Guys : What makes you approach a woman in a club/bar setting?

[lostgirlaus]

So I've decided I'm going to try and get over the guy from my previous two threads.

 

My friends and I are going to a bar with a good music and a pretty big dancefloor, on Friday. I have mixed responses everytime I go out. Sometimes I'll go out and get approached by 3-4 guys in a night, sometimes I'll go out and not get approached by anyone.

 

What catches your eye in this sort of setting? What makes a woman more approachable? Would you approach a woman who is by herself or in a group of other women?

[bluen]

I would never want to meet a women at a club or bar.

[ponyboy]

I think its all personal taste. When im out with the guys at a bar or club if i see a girl i think is cute i will say something. If i dont like what i see i wont say anything. So maybe you just fit the bill for those 4 guys that night.

[xyzzzz]

well dont go out to score guys..enjoy yourself and that can attract guys..and when u see someone cute u just smile at them lol the rest will just flow to u.

one night with 4 guys the other night with none is pretty normal i think..we all have luck sometimes and other times not.also it depends on clubs

[OntheWire]

I'll smile at girls when I'm out, but I never approach them.

[pl3asehelp]

I'd say avoid anywhere with a big dance floor as guys don't really like to dance. The only reason a guy would be dancing is if he's desperate to get some and that's his goal for the night. If you want to meet a quality guy, he won't be dancing.

[lostgirlaus]

I'd say avoid anywhere with a big dance floor as guys don't really like to dance. The only reason a guy would be dancing is if he's desperate to get some and that's his goal for the night. If you want to meet a quality guy, he won't be dancing.

 

So I should hang out near the bar?

[xyzzzz]

I'd say avoid anywhere with a big dance floor as guys don't really like to dance. The only reason a guy would be dancing is if he's desperate to get some and that's his goal for the night. If you want to meet a quality guy, he won't be dancing.

 

kind of true..but dance floor is easier to hit on girls..i dunno..there are many guys on the dance floor anyway and they are good dancers and look good...i wouldnt sit there just to get good guys...that's too boring..

when u sit there talking to ur friends...hardly any guy will just go up and interrupt u guys and approach u i think..

[SheBrokeMe]

As long as your not looking for a relationship.....

 

Bar scenes are about the one night stands and someone runnin' a train on you.

 

Excuse the terminology.

 

 

That said, if its what you want.. Just have fun. As long as your smiling laughing, flirting, dancing... Having a good time. They will come.

[Teaday]

I'd say avoid anywhere with a big dance floor as guys don't really like to dance. The only reason a guy would be dancing is if he's desperate to get some and that's his goal for the night. If you want to meet a quality guy, he won't be dancing.

 

?? A couple of my closest guy friends are always out on the dance floor with me, with no intention of getting any action and honestly have no reason to be desperate. As a female who loves to bop around on the dance floor, I don't know if someone who doesn't like to dance would even enjoy hanging out with me. It doesn't mean I don't like quality, I just like to have fun. (Well now. I pictured a floozy saying that and I suppose it can be taken wrong. What I mean here is the "girls just wanna have fun" type of fun, rather the opposing "bump n grind" fun. Just for the record

 

Anyways, back to the subject at hand. I know I'm not a man, but the few times an interested guy has mentioned why they approached me, they said it's because I looked like I was having fun with my friends and that I seemed very comfortable with where I was. Of course they mentioned that there was a physical attraction, but in that case, a little confidence and a big smile goes a long way.

 

I'll say this a million more times to people who want to meet someone at the bar: stop trying so hard, and have fun!

[cm17]

I have definitely heard some stories of couples meeting at a bar. Its a social atmosphere. That being said most of the guys you meet probably aren't looking for anything serious. Still some flirting can do wonders for your self esteem. I've actually made some friends (just friends) at bars/concerts. I've experienced the same thing, I don't think its about how you dress so much as how much fun you're having. Seems like girls who aren't hoping to meet men end up getting hit on the most, probably cause they are focused on fun.

[carra]

I'll just quote myself from a similar thread, since these 2 tips also apply here:

[pl3asehelp]

So I should hang out near the bar?

