Circe1607308268 Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 Mauxly, you're right in that the Houdini stunt can happen any time. I've been bedded and bounced the morning after and after nearly a year and an engagement ring. It's a crap shoot. The only thing I know for sure is this: this latest debacle in which I've involved myself with Mr. Love 'em and Leave 'em is the first time I've made a very conscious, very deliberate decision NOT to have sex until I get a commitment, exclusivity and the actual words, "I love you." And this doesn't happen overnight, and certainly not after 3 dates. I get that, now. If I get all that, and he still bails, well...I did my damndest and I respected and protected myself fully as far as is possible. Only God knows what is going on in another person's head. If they still deceive me, that's life. But at least I am now letting my BRAIN run the show. Not my heart. Not my vagina. Not my hormones. Not my loneliness. Not that overwhelming sense of deep connection and warm comfort -- which is my greatest weakness and which often seems to disengage the gatekeeper! Every time, it's been that which has caused me to do something I bitterly -- please note this -- bitterly regretted later. Sometimes the price for fleeting happiness is so high that you can't afford it. Just be careful, because I'm suffering from a disappearing act that involved no sexual intimacy, and I know how much worse it could have been. But, then, maybe you're made of hardier stuff! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mauxly Posted July 22, 2010 Author Share Posted July 22, 2010 So we are riding his motorcycle to the top of the mountain to watch the sun set. At first I balked at the idea, for obvious reasons, but then I figured I just have to put my big girl panties on. And keep them on.... I'll let you know how it goes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mauxly Posted July 22, 2010 Author Share Posted July 22, 2010 The guy is a total gentleman. I think I've been worrying too much! (go figure!). Had a wonderful time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldenoughtoknow Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 That's great! I'm really happy for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mauxly Posted November 10, 2010 Author Share Posted November 10, 2010 Update. We did the deed within a few days of that last post. We are still together and it is going great. Yay! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissyMolly Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 Good for you, AND for your vagina! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mauxly Posted January 15, 2011 Author Share Posted January 15, 2011 Update: I started this thread back in July, and today as I write this a look at all of his belongings scattered about our livingroom. He's just moved in and we have a lot of rearranging to do. This has been by far the most drama free and fulfilling relationship I've ever been in. Now on to the next chapter. I know the concept of online dating is weird, and I know a lot of people have had comicaly bad experiences with it. But I'd say that we are a success story! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iBroken Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 He is moving in already? I'm glad to hear it is going so well!!!!! I met my current girl online.....I guess its just the luck of the draw Congrats on a healthy relationship! I will be rooting for ya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newwave Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 Congrats. I'm really starting to rethink my view on online. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mauxly Posted January 15, 2011 Author Share Posted January 15, 2011 He is moving in already? I'm glad to hear it is going so well!!!!! I met my current girl online.....I guess its just the luck of the draw Congrats on a healthy relationship! I will be rooting for ya Yup! We put a lot of thought into the decision to co-habotate. And I wasn't about to do it until after we'd had a conflict or two, I wanted to make sure we had good conflict resolution skills. Turns out we do! And we've spent nearly every night together since August. It just seems like the logical next step. He's such a catch. Loving, empathetic, emotionally intelligent, and fun and sexy. Score! We are very happy. Who knew? I remember coming to ENA a hot mess, allowing myself to be yanked around by an abusive guy who I thought I couldn't live without. Turns out life truly does march on. And you know? That break up, and rebreak, and rebreak...taught me about myself and what I truly wanted in a partner. As soon as I figured it out, the universe provided. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iBroken Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 And you know? That break up, and rebreak, and rebreak...taught me about myself and what I truly wanted in a partner. As soon as I figured it out, the universe provided. I learned the exact same thing from my last toxic relationship. So far the universe has delivered however, its still early so the jury is out on that one. But at the end of the day, its very refreshing to know after such toxicity, a normal partner can and does exist! If we move in together, Ill let you know how the universe turned out for me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophie274 Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 This is great to read Mauxly. Very glad that this is working so well! Tell the universe to provide to me too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brightest Dark Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 Glad it's worked out well for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 Maux, I'm so happy that you are happy. I'm not the biggest fan of pre-marital cohabitation, but I am a big fan of moving on from exes, having a fulfilling relationship, and learning how to be happy. Best of luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VerdeShimmer Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 We are very happy. Who knew? I remember coming to ENA a hot mess, allowing myself to be yanked around by an abusive guy who I thought I couldn't live without. Turns out life truly does march on. And you know? That break up, and rebreak, and rebreak...taught me about myself and what I truly wanted in a partner. As soon as I figured it out, the universe provided. For clarification this is the first dude right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mauxly Posted January 16, 2011 Author Share Posted January 16, 2011 For clarification this is the first dude right? Yes, all the drama was from my ex. If I'd had anywhere near that kind of drama with my current bf we wouldn't be together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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