lostgirlaus Posted July 20, 2010 Share Posted July 20, 2010 So those of you who read my last thread, I wasn't planning on talking to the guy about us for at least a month. I thought I'd go with the flow and see what happens, but it some how came up today. The whole day we didn’t make out, even though there were times I could tell he wanted to and so did I, it just never happened. He came to drop me home on the train and my station is the last, so we were sitting in the train talking and I go “so you didn’t break the ice today and he said “neither did you”. I asked if we had to break the ice each time and he goes “do we have to make out each time?” I said no. I think he realized that it might not be wise after what happened last time, or something idk. We somehow got talking about relationships and he said “I’m not looking for a relationship at the moment because I’ve got a lot on my plate, nothing personal”. He named about 5 things and that he just didn’t have time for a girlfriend right now. He also told me that what he’s doing with me he “isn’t doing it with 10 other girls”. So I have mixed feelings. I’m willing to wait for him but only if I know we’ll be together eventually, I don’t want to wait for him and later down the track he gets with someone else. He broke up with his ex about 6 months ago, and they had a miscarriage so he said he’s recovering from that. I don’t know, he told me that he wanted to get all this stuff clear because he didn’t want to lead me on, because he’s had that done to him before. He asked me what I wanted and I said I didn’t know. He also asked how I felt about us since we weren’t together and I said I was fine with it. The train started to leave to I hopped off and our talk was left incomplete... I don't mind waiting around for him, but only if I know we will eventually have a relationship. I don't want to wait and then have him hook up with someone else. I don't know how to find out if he will give me a chance later when he's ready. I don't want to stop seeing him because he's a great mate, but if I do keep seeing him I'll just fall deeper. How do I get out of the friendzone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkelephant Posted July 20, 2010 Share Posted July 20, 2010 Well, normally I would just suggest showing up looking smoking *hot*, but in this case, I think you should just let him make the moves from now on and let it be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostgirlaus Posted July 20, 2010 Author Share Posted July 20, 2010 Well, normally I would just suggest showing up looking smoking *hot*, but in this case, I think you should just let him make the moves from now on and let it be. Yeah I thought I'd let him contact me and organize stuff first Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanzi Posted July 20, 2010 Share Posted July 20, 2010 I don't mind waiting around for him, but only if I know we will eventually have a relationship. I don't want to wait and then have him hook up with someone else. I don't know how to find out if he will give me a chance later when he's ready. I don't want to stop seeing him because he's a great mate, but if I do keep seeing him I'll just fall deeper. How do I get out of the friendzone? It sounds like he just wants to hook up from time to time but nothing serious (as you are no doubt aware) but as to whether or not it could ever become serious, there is no way of knowing and there is no way of finding out as I doubt even he knows that either at this stage. The only way of getting yourself out of the friendzone (and therefore to avoid a painful situation) is to take yourself out. I know that will be hard to do and I suspect that if he wants to meet up again you will do. If you do my advice to you is to try and not get too involved with this one person or, in other words, don't put all your eggs in one basket!! (ie. keep your options open) and be aware of the risk you are taking by staying in contact. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stay_home Posted July 20, 2010 Share Posted July 20, 2010 If you're worrying about trying to get outside out of a friendzone, you're not utilizing your time efficiently. There's a whole-wide world out there for people like you. One person unable to see what you have to offer is just 'one' person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brigadoon Posted July 20, 2010 Share Posted July 20, 2010 If you're worrying about trying to get outside out of a friendzone, you're not utilizing your time efficiently. There's a whole-wide world out there for people like you. One person unable to see what you have to offer is just 'one' person. Good point here. All you need to know is that it isn't happening and therefore you don't have anything to 'wait' for. So leave him and his situation alone, get out and do your thing and trust that if it's going to happen at some point then he has your number and he'll call you. Don't waste you life waiting for someone with no guarantee that he's waiting for you. *hugs* though because I'm currently trying to follow my own advice and it sucks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostgirlaus Posted July 21, 2010 Author Share Posted July 21, 2010 Thanks for the great advice guys I've decided I'm going to stop being so hung up on him. I'm going to go out, and if I meet someone else then that's good too. I'm going to wait and see when he contacts me, that way I'll know he's been missing me. In the year we were apart he did miss me, and text me twice. He will get in touch with me eventually because I have some of his CDs, but apart from that we'll see... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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