 

Better off going somewhere without dancing at all. No guys would ever get together and be like, 'hey, let's go out dancing tonight, won't that be fun?' UNLESS their intention is to find some horny easy chick at a club who likes to dance and they just want to get laid. If it's real guys you want to find, have to go where there's no dancing.

[Teaday]

Better off going somewhere without dancing at all. No guys would ever get together and be like, 'hey, let's go out dancing tonight, won't that be fun?' UNLESS their intention is to find some horny easy chick at a club who likes to dance and they just want to get laid. If it's real guys you want to find, have to go where there's no dancing.

 

Reminds me of an argument straight from Footloose.

 

Again, go where you'll have most fun and feel most natural. My best friend's parents met at a bar and bonded over music/dancing (whatever that might've encompassed 30 years ago). Do what fits your lifestyle and project yourself in a manner that suits yourself and what will make you happy.

[nutz76]

So I've decided I'm going to try and get over the guy from my previous two threads.

 

My friends and I are going to a bar with a good music and a pretty big dancefloor, on Friday. I have mixed responses everytime I go out. Sometimes I'll go out and get approached by 3-4 guys in a night, sometimes I'll go out and not get approached by anyone.

 

What catches your eye in this sort of setting? What makes a woman more approachable? Would you approach a woman who is by herself or in a group of other women?

 

If they're hot, if they're with a bunch of guys, and their demeanor. And in that order.

[Cognitive_Canine]

If they're hot, if they're with a bunch of guys, and their demeanor. And in that order.

 

 

Can you explain this one?

[nutz76]

Can you explain this one?

 

If they're with a bunch of guys then you've got to figure out if one is the husband or bf, or if they're all just "friends". Someones that influences if I want to approach them.

[bish0p2004]

If I see a woman I'm attracted to staring and smiling at me hardcore, I will approach.

[Flint_Wood]

What's with all the hate of the dance floor? If guys aren't going out to dance, they're out to meet women. Guess what, single guys are horny, at least good dancers are likely to be better in bed.

 

Anyways, I talk to women who:

 

-give some solid eye contact, complete with a smile

-are next to me in line at bar/outside

-are wearing something interesting or easy for me to comment on

-fall on me in all their drunken glory

[Shudder]

i find i tend to get along with the girls that are most comfortable with themselves without the 1000 layers of makeup, fancy dresses and what not. and they are just their to enjoy the music, not attention. those are normally the ones to get my attention.. but they are pretty rare

[Day_Walker]

I look for two things, eye contact and positive body language. Also important is that a girl doesnt position herself where it would be difficult to approach her, i.e. is in a large group of people and never breaks away.

[pl3asehelp]

Reminds me of an argument straight from Footloose.

 

Again, go where you'll have most fun and feel most natural. My best friend's parents met at a bar and bonded over music/dancing (whatever that might've encompassed 30 years ago). Do what fits your lifestyle and project yourself in a manner that suits yourself and what will make you happy.

 

Well I think 30 years ago people actually danced when they went out dancing. They knew specific dances, steps, the foxtrot, ballroom, whatever, skills you needed to learn how to do. What I see now when people say they go dance at a club is they just grind up on each other like dry humping. I've honestly never been to a club and seen anyone dancing in a way that would indicate they have any idea what dancing is.

[Teaday]

Well I think 30 years ago people actually danced when they went out dancing. They knew specific dances, steps, the foxtrot, ballroom, whatever, skills you needed to learn how to do. What I see now when people say they go dance at a club is they just grind up on each other like dry humping. I've honestly never been to a club and seen anyone dancing in a way that would indicate they have any idea what dancing is.

 

I can't really imagine the Michael Jackson generation doing the foxtrot. Ah well, guess it all boils down to what type of club you're going to and what you enjoy. Whether a bump-n-grinder, head-bobber, wallflower, or barstool-sitter; the chances of meeting a man who's only looking for sex is relatively high no matter what you're doing, especially in a place where people are pumping alcohol through their veins.

 

Everything boils down to confidence in the end, which includes knowing what you want and not settling for whatever looks your way. Wherever you find it, on the dancefloor or not.