gets. Honestly I could do it over and over and over again. Feeling her orgasm is incredible. Definitely very physically and emotionally rewarding. It is nice if a women is clean down there though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KG Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 You have to trust him. It's an intimate act, but agree with above posters. If he initiates it, go with it. If you feel "not fresh", do it in the shower. But any woman I've gone south with was always delighted. All but one, she was just frigid, sexually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Rashomon Posted July 23, 2010 Author Share Posted July 23, 2010 Thanks for the responses. I'm very finicky about cleanliness, so that isn't an issue at all. I think it is far more about trust and reciprocity than anything else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KG Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 Thanks for the responses. I'm very finicky about cleanliness, so that isn't an issue at all. I think it is far more about trust and reciprocity than anything else. Not prying, but do you go south on a guy w/o any issues? No need to answer if you don't want to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovelace Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 I get self-conscious too. I always wash down there quite thoroughly if I think any activity is going to happen, but I'm terrified that he'll be grossed out or whatever. Unfortunately, it's the only way I can orgasm, soooo....they'd better love doing it or we won't last. lol. I mostly just suck it up and go with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Rashomon Posted July 23, 2010 Author Share Posted July 23, 2010 Not prying, but do you go south on a guy w/o any issues? No need to answer if you don't want to. Without hesitation. Pleasuring my partner is something that I do unreservedly--but for some reason, allowing myself to receive in return is much more difficult, which is very frustrating. Every time he does it, I feel like he's doing me a favor or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Rashomon Posted July 23, 2010 Author Share Posted July 23, 2010 I get self-conscious too. I always wash down there quite thoroughly if I think any activity is going to happen, but I'm terrified that he'll be grossed out or whatever. Unfortunately, it's the only way I can orgasm, soooo....they'd better love doing it or we won't last. lol. I mostly just suck it up and go with it. I think this is what I've internalized, which is actually quite ridiculous because if you were to actually compare, I'm much cleaner and more hygienic than my husband! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Archer Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 Without hesitation. Pleasuring my partner is something that I do unreservedly--but for some reason, allowing myself to receive in return is much more difficult, which is very frustrating. Every time he does it, I feel like he's doing me a favor or something. I doubt this is the way he sees it. Like I say, giving a woman oral sex can be hugely rewarding. The feeling of her pleasure feeds pleasure back to her partner. When giving you oral sex he might be “giving” pleasure but he is also “receiving” pleasure at the same time. I read one of your earlier threads. I can see oral sex is very important to you. This is the same for me. I could probably handle being with someone who didn’t give me oral but I wouldn’t be happy with a partner who didn’t like receiving oral. I enjoy giving more than receiving, although receiving is very nice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 I'm like that in the beginning. That first time I'm super worried about smell, taste, you name it, the thought goes through my mind. My ex didn't help matters by telling me he didn't like to do it to me (and then stopped doing it all together the last two years). Needless to say my fiance had to overcome a lot lol. But just as long as he wants to do it, I wouldn't worry. Ask him every now and then if it's okay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostman5 Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 I think most good lovers want to please who they are with, so if it is the only way you can have an O, then you should do your best to get over the insecurities and let him pleasure you. I would die if I couldn't please my partners. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovelace Posted July 25, 2010 Share Posted July 25, 2010 Hardboiledegg, Yeah, I totally get you. It's an internalized fear, from all the moaning I've heard from guys over the years about how they 'don't like to do that' and how they 'have a smell'. No doubt they've never smelled themselves down there. They can be RIPE! And I have a pretty one. All tucked up in a little purse, clean as a whistle and soft. So yeah, it's not a logical fear, just pure trigger reaction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Rashomon Posted July 25, 2010 Author Share Posted July 25, 2010 Another huge issue I have: I can't seem to be able to ASK for it even when it's what I really want. I guess there's a fear of seeming too rude or demanding or something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perth_man87 Posted July 25, 2010 Share Posted July 25, 2010 I remember the first 2 times I tried giving my girlfriend oral sex it just didn't work for me I didn't like the smell or the taste and it put me off and I had to stop. I felt SO BAD about it! Then one night months later we were fooling around and I noticed she had removed all her hair down there. Appreciating that she had done something to try and make things more fun for me I tried again... and WOW! I could not get enough of it! The smell, the taste, the way I made her feel; all of that was amazing! She came 3 times and I even got an ulcer on my tongue from it going against my teeth! (still new to it haha) When I came back up I was almost as giddy and excited as her and let her know about it, coming out with such witty lines as "oh my god that was so good *giggle* but oh my god it really was!" Maybe that's the key? Guys should maybe show how much fun it is for them; because unless things aren't clean down there... it's like there's a party in your mouth and everyone's invited. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Rashomon Posted July 25, 2010 Author Share Posted July 25, 2010 Yes, I think enthusiasm from the giver is certainly key. And I'm all about making the experience as pleasant as you can for the person going down on you, so regular waxing is a must for me. (Just wish that more men took stock of this as well and paid more attention to personal grooming--perhaps the female organ is more high maintenance but a penis isn't exactly a chocolate-covered rose either.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovelace Posted July 25, 2010 Share Posted July 25, 2010 Yeah, I shave. It's not a hair issue. Yes, more men need to be clean shaven, or trimmed waaaaaaaay down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thathoopla Posted July 25, 2010 Share Posted July 25, 2010 Do you orgasm from it? I noticed that when I first started receiving - I was really self-conscious. Our inexperience also made it a little harder. Once he got better with more practice, and more love OUTSIDE of the bedroom, I learned to orgasm and my self consciousness about that area with him almost disappeared. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenzie76 Posted July 25, 2010 Share Posted July 25, 2010 I've had issues in the past with receiving oral, never of a body conscious nature or hygiene concerns, I was just never really any good at just lying back and doing nothing- I felt kind of guilty at just laying there, I've always been pretty hands on... That was until I got with my now boyfriend. At the time we were just 'friends' and we kind of found ourselves in a hot situation. We were kissing and he kind of made a bee line for down there and I was 'woah!!' and stopped him. We spoke a bit and got it on a bit more and he said how he'd always wanted me and just had to give me oral, he did and it was like being worshipped! I know no matter what I think, he thinks I am the hottest thing ever and the thought of me being there powerless and him being able to turn me on with his mouth was the hottest thing he could imagine. And it was. If a guy wants to do that to you- then their aim is to give you as much pleasure as they can. Its a real compliment and a massive turn on for them to turn you on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perth_man87 Posted July 25, 2010 Share Posted July 25, 2010 Yes, I think enthusiasm from the giver is certainly key. And I'm all about making the experience as pleasant as you can for the person going down on you, so regular waxing is a must for me. (Just wish that more men took stock of this as well and paid more attention to personal grooming--perhaps the female organ is more high maintenance but a penis isn't exactly a chocolate-covered rose either.) Well she had actually only removed hair down to where I actually got into it so the hair wasn't a problem for me (actually a bit of a turn on cus it was wild ect.) but yeah I think that's got to be the best thing- if you make it to be something fun, not a chore then both will like it better. What sort of grooming do you prefer? I'd imagine all girls have different tastes when it comes to that, but it's just not something I've really thought about, especially since breaking up with the girl I was talking about I don't worry about all this as much Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Rashomon Posted July 25, 2010 Author Share Posted July 25, 2010 Do you orgasm from it? I noticed that when I first started receiving - I was really self-conscious. Our inexperience also made it a little harder. Once he got better with more practice, and more love OUTSIDE of the bedroom, I learned to orgasm and my self consciousness about that area with him almost disappeared. ALWAYS. But it took me two years to get to that point, for pretty much the reasons that you've stated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Rashomon Posted July 25, 2010 Author Share Posted July 25, 2010 Well she had actually only removed hair down to where I actually got into it so the hair wasn't a problem for me (actually a bit of a turn on cus it was wild ect.) but yeah I think that's got to be the best thing- if you make it to be something fun, not a chore then both will like it better. What sort of grooming do you prefer? I'd imagine all girls have different tastes when it comes to that, but it's just not something I've really thought about, especially since breaking up with the girl I was talking about I don't worry about all this as much Several years ago I was dating an older man who was very nicely trimmed. He also waxed his balls, which was DEFINITELY something that I appreciated (not sure how many other men would do the same). He had to have been about 25 years my senior. And when it came to giving, he was heavenly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Rashomon Posted July 25, 2010 Author Share Posted July 25, 2010 Wow, I just realized I've had two other lovers in the past who did the same thing, and I stopped them because I thought they were doing it "just to be nice." Meh, I really need to break out of this very limited perspective. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greywolf Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 I get self-conscious sometimes when I feel like I'm taking too long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetkisses22 Posted August 27, 2010 Share Posted August 27, 2010 Yea im exactly the same way and so are all of my friends. Most women feel self conscious. Thoughts like am i fresh down there, do i taste bad, or is my vagina attractive enough lol. It happens but just remember, if they're offering to do it they want to! If they didn't want to do it believe me they wont do it. Just relax and enjoy it. Don't think so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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